Dear visitor, if you know the answer to this question, please post it. Thank you!

Note that this thread has not been updated in a long time, and its content might not be up-to-date anymore.

Advice on helping Jp wife adjust 2003/12/8 14:30
I brought my Japanese wife from Japan to the U.S to live with me. She's having problem adjusting to the U.S culture and language. I was wondering if anybody have any good advice on what I can do to help her start her new life in the U.S off on the right food. Fortunately we have a Japantown here in San Francisco so she can still buy her food here.
by R.F  

... 2003/12/8 15:07
Subscribe to "Japan TV" and go to meetings of local Japanese community clubs (the ones by Japanese immigrants and not second or thrid generation Japanese-Americans). I am sure there are a few in San Francisco.
by Uji rate this post as useful

Thanks for the advice 2003/12/8 16:56

Thanks for the advice. How do I go about finding the japanese community for immigrants? I don't know where to start. Japan TV is cable right?
by R.F rate this post as useful

Japanese abroad mailing lists 2003/12/8 18:02
My Japanese wife joined one of the Internet mailing lists for Japanese living in France and found lots of advice and friends there. There does also exist a similar mailing list for the US: http://usakitchen.fc2web.com/
by Kappa rate this post as useful

AMF 2003/12/8 18:24
Also, the above Association for Multi-cultural Families is a well-known world-wide organization that can provide you a lot of info and advise.
by Uco rate this post as useful

more 2003/12/10 12:18
Just as a general remark, according to my experience, only Japanese can really help Japanese who have adjustement problems, not at last because the language barrier is usually the biggest problem.

How do I go about finding the japanese community for immigrants?

I guess there must be local Japanese publications in Japan Town which list contacts.

Japan TV is cable right?

The proper name is actually "TV Japan". It is provided by many cable companies and is also available via satellite.

Below is the list of cable companies which provide "TV Japan" in the US:
by Uji rate this post as useful

SF area info 2004/2/3 07:32
R.F, how's your wife adjusting to new life in Bay Area? She may have found some free town papers targeted to Japanese by now?

There are lots of rental video stores, if she's into Japanese TVs. I'm in LA, but I'm sure there are variety of Japanese TV shows on broadcast stations in SF area, too. She may be interested in renting videos of Japanese TV shows. I think there are several stores in Japantown and other Japanese communities.

I'm not sure if she already discovered some sites targeted to Japanese living in the US, but here are some good ones:

JINA http://www.jinaonline.org/home.php?city=SF
ViviNavi http://sanfrancisco.vivinavi.com/JA/

They have message boards and lots of local information for Japanese natives.
by Balloonhat rate this post as useful

Japan-America Society 2004/2/3 08:31
And how about the Japan America Society?

They have connections to any cultural events and groups she might be interested in being a part of. (for example, the San Francisco chapter of Urasenke tea is VERY strong).
by kyarinchan rate this post as useful

Adjusting to the U.S. 2004/4/3 15:24
Having familiar foods is a good start.

I would encourage her to mingle as well as meet other Japanese nationals.
I've met many Japanese women with American husbands who isolated themselves, even after 20-30 years.

Take an English as a Second Language (ESL) class. Many are provided at low-cost or free. She will meet others who are new to the U.S.

If you are at all religious, join a Japanese-American Buddhist temple. The Buddhist temples except Sokka Gakkai are the keepers of Japanese tradition in the U.S. (Bon Dances, mochitsuki, etc.) She will be around Japanese people, mostly English speakers but some who will speak Japanese so she'll able to communicate and become acculturated.

Take flower arranging classes, tea ceremony, etc. Join a taiko group (very popular now). She'll meet the "local" Japanese community as well as others who are interested in Japanese culture.

I think it's very nice that you are supportive. Good luck.

by welcome to U.S. rate this post as useful

Helping Adjust 2004/4/3 15:51
Take interest in each others favorite activities. Learn about each others backrounds a little more, and explain both positive and negative aspects of the new environment. Slowly she could take more interest and be more comfortable.
by northernlights rate this post as useful

removed upon request of poster 2004/9/21 14:34
by admin rate this post as useful

Missed your Prozac dose 2004/9/22 08:24
Okay, greencard sponsor, who said anything about a greencard?? You obviously have issues but it's not nice to project your own problems onto others.

All R.F. is trying to do is to help his wife adjust, so I think he has enough to worry about and does not hear about your ranting about your problem.
by Lynn rate this post as useful

Response to Lynn (and R F) Apology 2004/9/23 10:32

You are correct. This is not the forum for such a posting as I made. My apologies to the other readers and whoever maintains this forum should remove my prior posting(s). I do wish R F and his wife the best and I hope his wife adjusts well to the US. Hie's doing the right thing is seeking assistance, and I was not of much help.

Cross-cultural marriages bring their own special challenges, and rewards as well. In retrospect, mis-communication based on cultural differences were possibly the greatest challenges we faced, but it wasn't realized at the time. We do remain friends but I miss that relationship a lot (still), and unfortunately I posted my less than favorable thoughts on this subject at a weak moment. Hurt is often covered by anger. Perhaps others reading this can use this as a reminder to re-double their efforts to keep communication between each other as open and clear as possible. Again, my apologies to the other readers for having to read my prior (green card sponsor) posting(s). If there had been a way to retract my comments after I posted them I would have done so. Thanks for your honesty Lynn.
by improper posting from 9/21/2004 rate this post as useful

I have a Japanese wife... 2004/10/1 21:29
I have a Japanese wife. We have been married for 4 years and we have 3 kids who are from her previous husband.

It was hard for her (and still is) to adjust, but we are getting there.

Just try to communicate with her, allways be concious that she has to try really hard to translate your words before replying to you. Give her time, consideration and as much thoughtfulness as you can. Japanese cable TV might remind her of home, making a Japanese room in your house as I have witha butsudan might help. Just be understanding and patient.

I travel to Japan every year for our summer holiday, and makesure we see all mywifes friends, family. do thing she want to do with the kids. It is our holiday, but I do it for her and the kids. I am just there to share their happiness.

Make your wife understand you love her and want to make her happy.

We hae arguments sometimes, but then I always realise iut is my wife who has made the commitment to come to live with me and change her life so much, so I always feel bad when we argue, but it always makes our relationship stronger because it makes me understand how much she has to adjust to.

Good luck, and never give up.

by mark rate this post as useful

Hi Mark 2008/8/3 16:31
You hit the nail on the head. I admire your foresight and patience ....I went through this process starting 1985....Today I am more mellowed and care a hoot for the fast life...My Keiko has converted me to her serene life style ( including healthy food choices) of Kyoto. GOOD LUCK
by Flavian Rego rate this post as useful

reply to this thread