where to live w/ japanese spouse

i am american married to japanese spouse. we are young, have been married for three years, all of which were spent in US while I'm a grad student. we are not sure whether we want to live in the US or Japan. how has that all-important decision gone for readers of this forum? have you lived a few years in japan, a few years in the US (or elsewhere etc.)?

That's a difficult decision to make and one that would be unique to each couple. I can't give you much advice besides saying "talk to your spouse." Your decision should be based on your professional goals, family goals, interests, preferences, etc... Take your time to talk it out and think about the future deeply (it's hard for a young married couple - I'm in a similar situation). Best of luck!

there are 2 considerations: 1)the main one is how easy will it be for each one of you to get a job in either country? this will help decide everything else as regardless where you live your family needs an income. Your Japanese wife can get a job in Japan and likely also in the USA but can you easily get a well paying job in Japan? do you speak Japanese? 2) how much do you each really like the other country, its culture etc.? have you spent some time in Japan?

thanks red frog. i posted the question at an incredibly sleepy moment and realized soon after that i didn't give any information about myself... i speak japanese--not natively, but well. i work in a profession that would allow me to work in japan without too much difficulty. My wife doesn't have plans at the moment to work, but if she ever decided she wanted to, it'd be less stressful for her to work in Japan; while her English is good, she's not very confident in it. i lived in japan for three years before we got married, and now we've been in the US for three years after getting married; and we both about equally like and dislike aspects of US and Japan. i think for many couples language and job employment issues decide for the couple where they'll live. (i hope the following doesn't come across the wrong way) we've been quite lucky: things've worked out for us such that we really do have a choice to live in either country. of course we know we don't need to make that decision today, and we are contemplating perhaps living a few years here, a few years there, until we settle into some place that feels right. i just thought i'd post this thread to see if i could learn from those who've been in a similar situation.

p.s. if anyone has experience living in a third country--foreign to both spouses/partners--i'd love to hear about that too. we're contemplating that (living in Europe, or elsewhere in Asia perhaps) as well.

Poyo
obviously, by writing about you and your plans, you have in a way answered many of your concerns..My partner and I met in a 3rd country (in North America). The main problem was finding a good job as our education and work experience in our native countries (Europe for one, Japan for the other) were totally dismissed. Interviewers said thing like: do they have real schools in you country? do you live in real houses..it was over 30 years ago but even the latest immigrants that I hired at work had a hard time finding a decent job. I was lucky to find work in a place were the C.E.O and the managers were immigrants /from immigrant families and knew all about discrimination. We are a real UN! the sad thing is that most of us are over qualified for what we do. However the job is interesting, the pay is good and the benefits awesome (I now have 2 months off a year). What I mean is that both of you may have problems finding work related to your education/ experience in a 3rd country. My brother was lucky as he worked for a company in his native country and was sent to various countries for 1 to 3 years at a time. The big drawback is that for 25 years he and his family were always between 2 cultures. Even their native country felt foreign as they only went there for a long holiday once a year.

2 months of vacation a year! what i would do to have that! thanks for your thoughts. i think you're right; finding work in a third-country would be challenging.

chan-konabe--sorry i didn't initially see your response. Thanks for it and for your advice. You said you're in a similar situation--best of luck to you.