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What to get to a Wedding party 2010/3/10 17:30
Hi,

I will attend a really informal Wedding Party (not the ceremony itself, but the party of the newly weds, young, some internationals also coming, so not traditional Japanese) hold in a local restaurant.
But still it is a Wedding Party, so I wonder what is appropriate to bring with me (and my bf, who is also invited) for the Couple (British-Japanese).

Thanks in advance.
by shunima  

present? 2010/3/11 08:56
Do you mean as a present? I have attended quite a few of that kind of wedding party, and no-one brought presents. Usually you have to pay for your own dinner/lunch at those functions, so a present is not expected.
by Sira (guest) rate this post as useful

. 2010/3/11 10:24
Shunima,

I've attended a British wedding party at the newlywed's home where everyone brought presents, but here in Japan, you are basically not supposed to bring presents to the party, because they would be a burden for the busy host and hostess to take home. In Japan, if you wish to give wedding gifts, you should either send or bring them in advance to their home.

If you can tell us what kind of a special situation this is, perhaps someone can give you advise on what gifts to give.
by Uco (guest) rate this post as useful

wedding present 2010/3/11 14:48
If you are worried about it, you could bring a small gift and keep it in your purse, and then give it if you feel it is appropriate. I have been to casual wedding parties at izakaya where everyone brought gifts, and some where we all pitched in for one, but most of those the married couple didn't do the big ceremony, and we were all friends.
If they had the big wedding, they are probably not expecting anything.
by butabakamuchi (guest) rate this post as useful

thanks!! 2010/3/12 17:11
Thank you!
I'm used to bring wedding gifts to such parties, but the idea with the small gift in the purse is nice. maybe i can find sth which is nice and small.

it's not really a special situation, just an international couple who gets married - and want to have a party with some ald friends.
by shunima rate this post as useful

. 2010/3/13 02:01
Shunima,

You don't have to answer this, but I'm wondering if you are expected to pay anything at this party. For example, a lot of parties have a fixed fee that is collected at the reception.

If no fixed fee is collected and the guests are getting free food, that means the bride and bridegroom is spending all their money on the food.

In that case, giving either gift money or an item will be a nice gesture to compensate for the food you are getting.

I think the purse idea is nice, but others may have already given the gift in advance. You never know.

So if you end up being served free food yet no fee was collected, you can give them a gift either at the spot or send it later. At the party, try to ask other guests to see what they have done or are doing.

As for ideas, I think it can be anything. Pretty napkins, tiny saucers, photo frame, something from your country if you have any, anything is fine.

Hope you have fun!
by Uco (guest) rate this post as useful

thank you! 2010/3/15 12:44
So I will check before, but I think we pay our food ourselves, as it seems. As I said, it is informal :)

Okay, I think I can hand over some nice things I still have from my country.
by shunima rate this post as useful

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