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Japanese Marriage 2010/3/20 18:46
My situation is as follows:

I asked my Japanese girlfriend to marry on the White Day just pasted and she accepted!

We have been together for 2 years now (3 months of which had to be spent apart when I had to return to the UK)

I am 22 and my wife to be is 29. My parents are allready aware of the situation and are over the moon. My worry lies with my girlfriends family, her parents are very old fashioned and were wed through an arranged marriage.

I understand I am to ask the father for his daugter but im not sure on how things will go down, what with the age gap, neither of us being well off financially, and with me being white.

I have met her parents on only 2 occasions on which I was a "friend" although I think they figured.

I will be meeting with her parents in the next following weeks, I am normally a fairly confident and decisive person but I can honestly say ive never felt so nervous nor I have ever felt so "alien" to a culture I thought I knew rather well.

Obviously I have been speaking with my girlfriend about what to expect and she has given me a rundown of to what questions may come my way eg: will you make my daughter happy, plans for future etc.
But I would love to hear your opinions on my situation, maybe some of you have experienced something similar.

Thanks in advance
by Dan (guest)  

not just you 2010/3/22 22:11
There are quite a few discussion threads about this so you should do a search here on japan-guide.
by Tilt (guest) rate this post as useful

talk wih your girlfriend 2010/3/31 17:44
Your girlfriend will tell you what to do.

If her father is really old fashioned parson, he expect to have "YUINOU 結納" (exchange engagement presents in a customary ceremony). You can confirm her about that.
by Michogoo rate this post as useful

Re: Japanese Marriage 2010/4/1 21:43
Ask your fiancée for help to prepare the meeting and prepare the little speech you'll have to give. That's what I did when I married my Japanese wife. In my case her parents were very worried and even though I was 6 years older and had a good job. In all of this, just keep your head cool and don't get annoyed with them even if it takes a while for them to accept the marriage. Just show them how 'zen' you can be :-)
by Hoshisato rate this post as useful

meeting 2010/4/2 22:50
my in-laws are very traditional as well. While her father and I were both very nervous, our meeting went very well.
Have your fiance prepare your little speech where you ask for her and practice it before you meet her father. That will help. Also, be prepared to answer some questions from her father. But be polite & respectful and everything should go just fine.
by cf (guest) rate this post as useful

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