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gifts when meeting J-bf parents 2008/8/7 10:06
Hello

Im Tasha. I am in a relationship with a J guy for about a year long. We are both students, aged 24.

I'll be visiting my bf's family for the first time soon. In my culture, its better to bring some gifts when visiting such as cakes or fruits.

May I know what is common too give when visiting a Japanese family? And for your info, the grandma has diabetes. Is it ok to bring sembe?

I would like to make a good impression and be polite.

Thanks!

by karin  

. 2008/8/7 19:58
In Japan as well, it is common to bring some gifts when visiting a home, such as cakes or fruits.

For the grandma or about the gift in general, why not ask your boyfriend for advise? I'm sure he wants you to make a good impression too.

Senbei might not affect diabetics, but I wouldn't be so sure if an old lady has teeth healthy enough to bite them.

Also, if you can get something from your own culture, that might be best. Otherwise, give them something you like yourself. That would be a good reason to have chosen them.
by Uco rate this post as useful

thanks 2008/8/8 11:46
thanks uco for the suggestion. i asked him in the first place, what to get for the family esp since the grandma has diabetes.

him, being a simple guy said, nothing is ok. but i know its not right and polite. thats y, i came here to ask for oppinions.

I dont hv anything from where I come from, except for famous amos cookies.

how about umeboshi?

thanks!!
by karin natasha rate this post as useful

Sugar free 2008/8/8 12:00
If you still want to give some sweets, I'm sure you can at the very least order sugar free goodies online.

http://www.diabeticcandy.com/
by BWinc rate this post as useful

bring something feminine 2008/8/8 20:19
Karin, umeboshi might not be bad, but I'm not sure if people with health problems appreciate something with as much salt as that. Also, it's not really common for a young lady or in fact any type of visitor to bring umeboshi unless it's some special umeboshi such as something expensive or something you made yourself.

Why not visit a department store basement and see if you can get any advise from the information counter. Some department stores even have concierges nowadays.

And it doesn't have to be food, you know. You can bring some flowers or something. Or you can bring quality coffee or English tea. Something in a pretty package would be nice.
by Uco rate this post as useful

Thanks Uco 2008/8/8 20:29
Thanks Uco. I think I have some choices now. Im visiting on Aug., 11th.

Btw, is there anything I need to know or do when visiting Japanese families? From what I've heard, a few of his family members are married to foreigners. I am relieved upon hearing this, but still I need to make an impression here. I dont want to be rude on my very first visit.

Thanks a lot!
by Karin Natasha rate this post as useful

Japanese manner 2008/8/8 21:01
When you enter the house, please prepare shoes.And when you go with stockings or a bare foot, wear socks soon after take off your shoes.
by mgmusym rate this post as useful

Say "ojamashimasu/ojamashimashita" 2008/8/9 01:33
You probably know a lot of manners since you seem to be living in Japan, but I suppose the only thing I could say is that you shouldn't be surprised if the reciever doesn't open the gift. According to Japanese tradition, you are not supposed to open the gift in front of the sender. But this is changing, so they might open it and they might not. Have fun.
by Uco rate this post as useful

thanks mgmusym and Uco 2008/8/9 11:34
Thanks for the oppinions!

I've been here (Jpn) for about 1 and a half year. There are some manners that I know about Japanese customs. But this visit is important for me.

I dont speak Japanese that well and I hope I do not hurt their feelings with my broken Japanese.

Thanks again for the input!
by Karin Natasha rate this post as useful

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