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Gay people... 2008/1/20 23:52
Hi! ^^

I'm girl and I have steady relationship with female. We're going to visit Japan this year with two friends of ours and I'm willing to know if it's proper to show "sings of attachment" to my girlfriend in public. Or may it be dangerous?

by Eri  

... 2008/1/21 07:59
Whether gay or not, it is not dangerous, but it is against the local customs and not appreciated if you show affection in public.
by Uji rate this post as useful

You should be okay 2008/1/21 11:51
I'm gay and pretty much all my friends in and around Tokyo are. I personally didn't feel any prejudices against me while I was there and had no problems. One of my friends (Japanese) was really flirtatious and was also stroking my face and feeling my pecs and holding my hand while we were out eating and stuff. No one really seemed to care or give us weird looks. Which was sorta weird as he's _really_ flirtatious which is pretty contrary to most Japanese people I know I should mention this was Tokyo. Not sure if you're planning on going to Hokkaido or Aomori or someplace out there. You might run into problems out there. But that's really no different from being in NYC and then going to like Kansas City. So I would say enjoy yourself, but try to be respectful of people around you. When in Rome do as the Romans, ya know.
by NYCBunny rate this post as useful

. 2008/1/22 17:06
PDA is a bit uncommon in Japan, as a foreigner you might be 'excused' for this behavior... but many Japanese people find PDA to be unnerving or dirty. However, teens are slowly changing this trend.
by niko-chan rate this post as useful

everyone 2008/1/23 15:53
I'm a heterosexual male and I have a Japanese girlfriend and I've lived here for 2 years. Just sort of the culture here is that you really don't show affection in public. My girlfriend freaks out if I try to kiss her in public (but I still do;-) holding hands is okay.

I have many great gay and lesbian friends and am not in any way judgeing you, but your question is will Japanese people be wierded out? In my opinion, yeah, I think they would.

It's just a different culture over here.
by Brigg rate this post as useful

In Japan like Japanese... 2008/1/24 04:17
Thank you for everybody! I'll need those advice.

But now some other question popped up to my mind, and it's about love hotels...
Is it true that even in Tokyo district love hotels don't accept same-sex couples?

And if it's not, where to find homosexual friendly place?

And if it is, how the staff knows if there is same-sex couple (behind the wall or etc?) if they can't see the customers face or anything? Well, I'm just deadly curious!
by Eri rate this post as useful

Hotels 2008/1/24 07:25
according to a TV show I saw Love hotel staff see the customers faces but the customers don't see the staff. Of course some Love hotels have a checking system that uses a machine and credit cards but I doubt that the machines have English..on a related note a couple of years ago several Toyoko Inns didn't accept a reservation by 2 males for a room with a double bed but rented them to 2 women. On the other hand the owner of a small Paris hotel made a big fuss once because we (2 males)wanted twin beds. He insisted that we get a cheaper double and spent the difference on a nice meal!
according to many guidebooks Shinjuku Kabuki-cho area has numerous gay bars. couldn't help you there as I never go to bars, clubs etc. you are likely to find info on the internet..
by Red Frog rate this post as useful

hmmm 2008/1/25 00:16
You will get a lot of looks no doubt just by not being Japanese women haha. To answer your question, which most people stated already, tone down on the "PDA" holding hands might be fine. You will not be rejected though, just don't go over board.
by MarineUSMC rate this post as useful

Love hotels 2008/1/25 00:21
You should be fine with the Love hotels. They are pretty easy to use. Most of them are just pictures of a room, then you press the button or screen. Go up to the room that is blinking. Pay when you leave at the door or front desk. Credit Cards accepted at the nicer ones, but mostly in Japanese. You may also want to try business hotels they are cheap and a good way to get off your feet. If you want to see the love hotels though, it's understandable. If you HONESTLY do get rejected, just have one of you go in, get the room and then have the other one come up. Quite simple, I'm not gay but I've had my share of experiences with love hotels in Tokyo. They are pretty neat. At most of them you will not see the workers, and they may or may not see you.
by MarineUSMC rate this post as useful

Thank you~ 2008/1/25 04:12
Red Frog and MarineUSMC,

Thank you both very much too! :) Information was quite encouraging, so I'll try it! Wish me luck.
by Eri rate this post as useful

Yup 2008/1/25 11:45
Anytime, and good luck with your adventure to Japan. It is amazing here.
by MarineUSMC rate this post as useful

Gay people. 2008/1/25 15:55
I'm originally from San Francisco, and married to a Japanese woman and living in Japan.

I just wanted to add that Japan seems much more tolerant of gays than much of the US (perhaps even San Francisco). You will probably feel comfortable almost anywhere in Japan, and are likely to get curious glances only because you are from another place.

My wife, who is Japanese, doesn't find public displays of affections whatsoever "offensive". Every society draws a line somewhere between "public" and "private". Of course everyone here is different, but displays of affection tend to be considered more private here, yet are very unlikely to actually offend anyone, and will mostly go unnoticed.
by zoogy rate this post as useful

Hand-Holding 2008/5/17 00:18
You've probably already gone already, but for the sake of anyone else who's interested, female friends in Japan hold hands all the time, so nobody should think you were weird, even if you were obvious about it. It's perceived as being cute.

Also, as far as the love hotels go, many of the ones that don't allow male pairs in claim to do so for fear of thieves disguised as gay couples or some such nonsense. Female couples should have an easier time, and even if you are rejected, all you'd need to do is try the next one down the street. I went to one with another guy once and it went without a hitch.
by RNVP2 rate this post as useful

Really? 2008/5/17 14:22
I didn't know it was even possible to be "rejected" from a love hotel. I thought everything was confidential.
That could sure ruin someone's day.
Discrimination like that is legal?
by niko-chan rate this post as useful

holding hands 2008/5/17 18:34
....female friends in Japan hold hands all the time, so nobody should think you were weird,

Really?? I doubt it.
I'm a japanese female born and raised in Japan but have never seen adult female friends holding hands on streets or anywhere else in all my life. Of course it's quite possible that I might have just not noticed and there should be some in the world. But at least it's unusual while you may see a lot of female kids and some female junior high students holding hands on streets in Japan.

So when seeing female adults holding hands in public, some may think they're somewhat weird or probably a lesbian couple though I think you should have nothing to be ashamed of being seen so.
by j female rate this post as useful

Double beds 2008/6/18 13:00
I never had trouble with getting doubles for my girlfriend and I. In Kyoto they accidentally gave us a twin room but fixed it as soon as we called reception.
by R. rate this post as useful

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