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Host family trying to be polite? 2007/7/24 12:35
So last year a friend and I stayed with a host family in Yokohama Japan(for 2 weeks). I felt that we all got along great and that the family enjoyed having us. They assured me that we would stay in touch and so on. I felt like we grew so close in those 2 weeks..We ALL cried when it was time to leave(especially my host mom). Which is how I got the idea that we must have become pretty good friends.

After I came back I heard from them maybe 3 times in the first few weeks..then nothing. I sent a letter a few months ago- no response. Are they tring to politely tell me that they really have no interest in a friendship? I haven't been pushy..I emailed once a month, but just never heard back. I guess I just don't want to face the reality that they didn't really see me as a friend, but as a guest.
by Skip  

Yep. 2007/7/27 02:54
They were just being polite, seems like they have no interest in using any of their time in contacting you.

Sounds like they only tolerated you.
by Morgan rate this post as useful

polite? 2007/7/27 03:36
any experienced traveller will tell you that they meet wonderful people here and there and have a good time, exchange adresses etc. but once back home... life goes on ... what about high school friends? once you start working ,especially if you move to a different town far from where you all went to school, you seldom keep in touch with the "best friends for ever" you couldn't live without.
older people will tell you that once people retire from work they only keep in touch with a couple of former colleagues at most.
think about it: if you had to keep in touch with all the nice and good people you ever met, by the time you are 40 it would take you all your daily spare time after work, shopping, etc. to correspond with them!
your host family liked you when you were there but now you are apart so there is no real reason why they should feel very close to you .
2 weeks is too short a time anyway to establish real bonds between people.
by Sensei 2 rate this post as useful

Keep it "once a year" 2007/7/27 12:25
That's normal. Even my former school teacher in the U.S. never writes me back. And she was a reading/composition class teacher.

Wait until early December and send them a nice Christmas card. I'm sure that would give them an excuse to send back a short greeting card or nengajo (new year post card) that will not use much of their time and language ability. The teacher sends me Christmas cards every year too, with a photo of her family.
by Uco rate this post as useful

me too! 2007/7/27 20:40
I have the same exact problem!!!

It's always gotten me worrying that I was the worst student ever to stay in their house (even though I was their first), so I thought of all the possible things I've done wrong while staying with them. I stayed with them for a month. I'm sad to hear that they would rather move on than continue to talk to me, especially when I'm returning to Japan soon!!
It makes me even more frustrated to know that one of my friends here still talks to his host family and he stayed with them for two weeks 3 years ago!

I sent mine a hand written letter a few months ago, and just recently an email with a "bribe" in it. I told them I'd send them more of those delicious nuts from Trader Joe's that they liked so much. I thought that would get them to answer. I hope they would like to see me again.
by Miko rate this post as useful

ok 2007/7/28 00:57
Thanks guys..I will keep it once a year.

Miko- thats what confused me too. My friend STILL talks to the family he stayed with for 2 weeks. So I guess, even though I was quiet and respectful, we really didn't hit it off. I think mostly I just wanted to make sure I wasn't a horrible guest. But whatever, even if I was, I'm in the US(for now) and really don't need to worry about what they might have thought about me.
by Skip rate this post as useful

help 2008/4/2 18:34
Sorry not to be more useful regarding the dilema... have to say i agree with the 'just busy people' idea - I have travelled heaps and have the best intentions about keeping in touch but never manage too. Anyway I am REALLY keen to do a homestay in Japan and am actually just wondering how you set yours up?
by KM rate this post as useful

. 2008/4/4 23:04
mine came with the study abroad program at my school. Right now I'm studying abroad again and the host family isn't included. One of my friends did a home stay recently this year for about 3 weeks in Kyushu. He contacted my school's International Center and asked them for details on how to find a host family.
Other ways are searching on the internet if you aren't planning on studying abroad via college. There's lots of programs that offer communication with open families. You'll have to pay the family though... like paying rent. But it's worth it.
by Miyuki rate this post as useful

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