Japanese attitudes to others

When I was in Japan earlier this year I had an amazing time. The people were wonderful, they couldnt do enough for me. I did my very best to extend every courtesy back (limited my knowledge is, but I tried!)
Now, this was a sort of 'fact finding' trip I have been a deep lover of all things Japanese since I can remember, I am planning on working there, but not before I do a few more 'fact finding trips' (another is planned for early 2009)
OK on to my question...

I have heard that the Japanese politeness and courtesy is a thin veneer, and that the real day to day japanese can be not quite as nice.

anyone have any experience of this?

like i say I have had nothing but welcome smiles and courtesy (and i didnt stay in a big hotel, I was in a Ryokan in Chidori-cho and just mixed in with the locals as best I could, boy I miss it...)

Thanks for the input

do you mean, that when they're with other people that aren't their guests they're not as infinitely giving?

There are lots of sincerely nice people in Japan. Then there are also many people who will keep their friendly face even if offended by mis-behaving foreigners.

Apart from that, there are lots of impolite, selfish and inconsiderate people in Japan, just like in any other country, especially in an anonymous environment. But in general, I feel considerably less aggression, confrontation and open unfriendliness in Japan than in North America and Central Europe.

I think I know what Terry means. I do notice that when a non-Japanese have lived here in Japan for a while, they seem to come to the point where people suddenly are not _as nice_ as they used to be. And I think similar things can be seen in any country.

When you're a guest, you are tolerated about a lot of things. But once you become one of the community, you are expected to follow the local rules and manners. If your appearance is obviously foreign, it seems you are still tolerated to a certain extent. But it's funny that as you get used to the community, you don't look that foreign any more. Even if you're a blue-eyed tall Caucasian, people can "tell" if you've lived here long enough or not.

And this is also something you see in any country, but the locals (the Japanese in this case) often say that they are very ill-mannered while if you travel overseas people are so nice to you. A typical example in Japan is that fewer people say "excuse me" when they accidentally bump against someone or step on someone's foot.

So, no, people won't be as nice to a long term resident as they are to short term guests, but that means that you are finally welcomed as one of us.

Thank you for the input, I have to agree that people are people wherever you are in the world. It just struck me how friendly Japanese people really are. I was not staying in any tourist area, so I cant put the friendly attitude down to say the money factor (be nice to the tourist so he parts with his money) I never felt that was the case ever.

Its just a few threads I have read over different forums have had a common theme, and I found it quite surprising.

I think I will look for someone to email-pal with in Japan to see if I can get a better insight.

Thank you all again

T

Think about it this way Terry, when you have a guest over at your house for a party etc, and you are having problems usually you try to put those problems aside and host the guest and make sure they have a good time. When they are gone, you might go back to the problems and arguments (of whatever subject that maybe).

I mean thats just an example not to say its not applicable in all cases.