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Proper wedding amount from family 2008/6/17 09:26
We are traveling to Japan in 4 weeks to attend our son's wedding to a Japanese woman. What is the proper amount for us to give them? Also what amount is proper from his sister's and their husbands. Is it proper to put all the money together into one envelope or should we all use individual envelopes? Thanks for any help!
by travlur  

well.... 2008/6/18 03:36
Since he is your son, you could ask him :-)

For Japanese, there is a pretty strict protocol for wedding money. I believe 50,000 Yen is usually standard for family, but since you are not Japanese, you may not be expected to give this. Afterall, you are flying from overseas which is an expense in itself....
by Kazuyuki78 rate this post as useful

also 2008/6/18 03:50
You could just bring a non cash gift. Maybe down the road, give some money to help them set up a new life together? Typically, the money given at Japanese weddings is used by the couple to actually pay for the wedding, not for their start up costs, just so you know.

This is just a thought. Anyone else out there with any opinions?
by Kazuyuki78 rate this post as useful

. 2008/6/18 10:45
Parents don't give gift money. They simply help payments for engagement/wedding ceremonies and housing (which is quite a large amount), and by the time the ceremony is on all of these amounts would be settled between parents of the two families and the engaged couple. Of course, if the son can manage them himself, helping won't be necessary. Gift money amounts depend on the region, age, custom and feast, and generally speaking siblings pay between 10000 to 50000 yen per person. One envelope per household is practical, and if you're meeting the bridegroom before the ceremony date, you should gift it directly to him instead of presenting it to the reception. But in reality, siblings often get away without paying anything because the parents pay considering the expenses for the siblings' meal.

But I agree with Kazuyuki. A lot of non-Japanese people on this forum seem to prefer paying cash, but personally I've always supported the option to give a thoughtful item of an equavalent value instead. I also think it would be sweet if the bridegroom's siblings can give things that the newlywedded wife can use. But that's all up to you.
by Uco rate this post as useful

Domo 2008/6/18 23:54
Thank you for your answers to my inquiry. They are appreciated!
by travlur rate this post as useful

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