Dear visitor, if you know the answer to this question, please post it. Thank you!

Note that this thread has not been updated in a long time, and its content might not be up-to-date anymore.

How do I find a Japanese penpal/ friend? 2006/1/28 07:23
Hi there everyone. I've been trying to find a Japanese penpal/ friend. Unfortunately, I think my letters to people have not gone over well. I'm not sure why, I don't think I'm being too forward...

I guess my question is, to the Americans- How did you find a Japanese penpal/ friend by using the classified ads on this website (ie what type of things do you say/ not say)?

And to the Japanese- What type of letters would you respond to/ or not respond to? Just in general. Thanks in advance.

by Rock  

My $0.02 2006/1/30 01:37
Keep the emails short, keep the language simple, and use common sense as to what's good/bad.

BTW, there are a lot of penpals who are "flakes"--that is, they write a few times then stop writing. Don't get discouraged. Just keep on writing to new people!
by OttO rate this post as useful

Ahh. That makes sense. Thank you. 2006/1/30 03:15
Thanks, that makes sense. I'll take that advice. I found a few people to talk to, I'll keep writing to all of them, just in case some don't want to talk for long. I'm hoping to find a good friend.
by Rock rate this post as useful

good penpal 2006/3/9 19:49
by labo osuman rate this post as useful

Don't give up 2006/3/10 18:19
I would say that the introduction is probably the most important mail and you'll have to keep it simple at the same time as you don't know how well the receipient understands English. But it also has to stick out. I met my wife at the penpal section the Japan Guide used to have and when I discussed later with my wife why she had continued to write to me and not to the many other emails she had received, it all came down that I had mentioned that I had just seen the Northern Light and how it had impressed me. She had been reading about this phenomena and was very interested in it. You have to get lucky, but you need to sprinkle enough things in your first emails so the receipient can find something they like.

BTW: Don't mention manga or anime too much, remember that the word 'otaku' has a pretty negative meaning to many Japanese ^_^;;
by Kappa rate this post as useful

penpals 2006/7/13 11:08
Hey, I am trying to find a Japanese penpal, the thing is I don't know were to go and I am kind of worried because I don't know if it would be safe. How do you know that the person you are talking to isn't some sort of werido?
by Sibel rate this post as useful

Me too 2006/7/13 14:36
im looking for a safe epal also! please help
(ps i posted a question about and epal so forgive me for asking her)
by Keiko rate this post as useful

HeYa!! 2006/7/14 00:02
Well i've posted an add here:

(go to the side bar to register/browse)

You can add a picture to your add also! But if you don't have one theres a section for people who don't have pictures (Normal Entry's)

And if you want, you can add more then one picture, and when you add more then one, you get your own little page along with your add.
Your "See More Photos" page.....

To see what i mean you can go to the "Members Area" on the side bar:


You can click on anyone of them to see an example....

On those additional photo pages, you can have awesome backround, but most ppl don't notice that you can change the backround so they just leave it blank lol.

I've met tons of really awesome people from Japan on there! It's an Awesome site for penpals/friends in Japan/Asia/Worldwide. Probaly the best! lol =P

Just be yourself, type things about you, and say that your interested in meeting people from Japan! And if you know any Japanese, even if its simple Japanese like Konnichiwa, then use it in your add if you can, it'll impress them!! And you could possibly advertise that you'd be willing to help them with there english, Since i noticed alot of adds on there from people in S. Korea and Japan (or anywhere outside england or the US really) are asking to be helped with there English!

Also, on the main page (the first link i posted) Try searching for people in Japan......by age and/or sex......and message the ones you find interesting! Don't be nervous......the people on that site are extremely nice!! (but unless your like drop-dead-gorgeous or blonde don't expect to get alot of responses from alot of the Japanese/Asian-guys on the site.......X(.....thats what i've noticed from personal experince and from what all my friends have said......but thats not true for ALL of them.....just 99% haha XD)

Oh, and When searching, after you've selected to see either "Normal" or "Photo" entries, next to "View", chose "Normaly" instead of "Summarily". Becuase with Normaly, there pictures AND adds show up XD

Hope that helped someeeeee XD

If you look on that members page you might find my add there somewhere since i have some views on my additional photo page......(there listed in order of how many people have visted your page.....)

See ya!

by Izanami rate this post as useful

pen pal 2006/7/27 23:30
Ithink a good place to start i right here on this website. Never give any personal information, right off the bat, wait and develope a relationship, then maybe ask for an address if you wish to send a little. If you do ask for an address also tell them they don`t have too if they don`t want. Never meet in any private or suspicious areas also out the open, much safer. Remember have fun, tell them what you`re about, but don`t sound like you are in love with yourself. If you are looking for japanese penpals. Remember the words (yoroushiku Onegaishimasu) and maybe tomodachi ni narimashou, this one is a little questionable, maybe deserate sounding. Don`t do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. Be aware that they may ask for your picture, and this could be the end of your correspondance, at least for me the girl asked for my picture and i`ve never heard from her since. Good luck
by baka rate this post as useful

on me... 2006/8/30 07:09
i don't think i can find any japanese friend. You know all the persons i am interested in to talk me rejected me until now. And i am talking for years it happens the same. In real life i am better but i think that even if i'll go in Japan i'll always be rejected to persons i am interested to talk with or make friendship. And the messsages were all ok as has been seen by many.

Althought, i'll never give up, even you shoot me a bullet on the head, i prefer death, i think it's not all that fair.
by Shiroi no ryuu rate this post as useful

mr 2006/9/2 01:05
by ibrahim fudu rate this post as useful

Respond to the person quickly 2007/10/23 07:21

What worked for me is that once you immediately receive a response to your wanted ad, respond as quickly as possible. If the person waits one week down the road, it won't work. As soon as you receive a reply to your ad, respond quickly.

Good luck,

by Melissa rate this post as useful

thanks 2007/10/30 14:30
itzanami san, thanks.
by tetsu rate this post as useful

Two cents 2007/10/31 07:34
Okay, here's my two cents... I'm a Japanese guy, but I believe those apply to girls, too.

1. Use Plain English

The most important thing you have to know is that the overwhelming majority of Japanese people don't speak English.

The conclusion we can draw from this fact is that you should communicate in plain English most of the time.

Don't use slangs even for teens, let alone the older. It's likely that you just confuse them.

2. Don't Write Too Long Mails

Okay, sometimes you want to write a lot. It's fine, but think of the person you write to. Most people feel obliged to write a long mail for reply in such a case. This can be a huge, time-consuming task for your penpal.

3. Use Other Communication Tools

Using an instant messenger will be a good idea to make everything simpler. You can also see how good he or she can respond to you during the interaction.

I found this kind of non-mail communication tools, IM, skype, facebook or whatever, necessary to build a long-term relationship.

4. Keep Trying

This is not Japanese-specific. Not everyone can get along with you. If they don't respond after a few mails, that's not too bad, better than not to try. Go ahead.

4. Beeter to Avoid Anime and Visual-Kei

Many Japanese read manga pretty often, but it's very likely that particular kinds of anime you watch are thought to be for kids in Japan.

As for music, Visual-Kei is not so popular in Japan. Some may like it, but others don't.

It's safe to avoid these topics unless your penpal like them. Don't worry. These are not deal-breaker at all. Just follow your common sense: talk about what interests both of you and your penpal.

On safety:

For those of you concerned about safety, don't worry too much. Unless you live close to your penpals, there's not very much they can do to you. And I really don't think Japanese guys are going to trick you. Obviously, I'm not unbiased in this respect, though.


I'm happy to be a penpal if you are looking for a Japanese guy.
by anoir rate this post as useful

reply to this thread