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How to Deal with Perverts? 2007/12/21 20:36
I've had some pretty bad experiences with men I consider perverts and would like to know if I can avoid them or what to do if I find myself in another situation.

I'm an attractive 18 y/o slim African American women with a DD cup size. When in Hiroshima I got both positive...and negative attention. Some situations were actually scary. I'll name a few.

One day while taking a walk in Hiroshima's center I was approached twice with unwanted attention. The first was an elderly man who had been staring at me for a while at a distance, and as I walked past him, he started conversation. It was a basic "Where are you from?" type of encounter which I didn't mind at all. But then he kept telling me that the building behind him was his house... and he had a garden... I had no idea why he kept mentioning that, but he kept staring at me in a way that just made me uncomfortable. I... just tilted my head and just went back to walking.

Not even five minutes later, out of NOWHERE this man appears beside me (he looked NINETY for gods sake), walking at my pace as if we were together. He asked me what I was doing and I replied that I was going for a walk. Afterwords, he asked if we could go together. I shyly said no, trying to hide a expression of well...disguist. He asked again and said he would join me for just ten minutes. Then he pointed to a building in the distance and said we should walk "that way" (I don't get this part either). I continued to say no when he suddenly reached out and grabbed my arm, in shock I jerked it back and he appologized. I tried to walk as fast as I could in heels and eventually noticed he was gone (even so, I kept going as quick as I could to get to a public place).

I've also had several odd situations with taxi drivers.

I'm used to attention, I get it in the US too (never from men over 30, though). But the type of attention I get in Japan is a little different. I mean, a man following a woman and grabbing her in America would be considered an arrest-able offence. And usually when I tell a guy I'm not interested, they back off. But guys in Japan don't seem to get the message. ._.

I was curious if... someone went too far, would it even be possible for me as a foreigner to notify a police officer? Or would they do nothing about it? I'm absolutely clueless when it comes to Japanese laws regarding harassment and if these things are even taken seriously. Some of the taxi drivers seemed pretty calm about asking sexually-themed questions, as if doing something like that couldn't get them fired like it would in the US.

How can I avoid perverts? Are there any Japanese phrases in particular that'd scare them away? Anyone else have experiences?

And pleaaase don't say "Maybe it's the way you dress" or "cover up" because I can say with confidence that the majority of young Japanese women I've seen in Hiroshima dress way more provacatively than me, large chest or not.

And um, sorry guys, I like to blab a lot. :]
by niko-chan  

don't put up with it! 2007/12/23 20:15
From that story, you not only allowed him to keep talking to you, you say you answered "shyly". Try having a more agressive demeanor- it seems Japanese women put up with a lot by being passive. If you don't feel you are in physical danger, adopt a strong voice and posture and tell them to go away or you will go to the nearest koban and claim they groped you. Don't do anything that can be construed as being shy or passive- they'll take it as an invitation.

If you do feel the guy might be violent or agressive, go into the nearest combini (well lit, staffed, surveilance footage should the worst happen) and call someone. I had to do this once because a man was following me in his car, yelling obscene things at me. I called a well-built Australian man-friend to come get me.

Japan can be really scary, be careful and don't look weak!
by Kate rate this post as useful

phone calls, police and a strong no 2007/12/24 09:15
Just pretending to make a phone call to your boyfriend or parents works. Otherwise, just "going" to a koban or walking close to a police(wo)man works wonders. You don't have to file a complaint if you don't want to. Just stand around or talk to the officer and say you want to be there for a while, because someone's following you.

Taxis are scary, because you're practically alone. I really feel sorry for the very few but wonderful drivers, since so many of the others are harrassing.

Actually, I have to say that 18 year olds should rarely need to ride a cab in Japan. There are plenty of public transportation. But if you must ride one, say no to any conversation you feel uncomfortable with or just ignore him. You're lucky because you can pretend you don't understand Japanese.

When you're 18, you get really weird people approaching you. I've had similar experiences all over the world. And no, it has nothing to do with how you dress or what you look like.

As Kate mentioned, be bold and tell them a strong "no!" Once the problem is settled, you can smile at him again if necessary and everything will be okay. I learned this from watching European ladies.
by Uco rate this post as useful

Uco! 2007/12/24 09:47
walking close to a police(woman works wonders :)
by Module rate this post as useful

Module 2007/12/24 22:31
by Uco rate this post as useful

chikan 2007/12/27 06:27
If you're on a crowded subway you can expect some groping. What's recommended is to grab the offending hand, raise it, and yell "chikan" (which means pervert) several times. This always does the trick.
by Tay rate this post as useful

. 2007/12/27 06:48
Thanks for the tips everybody. I'll definately try some of those. :)

To be completely honest... the reason why I'm not aggressive with these perverts is because I'm a foreigner and I don't want to make a scene.
But seeing as these guys are perverts... no matter what I should stand up to them. I've actually done that pretending to be on the phone trick a dozen times back in California when guys follow me, but at the same time I take other safety measures like going into a womens bathroom or a crowded place.

I have no idea why but when it comes to guys in California, I take them very seriously and know that at any moment they could try to kidnap or rape me. But... for some reason I don't think Japanese men would do that, so I don't act as cautiously as I should.
by niko-chan rate this post as useful

dealing with perverts 2007/12/27 15:52
When they come up to you and make uncivilized advances, just say ''Uzai!'' Warning, this is VERY rude, but it will do the trick! It works for me. Be very aggressive and assertive.
by Haruka rate this post as useful

... 2007/12/28 21:07
What does uzai means?
by inkepinke rate this post as useful

Uzai 2007/12/28 22:55

What does uzai means?

It's a commonly used colloquial corruption of "uzattai", meaning "annoying" or "a pain in the arse". I wouldn't call it "VERY rude", although obviously it's not exactly polite either.
by Dave in Saitama rate this post as useful

WOW! 2007/12/29 05:14
Sorry to hear about your experience. On the occasions that I've visited Japan, I've gotten that. While in Tokyo this past May, some guy was following me down a street in Akihabara, whsipering "sexy" to me. I'm from Brooklyn, NY and I'm not rude, but he definitely got the message that I wasn't interested. I was in Hakone during that same trip, but unlike you,most of my unwanted attention comes from perverts of the juvenile variety. A couple of these boys took photos of my behind. Quite a few came to a water fountain to take a look at my chest. I caught a few trying to look in my shirt from the staircase above the vending machine where I was getting a bottle of water. What a waste since they could see nothing. I just thought it was pathetic. Frankly, once your chest is disproportionately large for your frame, the stares and attention will follow. And I'm very particular about being covered. I find that walking the streets confidently does the trick.

As for the trains, I avoid the really crowded ones or position myself against the door or wall so that no one in behind me.

Also, pepper spray is illegal in Japan, so I keep a small can of air freshener in my purse. Spraying that in someone's eyes should be just as effective. At least to give enough time to get away.
by aurora rate this post as useful

some phrases 2007/12/29 05:59
hey im not gonna be able to spell this rite but ill have a go, here are some useful phrases to use.

please go away -achimi, des kudasai.

leave me alone -ho toy des

go away or ill call the police - nu porni kanaito, ke ta to yo gi matio

or something like that, sorry for the shit translation. maybe someone can correct this?
by jon rate this post as useful

grow up 2007/12/29 08:18
Yeah, I'll correct it: Don't use offensive words in your posts.
by Tay rate this post as useful

this might be better 2007/12/29 11:53
uzai: buzz off

please go away: atchi e itte kudasai

go away: atchi itte

leave me alone: hottoite

go away or I'll call the police: dokanai to keisatsu yobimasu yo
by Uco rate this post as useful

about that... 2007/12/30 16:43
about that correction of Uco's post by "Module", it is not a correction at all,it simply makes it incorrect! Uco,you were correct!
And thanks for those phrases,they're going to be very useful!:)
by cindi rate this post as useful

make a scene 2007/12/30 20:28
I would say go ahead and make a scene, that will shut him down fast once everyone starts looking at him.

I was curious what an 18 year old does in Japan? Are you a student or maybe your parents work here?

Just curious.

Ganbatte kudasai!
by Chris rate this post as useful

chikan! 2007/12/31 10:33
According to some books I've read, what ladies does, mostly on the trains is to yell out Chikkan. There is always a chance that it won't work. Just like go away and look for some help. I would usually help someone, but a lot of people will try to butt out, so just be careful
by Christian san rate this post as useful

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