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American parents of groom-what to wear? 2009/1/18 17:06
My son will be marrying a Japanese woman in March. The wedding will be held in a Shinto shrine. The couple will wear traditional dress, and I believe the bride's parents also will be in kimonos. What is appropriate style of dress for Amerian parents? I've been told to avoid bright colors, but are there any other specific things we should avoid at the ceremony? What about dress at the party later?

I am a handweaver and would like to wear a jacket, shawl or scarf of my own design. I would wear this handwoven piece over a black or navy dress. How much color or pattern can I include or should I keep it all solid dark shades?

What should my husband wear? What about American guests (the groom's aunt and uncle and a few friends from the US)?

by tartanwood  

..... 2009/1/18 23:14
The father should wear a dark suit. What you describe should be fine. As far as relatives darker colors are best and suits for the men and dresses for the women. The party, most people wear brighter colors than the wedding.
Congratulations to your son and your family.
by Beto (guest) rate this post as useful

Congratulations 2009/1/20 11:01
I generally agree with Beto, but if you're talking about the party immediately following the wedding, and not something arranged on another date, family and guests don't change their outfits.

About your husband, why not take this opportunity to communicate with the parents of the bride? When I got married, my father asked my father-in-law what he would wear, so that he knows for sure, whether it's a tuxido occasion or a morning coat occasion. Rentals should be available as well.
by Uco rate this post as useful

More about dress I'd like to wear 2009/1/20 12:05
Thany you Beto and Uco.

The party will be held sometime later on the day of the wedding, so we probably won't be changing clothes.

We have to communicate through bride since we do not speak Japanese and her parents do not speak English. We did get clarification for my husband. They want him to wear a morning coat which we will rent.

My main concern is my own dress. I probably will wear a long dress in a dark color--black or navy--but I also would like to make a jacket that will have some color in the design. I weave one-of-a-kind scarves that I show at art festivals here in the US, and I would like to weave a special piece for my son's wedding.

My scarves are mostly dark, but they each have a 6 x 8 inch panel of tapestry that has bright colors and gold metallic threads. Instead of a scarf, I am thinking of weaving 2 or 3 of the small tapestry panels to include on the front of a jacket. Most of the jacket would be dark except for these brighter panels of more colorful tapestry with gold accents.

The tapestry panels would suggest an abstract landscape rather than an image of anything in particular.

I am still planning the project, but I just want to be sure that I don't do something that will not fit the occasion.
by tartanwood rate this post as useful

Perfect attire! 2009/1/20 15:17
Tartanwood,

As mentioned, I think you'd look lovely and most appropriate in that outfit.

Just for reference, typically the other mother would probably wear a "tomesode." You can Google to take a look at some examples.
http://images.google.co.jp/images?q=tomesode&rls=com.mi...:*:IE-SearchBox&oe=UTF-8&sourceid=ie7&rlz=1I7TSHJ&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wi

As you can see, tomesode is basically black, but is decorated with happy colors of gold, red and white, and typically will be worn with an enbroided "obi" belt. The discription of your dress and scarves match perfectly. Quite often, the mother would wear a Western style evening dress, so you don't have to worry about being too different, either.
by Uco rate this post as useful

Younger guests 2009/1/20 15:22
I also Googled the word "wedding" in Japanese, so that you can get an idea of how the other guests dress up.
http://images.google.co.jp/images?um=1&hl=ja&rls=com.mi...*%3AIE-SearchBox&rlz=1I7TSHJ&q=%E7%B5%90%E5%A9%9A%E5%BC%8F

You probably know that long solid-black ties are for mourning and should be avoided. Gentlemen guests typically wear dark suits with long white/light-color ties or dark/light-color bow ties.
by Uco rate this post as useful

Thank you for images 2009/1/22 14:05
Uco,
Thank you so much for the images. They reassure me that my jacket design will be appropriate. Now I need to get busy weaving it so that it will be ready in March!!

Thank you also for the advice about long black ties. I will be sure all American guests understand not to wear them.
by tartanwood rate this post as useful

. 2009/1/22 15:13
Pretty much if you wont' wear it to a formal business meeting, try not wearing it to the wedding. Men should try to wear suits of course.
by John (guest) rate this post as useful

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