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in many countries, parents will stop sending their daughters to school so that they can save for their son(s) education
Actually this WAS true to a certain extent. Not to save money for the sons, but people simply used to believe that women should not become more educated than the men, and that they should get married as soon as their age comes and focus on home-making rather than careers. This was quite typical nation-wide before WW2, but in conservative areas it was still true in my youth. A lot of my classmates in the conservative all-girl's high school in Nagoya city were told by their parents that they should stick to two-year colleges rather than going to a four-year universities.
What you need to keep in mind, however, is that all the basic English expressions had always been taught during the 3 out of 9 years of compulsive education. Even after that, most people, women included, were taken for granted to attend 3 more years of senior high school where they were taught enough English to catch up with students of English speaking countries their age. So with the exception of the generation who were teenagers during WW2 when English was banned from schools, most women in Japan say 70 years old and younger were always given equal opportunity to learn basic and advanced English as much as the men. Plus, if you limit the info to us in our 40s, we are the so-called "bubble-economy generation" where parents suddenly became more wealthy and decided that women should seek careers in order to become equally wealthy in their future. Sure enough, my schoolmates from that conservative high school all ended up going to four-year universities.
Again, just because you attend English classes, that doesn't mean everyone does well. But generally speaking, female brains are said to be designed to be skilled in languages, and it so happens that a lot of women with less schooling speaks better English than most men with higher education.
You are the perfect example of a woman in her 40s who speaks and writes better than the average gal in their 20s! I say your English must be the best among your friends.
Yes, it is among the best, because I went to grade school in the U.S. So although I am a perfect example to talk about my generation, I am not the perfect example when it comes to estimating the skills of that generation based on me.
Back to your concerns, my best advise is to learn the local language. It's never too late to do so (And how late could 40s be?! My father attends university now learning Spanish!). But if you're not the type, try to find a home in an area that a lot of expats live. For example, if you are to live in Tokyo, Minato-ku would be ideal, and in Yokohama city, Yamate would be nice. Because where expats are, locals who are eager to speak English will gather. In other words, I have to say that it's a bit mis-leading to imply that just because a group of friends speak English, the majority of that generation does too. That's only an example of "Like attracts like."
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