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getting divorce need info? 2008/5/1 04:06
hi guys ive been married to my wife for 2 years and things went good for a while, but we have our differences and the more time i spend with my wife i realized that marriage was a bad idea. i am 25 and she is 24, i am american and she is japanese. anywways i have 2 questions for you guys that know about japan well. the first is, how bad is it going to be for her when she goes back, since she will be divorced(we dont have kids)? what i mean is, is her life going to be screwed up for good because she is divoced? the other question i have is that she says it will be hard for her to get a regular job when she goes away beacuse she claims that once you get out of college you have to get a job right away, and if you dont like in her case, it becomes nearly immpossible to get a full time regular job, could you guys please shed some light on these issues. thanks
by john  

Divorce 2008/5/1 14:31

Maybe several decades ago there was a certain amount of stigma to being divorced, but I don't think it is any big deal these days.
Sorry, I can't really comment on the employment situation for women.
by Dave in Saitama rate this post as useful

Divorced women 2008/5/1 14:49
Divorce seems to be getting more common, but I have yet to meet a woman who is on her second marriage. The women I know have kids though and are working just to make ends meet.
by Lan rate this post as useful

Well... 2008/5/1 15:12
It sounds like you still care for her. Two years into a marriage is not a long time; give it more time to work itself out.
by Lenny rate this post as useful

From Japanese woman's point of view 2008/5/1 16:37
After 8 years of marriage, my American ex and I split up about six months ago.

Becoming divorced is not a big deal in Japan anymore except in a countryside. Your wife is still young so she should be able to get a some kind of job... Hard to comment on this without knowing her education level, work experience and in where. I was already 33 when I came back to Japan but I got a job as a technical translator the next day I visited an employment agency.

It sounds like she doesn't want to split up. If she really does, job or her reputation won't matter. My ex and I were arguing all the time for the first two years. Our marriage didn't work out because he wanted to have a kid and I didn't.

Well, good luck to both of you.
by Mei rate this post as useful

only 2 years? 2008/5/1 22:45
I'm married to a Japanese woman (this year makes 20 years). We've been through a lot, and I think more than most couples, but I can't imagine getting a divorce. I have to agree that the first two years are the most difficult. If you can get through those times, you've got a good chance of survival. The next hurdle is the seven year itch. My advise would be to stick it out. Do what you can to make it work.
by Ronny rate this post as useful

she has a college degree 2008/5/2 00:10
im sorry i forget to mention that she has a college degree, in fact thats how we met, she was a exchange student at my university. she has a 4 year degree but she doesnt have any real job experience since she didnt work in japan after she finished she came back to america and we got married. and in america she did odd jobs so she has no real work experience.
by john rate this post as useful

Hi 2008/5/2 08:46
I assume that she has a good English command since she graduated a college in the US. If so, there are many positions in large cities even she doesn't have good work experience. She might not get a full-time position right away, probably needs to start as a temporary employee fist.

Sometimes being apart from each other allows you to realize things you did't see when you are together. After my ex and I were separated, I only felt happier and less stressed, didn't miss him at all so I though that was it. I wish I had made my mind up much sooner, before wasting so much time and money...
by Mei rate this post as useful

2nd/3rd marriages 2008/5/2 08:55
To Mei,

What's your take on remarriage. There was a post about it earlier saying there aren't many divorced women remarrying in Japan.
by Kao rate this post as useful

Kao 2008/5/2 17:49
What's your take on remarriage.
My Japanese wife & I were both divorced when we first met. After dating about 5 years we got married, while living in California (where we planed on living, "forever") Her company offered her a promotion, if she wanted to move back to Tokyo, so we made the move. She has never had any problems about remarriage, here or back in CA. Two of her friends are also remarried, too other Japanese.
I don't think it's such a big deal here.
by for what it's worth rate this post as useful

Remarriage 2008/5/2 18:07
What part of Japan are you in? The divorced Japanese I know, both men and women have not remarried. I'm in the Kansai area. They rarely even talk about being divorced.
by Kao rate this post as useful

Kao 2008/5/2 18:21
We are living in Tokyo.

For what it's worth,
She does not have any children and they are still good friends.
by Married Again rate this post as useful

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