Home
Back

Dear visitor, if you know the answer to this question, please post it. Thank you!

Note that this thread has not been updated in a long time, and its content might not be up-to-date anymore.

Writing an email. 2008/10/27 12:43
Could the Japanese pros please read my reply to an email I got and make sure it's alright.I don't want to make any silly mistakes. And I'm sure there are better and more proper ways of saying what I want to anyway....

連絡が遅くなってごめんなさい。
今日は晴れですが土曜日の天気はひどいでした。
ワイタケレの天気はかわりやすいです。
来年、日本に留学ことができませんか余裕がありません。 
父は失業者です。わたしは、仕事に就く必要があります。
僕はとても失望しています
多分、2010年日本に留学することができます
私は垂オ込んのは、New Zealand Institute of International Understandingがやりました
New Zealand Institute of International Understandingは慈善団体です http://www.nziiu.co.nz

Basically her email was her asking me about the Ryuugaku programme I was on and she wanted to know if it was organised by the Government or something other. Now obviously I can't go as I can't afford it.
by magpie1862  

... 2008/10/27 15:24
連絡が遅くなってごめんなさい。
今日は晴れですが土曜日の天気はひどかったです。
ワイタケレの天気はかわりやすいです。
来年、日本に留学することができません。余裕がないからです。 
父は失業中です。わたしは、仕事に就く必要があります。
僕はとてもがっかりしています
多分、2010年には日本に留学することができると思います。
私は垂オ込んだのは、New Zealand Institute of International Understandingがやっているものです。
New Zealand Institute of International Understandingは慈善団体です http://www.nziiu.co.nz

I made several changes:
- Line 2: ひどい is an i-adjective, so its past form is ひどかった。
- Line 4: I added "suru" after "ryuugaku", and I changed the connection of the clauses "I cannot go study in Japan next year" BECAUSE "we cannot afford it." 
- Line 5: 失業中です is a softer way to say the same thing
- Line 6: 失望しています to say I am disappointed, がっかりしています is more natural expression to say you are disppointed and sad about your own situation.
- Line 7: I changed the sentence ending to say that "I THINK I can probably go in 2010..." I added "(2010年)には" to emphasize that "IN 2010 (though not next year), I should be able to go."
- Line 8: I changed: …がやりました (was done by...) to …がやっているものです (is something done by ...)

Sorry to hear of your situation; seeing your good skills with the language, I do hope that you can go in another year's time.
by AK rate this post as useful

. 2008/10/27 17:13
僕は

As you used 私/わたし elsewhere, this should be also 私 or わたし.

私は垂オ込んだのは

私が is appropriate here.
by meringue4 rate this post as useful

Whoops 2008/10/27 19:05
Thank you, meringue4, I'd overlooked those :P
by AK rate this post as useful

reply to this thread