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Ex-gf refuses to move out 2018/9/12 17:14
Hi all,

My recently ex gf(Japanese) has been living with me for 10 months( we've had a rocky relationship) and we finally broke up. She moved into my apartment which is in my name only. I'd been living there for 2 years before she moved in. She moved from a city that's about 2 hours from where we live now. She is currently unemployed and has no source of income.

Now that we are separated, she is demanding that I pay all her moving costs back to her hometown and the down payment on her next apartment. Her argument is that she had to pay a lot of money to move into my place so I should pay for her to return to her previous life.

Now, like most of you, my income is mediocre and I have very little money to spend. Im at a loss for what I should do.

Is it possible to have someone forcibly removed from your residence? As I pay all the rent and the name on the rental contract is mine, is it possible to get the authorities involved?

Any advice would be much appreciated.

Cheers,

J
by J (guest)  

Re: Ex-gf refuses to move out 2018/9/13 11:32
If you could get the locks changed on the door and toss all her stuff outside like at a moment when she is not at the apartment it would lock her out and she would have to just pick up all her stuff off the ground and move on, it would be easy, but don't know if you can get the locks changed on a rental apartment. I don't think you owe her anything if the apartment is in your name, you don't need to pay for her moving costs or anything.
by Tim (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Ex-gf refuses to move out 2018/9/13 11:39
oh and I think you should contact the authorities because she has no legal right to stay in that apartment, it doesn't hurt to talk to them about it, maybe they might have to escort her out of your place.
by Tim (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Ex-gf refuses to move out 2018/9/13 12:08
I think that you need legal advice. Changing the locks and putting her stuff out might be illegal.
by Paul (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Ex-gf refuses to move out 2018/9/13 12:11
"If you could get the locks changed on the door and toss all her stuff outside like at a moment when she is not at the apartment it would lock her out"
how stupid !

you can change the lock.
but, you can't throw away any her stuff.
1. if you throw away any stuff in the apartment area, you will have a trouble to the owner.
2. if you throw away any stuff on the road, it is illegal. police will come to you.
3. if you throw away any stuff which belong to her, she will have a right to sue you. according to law, you have no right to throw away other person's any properties.

generally speaking, if you live with others in your apartment, you are requested to inform this situation to the owner by the contract. if so, you already broke the contract. that is a good reason that you are kicked out from the apartment.

you have to find out a moderate and smart way to get out her from your apartment.
often, money may help you.
by ken (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Ex-gf refuses to move out 2018/9/13 13:27
Changing the locks is not illegal, but it is probably in breach of the terms of your rental agreement. If you can get permission, then I would change the locks. But donft do it in such a egregious manner. The above suggestion sounds confrontational and frankly, pathetic. Throwing someonefs belongings out onto the street as anything other than an absolute last resort is unbecoming of an adult. Just because she is being silly and unreasonable, doesnft mean you need to match her behaviour and neglect to show any sympathy whatsoever. Tell her in advance that you will be changing the locks. Explain that she needs to have her belongings out of your home by X date and that if the situation is not resolved by that day then more drastic action will be necessary. DO NOT just do it at a moments notice, allow her some time to make the necessary arrangements, gather her belongings, take care of accommodation, prepare mentally, etc. You want her gone now but is probably as difficult for her as it is for you, adopt a peaceful, diplomatic approach to avoid stress as much as possible and come out the better person.

And Ken is correct, if you didnft inform the building owner/management that your then-girlfriend would be living with you, youfre going to have to face up to the fact that she may not be the only one who is in the wrong.
by LIZ (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Ex-gf refuses to move out 2018/9/13 13:30
imoney may help you

Yeah, the Japanese way! Money! OP doesn't have money, obviously he's not working for Goldman Sachs Japan. I think he should call cops, I know they are usually unhelpful because they refuse to get involved in private matters but call them anyway, it is free and ask for help saying you need help before things turn ugly.
by ... (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Ex-gf refuses to move out 2018/9/13 13:46
If the woman has no income OP probably been paying over the odds for living expenses. It wouldnft be completely unreasonable to expect that he could possibly pay for a train ticket home something.

Whether or not it is reasonable to expect that he does that is a matter of opinion. But most foreigners I know who are working here have at least some disposable income, and none work for Goldman Sachs.
by LIZ (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Ex-gf refuses to move out 2018/9/13 15:28
I`d record any conversation, and if possible, have a witness.
by Paul (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Ex-gf refuses to move out 2018/9/13 15:45
She is financially abusing you.

You are now separated and shouldn't be liable for she expenses. It is not you fault she has no income.

You are basicly being blackmailed into giving her money so she will leave.

So either give her than money and boot her out. Or... call the police and ask for help.
by hakata14 (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Ex-gf refuses to move out 2018/9/13 21:09
according to laws, "living together" is considered sometimes as an actual marriage, and in other cases as that two persons live together independently.
"separation" is rather harder than "sticking together". everything is no so easy, especially when the both two persons are poor.
those relationship will not continue longer. you had to think about "separation", when you start to live together. your current trouble has been predictable.
by ken (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Ex-gf refuses to move out 2018/9/13 22:28
Don't Be rude to your Ex gf
Like millions of Foreigners, I have also Japanese gf.
When I first Landed in Japan, I don't know a single things about Japan.
After meeting her,She help me a Lot.Give me a part time job(arubaito)
Show me Local super market. How can I shop at Low price.Show me How I save yen on Transport by buying Teikiken.You know all are written in Japanese and it is difficult For Foreigners to understand or Fill up the Forms.However, she will get job easily after separation.
by Fahad (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Ex-gf refuses to move out 2018/9/13 23:37
**Update**

This is OP

For clarification purposes: she has been unemployed since the beginning of moving in together( I. E. 10 months) and I'm looking for advice on what to do next. But we agreed, that upon her moving here, she would start working; but has not gotten a job since 12/2017

And yes, only my name is on the rental agreement and I probably have indeed broken the rental agreement. Moving to another apartment isn't out of the question, but I'm just looking for what I can do.

My gf actually tried to baracade me inside my own apartment this morning before work. I just am not sure what to do seeing as I started living with a mentally unstable person. I'm scared to go home and actually fear for my life. I know going to the cops would be the smartest option if I lived in the States, but I know Japan well, and I know how the Police usually side with the nationals.

Like I said before, I'm at a loss at what I should do. I will most likely contact a lawyer on my next day off, but until then, I'm at the mercy of her. I appreciate any constructive advice.

Thank you,

J
by J (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Ex-gf refuses to move out 2018/9/14 05:47
Just wondering if she has changed her registered address to your place - her jyuminhyo. Not sure how it would matter, but it might - particularly if she has not done so, since it would be an indication that she does NOT in fact live there, or maybe didn`t intend to do so. All on paper of course, and maybe only useful information should lawyers/police need to become involved.
by Paul (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Ex-gf refuses to move out 2018/9/14 09:27
did you meet her parents ?
if yes, you may ask them a help.
if no, it is a bad signal. she only lives off you. you caught a bad girl.
(if you take an easy and convenient (for you) way, very often the result is like that. you had a good experience in your life.)

also, you may ask a help from a mutual friend.

lawyer: if you want to have an advise, you may have it free at some voluntary places.
if you want to really consult a lawyer, it costs about 5000 yen per 30 min.
if you hire a lawyer, the initial fee is about 200000-300000 yen.
I think paying some money to her is easy and less costly.

police will not help you, because you and she have lived together for a long time peacefully. police will not manage the separation. 100% personal matter.
by ken (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Ex-gf refuses to move out 2018/9/14 11:35
I am reading the most ridiculous messages here.

1) If the rent is on your name she has no rights at all and you can just go to the nearest Koban and order for removal. If I was you always takes pictures or videos of her mental state.
You have violated the rent contract since she moved in to your apartment, but you can apologize to the owner and see the what consequences occur.

2) Inform the owner about your situation

3) Living together is not a marriage state, never heard about that.

4) Changing lock is no option since it is rental

5) Put her belongings in a yellow bag and put outside on garbage day

6) Inform her she has no legal right to ask money and if she does not move out you can take legal actions since she is trash passing.

7) I really do not know why you allow this to happen so far but I believe part is your responsibility also.
Be a guy and take actions

by justmyday rate this post as useful

Re: Ex-gf refuses to move out 2018/9/17 12:12
3) Living together is not a marriage state, never heard about that.

Google "common law marriage".
by curious (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Ex-gf refuses to move out 2018/9/17 23:48
Honestly OP, I would look into someone who really knows tenancy laws in Japan. I found these links:
https://www.globalpropertyguide.com/Asia/Japan/Landlord-and-Tenant

https://www.tenlaw.uni-bremen.de/Brochures/JapanBrochure_18062014.pdf

http://www.generalunion.org/laws-and-rights/1700-so-you-re-being-evict...

I have never lived in Japan. And I've never needed to evict anyone, however, I have spent a lot of time reading reddit Legal Advice, where this sort of situation is fairly common place in the USA, and in the USA your ex-partner would be considered a tenant despite not being on the lease or paying any rent and you would not be able to just remove her things and kick her out.

I expect if this was to go to mediation in Japan you would likely be asked to pay the same expenses your ex is requesting.
by rkold rate this post as useful

Re: Ex-gf refuses to move out 2018/9/18 04:52
Tell her you will reimburse exactly what it had cost to move in with you, as soon as she provides receipts.
by ... (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Ex-gf refuses to move out 2018/9/18 07:18
2) Inform the owner about your situation
He may be kicked out for breaking the contract.

3) Living together is not a marriage state, never heard about that.
Haven't you heard of or , common-law marriage?

4) Changing lock is no option since it is rental
It is, only if the landlord allows him. But the landlord would ask him the reason.

5) Put her belongings in a yellow bag and put outside on garbage day
They don't collect yellow bags as garbage here. lol

6) Inform her she has no legal right to ask money and if she does not move out you can take legal actions since she is trash passing.
->3)
by ... (guest) rate this post as useful

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