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Does Seki wo ireta mean kekkon? 2008/1/29 17:11
My very close japanese friend got married when I was out of Japan for almost 6 months.Now I am Back to japan.She got married but did not have a proper wedding ceremony.she told me that what she did was seki wo ireta or something like that.I am not sure about that.Since I am going to meet her this Sunday for the first time after her marraige do I need to give her any gift?Or should I give it to her in the wedding ceremony which is going to take place in March.Only thing is I am not sure whether I will be invited or not cause she wants a private ceremony with her close relatives only.Let me know.And what should my gift be?
Thanks in advance.
by Alexandra  

Yes 2008/1/30 09:43
"Seki o ireta" means "finished the official paperwork of marriage, and therefore we are now a lawful married couple". So what you say to her is "Congratulations on your marriage".

Whether you give a gift or not is totally up to you, but usually gifts aren't appreciated to be given at the ceremony because there is so much to do for the bride and bridegroom and it will be a burden to bring home all the gifts they may get. If you want to give her a gift, give it in advance.

Most likely, you will not be invited to the wedding. That's what she means by "doing a small one with just the relatives". People who want to avoid all the fuss just do the paperwork, and just to please the conservative folks they do a small ceremony.

Now, I'm sure other posters might mention about the "gift money". In Japan, you can give cash instead of items. Some seem to believe that it's always cash instead of items, and some even believe that you give cash even if you give items, but it's _either an item or cash_. The cash can be given either in advance or at the ceremony reception.

But personally, I think items are more thoughtful especially if you can bring something from other countries. Also personally, I don't think gifts are really necessary for people who avoid the fuss and don't bother to hold ceremonies. Why not just ask her what she wants, and if she tells you not to bother then be it. Maybe you can buy her a drink though.
by Uco rate this post as useful

Thanks!! 2008/2/1 19:00
Dear Uco..thanks a lot for ur reply.Well I got it now.I asked her about the gift and as u said rightly she said I really do not need any gifts..But since she is a dear friend I am gonna give her an emerald bracelet. I hope she likes it.
But thanks anywyas..
by Alexandra rate this post as useful

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