Sitting Japanese style

I have back and knee troubles and will visit Japan for the first time in November. I'm 70, and in good shape except for back and knee.
I can't squat very well. What do I do when eating in a Japanese-style dining room or restaurant?

brucesantarosa,

If you cannot kneel or sit cross-legged, then you should avoid places with only Japanese-style tatami seating.

When booking or going to a restaurant where you suspect the seating might be on the tatami floor, you'd have to ask if they have "teeburu seki" - table seating area - or "horigotatsu" seat - this is where you sit around a low table on tatami mat floor, but the floor under the table is dug out so you have leg space as if you were seated at a regular western style table.

I am assuming you will be staying in western style hotels for your comfort, but if you ever want to stay in a "ryokan" - traditional Japanese inns - make sure that for dinner and breakfast they have "dining rooms" with table seating, as against many inns that only serve meals in-room on tatami seating.

Your name sounds male. In that case, and especially at your age, if it works for you physically you can get away with sitting cross-legged (with your legs in front of you) as opposed to the proper Japanese style ("seiza," with your legs under you). For me, there is a huge difference in comfort level between sitting cross-legged and sitting in proper seiza position, which I cannot do for more than a couple of minutes. Even a kneeling position but with the legs to the side as opposed to directly under the butt (which is the most relaxed you can get away with if you're a woman in a skirt) is much more painful than cross-legged position.

Generally speaking, Japanese people are very indulgent of foreigners and elders. They will understand if have trouble with Japanese style seating, and will often try to accommodate you. (And regardless of what they might think about a woman sitting cross-legged, for example, they wouldn't say anything or refuse service in a restaurant or anything like that.)

If you cannot even sit cross-legged for any length of time, then it is indeed better to avoid situations where you will be seated on a tatami mat for an extended period. There are plenty of good trandtional Japanese restaurants where you don't have to sit Japanese style. (As described by AK.)

I have knee problems myself but can usually get through an hour or so on a tatami by sitting cross-legged most of the time but shifting position every once in a while. If you have an opportunity to get up and walk around a little once or twice, it helps a lot. (If you are eating in your room in a ryokan, you can do this. Of course, getting up from the tatami is an effort itself!)

A lot of aged Japanese people cannot sit folding the knees (seiza). Even those with healthy legs can't sit seiza style for more than say 20 minutes or so anyway.

Just tell them that you have knee (hiza) problems and that you need to sit on a chair (isu). They will understand and arrange you a table seat or horigotatsu.

You are also excused to stretch your legs on the tatami floor, if that solves your problem.

On a related note, as there are many aged local women with similar problems, there are enough Western style toilets here and there.

After Uco mentioned about squatting, I suddenly remembered something I needed to ask.

Growing up in a 3rd world country, I always squat when defecating, even on pedestal toilets (the ones meant for sitting). I will be staying at a Japanese person's house. Is it rude if I lift the toilet seat cover and squat?

Lily,

I suppose what you do behind a locked toilet door is no one else's business, but I think your host would be pretty horrified to learn that you were squatting on their toilet seat. If you really have to do it, make sure you also lift up the seat itself, as they are usually made of plastic and could probably break if you put your feet on it. And don't leave footprints, whatever you do!

Lily,

I'm not sure if I understand. Are you perhaps saying that you put your feet on the toilet rim as you squat? If so, make sure you wipe the rim first with toilet paper to make the rim clean, and make sure you wear the toilet slippers as you do so. I don't think the residents of the house will appreciate guests walking around in socks or bare feet that just touched the toilet rim. But still, it sounds to me like it's very dangerous; you might slip.

If you're going to keep your feet on the floor, I see no problem about it as long as you don't scatter things all over the place.

But I'm just curious. Why do you want to squat? Can't you just face the rear side of the toilet and squat over the seat cover (not the lid, of course) and have your thighs touch the cover as you do your business? Actually, that was what I used to do when I was very little trying to get rid of my diapers.

Uco,

I'm not sure if I understand. Are you perhaps saying that you put your feet on the toilet rim as you squat?

Yes, that's exactly what I do. It's no different from how I do it on a squatter toilet. The last time I slipped from a toilet was 20 yrs ago (I was only 3 then). I don't think many ppl over the age of 4 slip from squatting on a toilet if that's what they do everyday.

But I'm just curious. Why do you want to squat? Can't you just face the rear side of the toilet and squat over the seat cover (not the lid, of course) and have your thighs touch the cover as you do your business? Actually, that was what I used to do when I was very little trying to get rid of my diapers.

It's how I always did it since the age of 2. When I went to the US at 17, I tried defecating at sitting position, I find it really hard to get anything out! Even after I am done doing my business, I feel that I haven't thoroughly emptied myself. I feel that there is nothing more practical and natural than squatting! Most of my friends who only squatted when they were young feel same way.

Wow you actually remember when you were in diapers? Wasn't that under 2? You didn't squat back then?

I don't think many ppl over the age of 4 slip from squatting on a toilet if that's what they do everyday.

Well, I'd never heard of anyone putting feet on that thin rim everyday.

Wow you actually remember when you were in diapers?

No, I only remember when I was peeing in my panties.