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Writing an email.
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2008/10/27 12:43
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Could the Japanese pros please read my reply to an email I got and make sure it's alright.I don't want to make any silly mistakes. And I'm sure there are better and more proper ways of saying what I want to anyway.... 連絡が遅くなってごめんなさい。 今日は晴れですが土曜日の天気はひどいでした。 ワイタケレの天気はかわりやすいです。 来年、日本に留学ことができませんか余裕がありません。 父は失業者です。わたしは、仕事に就く必要があります。 僕はとても失望しています 多分、2010年日本に留学することができます 私は垂オ込んのは、New Zealand Institute of International Understandingがやりました New Zealand Institute of International Understandingは慈善団体です http://www.nziiu.co.nz Basically her email was her asking me about the Ryuugaku programme I was on and she wanted to know if it was organised by the Government or something other. Now obviously I can't go as I can't afford it.
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by magpie1862
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連絡が遅くなってごめんなさい。 今日は晴れですが土曜日の天気はひどかったです。 ワイタケレの天気はかわりやすいです。 来年、日本に留学することができません。余裕がないからです。 父は失業中です。わたしは、仕事に就く必要があります。 僕はとてもがっかりしています 多分、2010年には日本に留学することができると思います。 私は垂オ込んだのは、New Zealand Institute of International Understandingがやっているものです。 New Zealand Institute of International Understandingは慈善団体です http://www.nziiu.co.nzI made several changes: - Line 2: ひどい is an i-adjective, so its past form is ひどかった。 - Line 4: I added "suru" after "ryuugaku", and I changed the connection of the clauses "I cannot go study in Japan next year" BECAUSE "we cannot afford it." - Line 5: 失業中です is a softer way to say the same thing - Line 6: 失望しています to say I am disappointed, がっかりしています is more natural expression to say you are disppointed and sad about your own situation. - Line 7: I changed the sentence ending to say that "I THINK I can probably go in 2010..." I added "(2010年)には" to emphasize that "IN 2010 (though not next year), I should be able to go." - Line 8: I changed: …がやりました (was done by...) to …がやっているものです (is something done by ...) Sorry to hear of your situation; seeing your good skills with the language, I do hope that you can go in another year's time.
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by AK
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僕は
As you used 私/わたし elsewhere, this should be also 私 or わたし.
私は垂オ込んだのは
私が is appropriate here.
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by meringue4
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