some questions now that I'm here..

1. While here in Japan, I am going to be meeting up with a friend of mine who was a teaching intern in my high school Japanese class in Las Vegas. I feel really awful because I was going to buy her a present before leaving America, but there were complications (pretty much I was trying to get her something specific that was sold out, and I had waited until the day I left because the store was right by the airport). Anyway, now that I'm in Japan, I don't know what I should do.. I'm not going to her house or anything, so I'm not sure if it's appropriate to give a present at all (will it make her feel weird for not getting me one?), and if so, if I should even get one at this point since it will obviously be bought in Japan and last minute.. What do you think? And what sort of gift would be good? I really wish I could have gotten her something from America, but I blew it ugh..

2. I've always called her -name- sensei, but since our relationship has moved beyond the classroom and we're going to be hanging out with our boyfriends together, should I call her -name- san now? Or stick to sensei? I'm 19 and she's like 25 btw, if that makes a difference.

3. I'm having a tough time with paranoia. Last time I was in Japan I had a horrible experience (a monk who had taken a vow of silence yelled at me about what a stupid American brat I was, how I'd never learn anything in life because I was American, etc. since he thought I was taking a picture of him, which I wasn't). Anyway, now I'm really afraid of Japanese people yelling at me/thinking I'm an annoying stupid foreigner/secretly hating me and it's keeping me from having fun. The biggest problem is that I'm afraid of going into places that I can't read the kanji names of because I think they might be 'Japanese only' or a place that only members are allowed. So when I go to a place like Shibuya and want to explore new areas, I'm too scared to walk into buildings and down stairs and things if I don't know what those places are.. I know, so silly. Is there a way I can know which places are okay to enter? Are most places around stations and big city centers okay to go into? I don't want to look like a dumb foreigner.

4. How much does it cost per person for an hour at Karaoke Kan in Shibuya? What about in the black light rooms? The website says to call the location to find out. Have any of you been there before?

5. Do all karaoke places have the same songs?

6. I'm having trouble finding the kinds of things I would like to do in Japan. I know they are here, but just don't know where or even how to go about searching for them. I'm not really into shopping, going to fancy restaurants, seeing normal touristy things, etc. I like going to wacky places and having fun, like the Ghibli Museum and Namja Town. Any suggestions of other things I can do aside from *gag* shopping?

Thanks!!

"Anyway, now I'm really afraid of Japanese people yelling at me/thinking I'm an annoying stupid foreigner/secretly hating me and it's keeping me from having fun"

Don't judge all Japanese based on that experience with one person- have you not had any Japanese people be friendly to you? Think of that as the norm, rather than the guy with the temper- his reaction was rather un-Buddhist, actually. I have encountered far more friendly, open people here than rude, abusive people- just forget the negatives.

"The biggest problem is that I'm afraid of going into places that I can't read the kanji names of because I think they might be 'Japanese only' or a place that only members are allowed. So when I go to a place like Shibuya and want to explore new areas, I'm too scared to walk into buildings and down stairs and things if I don't know what those places are.. I know, so silly. Is there a way I can know which places are okay to enter? Are most places around stations and big city centers okay to go into?"

What kind of places are you trying to go into? I haven't really had this problem, I find that most places in areas like Shibuya that are restaurants or shops, look like restaurants or shops. There are often downstairs shops in places like the backstreets of Harajuku- if you see stuff that is for sale and a sign somewhere with opening hours then obviously it's ok. "Japanese only" is pretty much restricted to hostess bars and some hotels in Hokkaido- I've never not been allowed into a place because I wasn't Japanese in the 11 years I have been here. It's certainly not the norm here and Tokyo is a far more international city than that- people here are pretty much used to foreigners these days and aren't going to ban us from their establishments.

As for unusual things to do, here is the "Quirky Japan" homepage- http://www.quirkyjapan.or.tv/

Try Googling something like "weird Japan" or "off the beaten track Tokyo" for yourself and see what you come up with. Look in bookshops like Kinokuniya in Shinjuku for guidebooks on that kind of thing. Also don't discount the "touristy" places as they are often the best of what Japan has to offer and provide some great insights and people-watching opportunities.

Hi GoLizzy,

1. Gifts aren't necessary. And if you tell her about what you've been through trying to get her a gift, I'm sure she'll appreciate your thoughtfulness and that would be enough. That said, if you spot anything in Japan that might suit her, why not get that as a gift. Give it to her in a "I happened to spot this, and I just had to get it for you" mode. Ornaments, accesories, hankies, pretty sweets, anything is fine.

2. A "sensei" will always be a sensei to you unless she insists you call her "-san."

3. I'm the type of a person who'd adventure into any kind of place alone, but I find that most tourist, no matter their nationality or what country they are touring, are very hesitant about walking around by themselves. So you are not the only one who is afraid.

You don't have to try to do anything you don't want to do. Take it easy. Why not stick to guided tours for a while. Perhaps your accomodation can recommend you something. Take one step at a time.

That's what I did when I had my whole luggage stolen in Europe. It was one of my rarest moments where I decided to stay at an inn that spoke my language Japanese, where I said "yes" to the owner's recommendation and went to a cocktail show for tourists, where I said "yes" to the performer when he invited me on stage and had an expensive photograph taken of me dancing, in return that I take a photo of the photographer.

Sticking to touristical spots for a while is in fact a good idea, because touristical spots are supposed to be generous to tourists no matter what mistakes they may make. Let people be kind to you and let them allow you to gain back your confidence.

Also, don't expect your bad memories to change into good ones. You just have to create new memories so that you can remember them better than the bad ones.

Btw, "Japanese only" signs are usually written in English, but I've never seen a real one except for the one I saw in Okinawa.

Have fun!

Questions regarding pt. #3:

a. How did you know he had taken a vow of silence?
b. How did he know you were American?
c. Did you make this up?
d. Why did you make this up?

I wondered about a and b myself. It just seems like a really odd thing to happen.

I didn't want to make it into a long paragraph, but I guess I have to. This was when I was in Japan on foreign exchange in high school. I was actually part of a group of kids in my school, headed by my sensei, who all did a homestay during the summer. Before we actually started the homestay, we traveled across Japan together in sort of a guided tour that my sensei lead us on. She would explain things to us about our surroundings and translate, etc. Anyway, we went some place that had a bunch of monks in different parts of the city (I think I remember them being monks. They were dressed sort of old school with large hats on and were praying without moving). Anyway, we talked to a few, but my sensei told us that three of them had taken a vow of silence, or that they vowed not to speak during praying hours or something along those lines. For sure, this guy wasn't supposed to be talking. Anyway, since we were in a huge group and everyone was talking in English, and I was apologizing profusely to the guy as soon as he looked up all angry-like, it wasn't hard to guess we were American. We were also wearing matching shirts that all read where we were from and which school in English and Japanese, so again, not too hard to figure out.

I think it's kind of rude that you would suggest I'd make that up. But, my sensei couldn't even believe he did that after he did it right in front of her, so I can sort of see why you might find it hard to believe.


To everyone else who had helpful answers and encouraging words, thank you!

Hi GoLizzy,
Big Echo currently have a special promotion going that enables you to do Karaoke for 2 hours with all you can drink and some food for 3000yen.
http://www.clubdam.com/app/be/page.do?type=be&source=cp...
That might be suitable for you :)
As for #5, well you will not have a shortage of selection lets put it that way :)
I have not been for ages but you used to get a very nice discount if you went during the weekday.

I would put the Ghibli Museum in normal touristy section - but highly recommend if you are a fan of their animation.
Unfortunately I am not the best for recommendations there as I lived 99.9% of the time in Nagoya with only brief stays outside.

I had a monk yell at me the first time I visited a temple. I stepped onto the wooden planks by the shoe rack outside the temple, and was removing my shoes, didn't see the sign saying I shouldn't have my shoes on while on the plank. He yelled and I whipped my shoes off with lightening speed lol, never made that mistake again. I felt and looked like a dumb, ignorant tourist, one of my worst fears anywhere I travel. The rest of the four weeks I had the time of my life in Japan.

Perhaps the monk was fed up with people including Japanese who talk while they are talking vow of silence. It is disrespectful, not to mention distructive. But I don't feel what he did was right, either, and I understand how it frightened you. Please try to put this behind. Japan has so much more to offer you.

Well, Japanese people think that all white people are "American." When my kid was little, he would often have strangers saying to him, "Amerika-jin ga kita! (Here comes an American)," but he's totally Japanese and can't even speak English. He just has light-colored skin and hair.

There are over 120 million people in Japan, and one of them yelled at you- it hardly means that all Japanese think foreigners are stupid, right? He was stereotyping you by your nationality, don't do the same thing back to the Japanese!

If I was in the US and had one angry New Yorker yell at me, is that representative of all the people in your country? Hardly. Think of the people you meet as individuals- most of them will do the same for you.