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Staying with my GF in Japan
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2008/3/29 04:08
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I'm a Chinese-Canadian, and I have never been to Japan before. I honestly don't have much knowledge on Japanese customs and such. My GF and I have been dating for roughly half a year now and we will be going to Japan together come July. Although I'm very grateful to my GF for offering to let me stay with her and her folks I'm not really sure what to expect. I have never met them before and I want to make sure I do the right thing s and that I don't upset them.
I can speak some conversational Japanese as I have been learning in my own time, with my GF helping me out along the way of course. Are there things I should say other than Hajimemashite Yoroshiku onegaishimasu? Should I bring a gift of some sort?
Any help would be greatly appreciated.
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by raginglemon
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I'm suprised that your GF and her parents are letting you stay with them in Japan. Usually when a GF introduces her boyfriend to her parents and is living with them, it usually means she's going to get married. Are you two engaged?
Anycase yes, bring a gift from Canada or something unique you can find from your area. If all else, good old alcohol never fails.
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by John
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Actually, no we're not engaged, we haven't even talked about marriage yet, it's a little too soon into the relationship. So I should bring something that's Canadian then. Alright thanks, what should I say when I first meet her parents?
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by raginglemon
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Visiting parents
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2008/3/30 12:54
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All Japanese have had formal English instruction, and are largely familiar with N. American culture. Don't worry too much. Chances are (though everyone is different), her parents are looking forward to meeting someone from another country and the chance to practice English. A simple greeting will be appreciated, but her parents probably won't expect you to know Japanese. They also might not expect you to be able to sit comfortably on the floor, or to be able to use hashi (chopsticks), or to like many Japanese foods. Most likely, her parents are just as nervous about making your stay comfortable.
It's unlikely you will make any awkward cultural blunders that anyone will find offensive. If you walk across the tatami in muddy shoes, when you first walk in the door, that might be pretty surprising, but still probably not offensive.
Japanese customarily bring gifts when visiting. Maple syrup is expensive here, and will probably be appreciated.
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by Inago
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I hate to say it...
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2008/4/3 00:19
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but Japanese parents dont want to know about your exitence until their daughter wants them to meet you. When she is introducing you to them, it's a cultural way of saying, "Mom, Dad, this is the one." You do not have to be engaged, but this does mean that your girlfriend, whether she intends to or not, is saying that to her parents. That is certainly how her parents will perceive it. You should bring a gift, be very polite and meet them RIGHT AWAY. Even if you have plans to go somewhere before you get to their house, you should skip it and go there right away. Otherwise it is an offense to her father and he wont take you seriously.
You need to talk to your girlfriend. And make sure she is clear about the implications of this meeting. I hope that I am overestimating this, but it never hurts to ask.
Good luck.
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by Chris
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