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Absence of a wedding ring 2007/11/17 19:31
I've been tripped up twice now, thinking a Japanese woman is unattached due to the absence of a wedding ring and then finding out later she actually is.

As I can't seem to find a definitive answer on the Internet I'll ask here: is this common? Is it related to which wedding ceremony the couple went through (Shinto vs. Western) or is it something completely unrelated?
by John  

... 2007/11/18 12:15
Yes, I think it is common. And completed unrelated to the ceremony type they went through. Just personal preference.

I've met couples (yes, married) where the guy wears his wedding ring, and the woman doesn't (or the other way around). When my husband and I got curious and asked them, the lady said "oh I find any ring on my hand cumbersome, so I just don't wear it" and the guy didn't mind it either (or the other way around).
by AK rate this post as useful

ideals and reality 2007/11/18 14:07
Growing up as a Japanese girl, I always thought that wedding rings are important. My (Japanese) parents wore them all the time, and I kept seeing (Japanese) TV shows where characters forget their wedding ring on their lover's bedside and get in trouble.

Also, although I found any kind of jewery physically uncomfortable, much to my surprise, my well-designed simple wedding ring fit my finger perfectly and never bothered me nor my husband. I knew from taking tea ceremony lessons that you're supposed to take all your rings off when touching precious vulnerable pottery, but that didn't bother me either, and I took my ring off during the hour worth of lessons and put it back on again.

However as I got close to my due date, the nurse told me to keep my wedding ring elsewhere because (A) pregnant women may gain water weight, (B) your finger might blow up when pushing down to give birth and (C) it's better not to wear rings when bathing your delicate baby. So I took my ring off and never thought of wearing it until we could forget about the baby tub.

And then in those months, I found out that the ring is no big deal. Our love won't change (doesn't get worse nor better) just because of a ring, and besides I don't have to worry about the soap that gets in between my finger and my ring. Sooner or later, my husband took his ring off too. We keep it in a lovely case along with our son's navel string.

Now I am more surprised how a wife can do her dishes or wash thin laundry with wedding rings often as gorgeous as with ones with diamonds on.
by Uco rate this post as useful

rings 2007/11/19 08:06
She gets her husband to do the laundry or the dishes... Juat kidding.

I was always amazed that my mother wore her engagement ring almost all the time- it had 13 diamonds and looked like it would have got caught on/ scratched almost everything.

Engagement rings don't seem to be common in Japan, and most people have very plain wedding rings, a much better idea.
by Sira rate this post as useful

Good idea, Sira! 2007/11/19 16:35
Engagement rings are a must in Japan when two people promise to marry each other. It's just that you don't wear them all the time since the diamonds get caught in your laundry ;p But it's a good idea to let the husbands do it, since they have no stones on their rings!
by Uco rate this post as useful

The Ring Story 2007/11/22 12:40
"...But it's a good idea to let the husbands do it..."

Me too found out that the ring is not a big deal really. But I am in the other way out you know? Aloud me to share a funny story: I took it away about 5 years ago, before that, my husband didn't like to wear his ring. From that day on, he is been wearing it back again! One day, while glancing at me, he told some friends that by this way he makes it clear that he isn't "available" anymore. ??? Jesus, I am 55!
I strongly believe that love won't change by wearing it or not, and maybe I am a bit romatic, but I'm planning to to take it to a jewelry store, make it melt, and reshape it as a drop like designed pendant, with the diamond in the middle.
I chose a drop because it is a symbol of what an average marriage has: Blood,sweat and tears. I am sure that it is a great idea and hope that my husband doesn't get mad at me.

Sorry to the original OP's question, maybe it is not a clear answer, but maybe you can understand the feminine's psyches. We are romantic as well as practical.
Thank you all for sharing.
by Nice mom rate this post as useful

I don't wear one. 2007/11/24 03:14
I'm Britsh and I don't wear one, neither does my Japanese husband. We know a J-couple our age who also choose not to wear rings.
It's down to personal preference, so whatever country you are in it's rather presumptuous to guess someones availability or not based on their jewellery.
I think it's a rather silly tradition really.
by urusai rate this post as useful

I always wear one 2007/12/2 12:06
*smiles* Ever since I was 14, I've always worn a ring on my ring finger, even when I was single. I just feel odd without one. I don't think pieces of jewellery should ever indicate ''availability''!
by shira rate this post as useful

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