Dear visitor, if you know the answer to this question, please post it. Thank you!

Note that this thread has not been updated in a long time, and its content might not be up-to-date anymore.

wedding rings? 2010/4/3 06:19
Do married Japanese men usually wear wedding rings on their left ring finger, or is that only a western tradition?

Someone I know usually wears a ring on his left ring finger and the ring is big enough that it might cover his wedding ring, but I don't know whether or not he's actually wearing a wedding ring. Today, though, he wasn't wearing any rings at all. I wonder if Japanese men don't usually wear wedding rings even if they're married?
by raye (guest)  

depends on the person 2010/4/4 08:10
Some men wear wedding rings, some don't- it comes down to personal preference. My Japanese husband wears his ring all the time, but my brother-in-law doesn't, although I know he does have one.

This is no different really from other countries- my father (New Zealander) doesn't wear a wedding ring either, simply because he doesn't like to wear jewellery.

What is different is that women here don't always wear their wedding rings, whereas in English-speaking countries at least a married woman will pretty much always wear her ring.
by Sira (guest) rate this post as useful

Guys = Sometimes Girls = Never! 2010/4/5 13:22
To true, my father in law who is Japanese dosn't wear his wedding ring at all. Mostly from his work, the hard labor makes it so he dosn't want to get the ring scratched or dirty too much. As was stated before it's a preference thing for many diffrent people.

But yes 100% the previos poster is right about Japanese women not wearing there wedding rings as much as western girls. It drives me nuts! I ask my wife all the time to wear her wedding band but she see's no reason too. Excuses are "I want to keep it nice" "You don't have to worry about me other men don't come on to me or try to date me, so I don't need to wear it", and..being the western boy I am I feel a strong built in need to have my wife wear that damn thing! So the battle wages on ha ha. But yeah the guys..usually no rings. I have been told by others that it is to "Girly" so they don't want to wear it unless the ring is a cool ring or something like that..
by Bobby (guest) rate this post as useful

rings and culture 2010/4/5 16:56
I know what you mean, Bobby.

I actually put it down to a cultural difference rather than not wanting to appear too girly etc- in Japan I believe the idea of wedding rings was introduced relatively recently, whereas in western culture (and I think that in this case the generalisation is ok) the wedding ring has been around at least since ancient Roman times.

To me, and I think to most people in western countries, a wedding ring is not just decorative jewellery, it's an important symbol of commitment. Taking off your wedding ring for any length of time can actually be seen as a symbolic gesture, like saying that you are not married or don't want to be married. Here the ring just doesn't seem to carry the same symbolic weight.

I was surprised when I first came to Japan and noticed that my host mother didn't wear a wedding ring, and then noticed that many other married women here didn't either. In NZ all the married women I had ever known always wore their rings unless they were doing something that might have damaged them.

I realised that there was something very different about the perception of wedding rings here when a Japanese friend who got married at about the same time as me spent ages looking for the perfect ring, and then proceeded never to wear it after her wedding ceremony- she keeps it in a box on the shelf. Another Japanese friend told me that she had had a similar ring to mine, but she had lost it a few years after getting married...which she told me while laughing. Losing one's wedding ring is seen as quite a crisis in English-speaking countries, it's often the topic of episodes of TV dramas etc.

Since it does seem to be a cultural difference, I suppose those of us married to Japanese just have to accept the non-wearing of wedding rings as a cultural thing, and not read too much into it. I think it's a pity not to wear it though.
by Sira (guest) rate this post as useful

Oh, 2010/4/5 20:20
Wow, I didn't know that many Japanese wives don't wear their wedding rings.
I'm a Japanese housewife who wear my wedding ring always. Almost my married friends do, too.

Perhaps, it is because my friends and I don't have jobs or we are old fashion...?

Anyway, my husband doesn't wear wedding ring because he doesn't want to lose it.

(Sorry for my poor English)
by Yuriko (guest) rate this post as useful

rings 2010/4/6 16:00
Yes, Yuriko san, that many Japanese women don't wear their rings. As well as having plenty of Japanese friends, teaching English and yoga in Tokyo I meet a lot of Japanese people every day, and this is something I have paid attention to from time to time. I would say 50% or more of the married women I know don't wear their rings.

Your husband's reasons for not wanting to wear his ring is I think a bit strange to people from western countries. Of course he won't lose the ring if he doesn't wear it, but there doesn't seem much point in even having it if he doesn't wear it- the symbolism of it is not there if it's not worn.
by Sira (guest) rate this post as useful

Don't want to stick out 2010/4/7 14:04
My coworker got engaged while I lived in Japan and wore her engagement ring maybe 3 days. She may have worn her wedding ring on special occasions.

I had married a year previously and, being from the US, wore my band all the time. I asked her about not wearing her band.

She said she didn't wear it all the time out of the recognition that other friends and coworkers weren't married (and probably wanted to be), and she didn't want to flaunt her marital status in their face by wearing her band all the time. After having lived and worked there for a time, I could see how she would have felt that way, and maybe other women feel that way, too.

The only time I remove my wedding band is when I practice tea ceremony. Since you are not supposed to wear any jewelry or ostentatious kimono or clothing, wearing a wedding band is out. Also, we consider the fact that some of the tea ware may be very old and valuable, and we'd hate to clink any jewelry against the utensils and risk chipping or scratching it in any way.
by kyarinchan rate this post as useful

Thats Booboo! 2010/4/11 00:45
Guy and girls alike should be proud to wear their wedding rings! Its an everlasting sign of devotion, love and commitment to the other person! Buuuut I'm a hopeless romantic. I'm just being dramatic, but thats totally my take on it. I suppose you don't need a ring to prove your love. If you don't want to wear it on your hand, lots of teens where their loves rings on a necklace, though then it looks like the "o" ring. Hah.
by AnnaBun rate this post as useful

differences 2010/4/11 18:01
It's just a cultural difference, AnnaBun. People sometimes get very worked up because their Japanese spouses won't wear their rings, but really it's better not to insist and just accept that different cultures have different ways of thinking about things.
by Sira (guest) rate this post as useful

kids 2010/4/21 07:09
Some wear wedding rings, some don't. Nobody wears it on the ring finger by accident.

Yuriko, ever since having a kid, it doesn't make sense for my wife to wear her wedding ring unless she's going out to see friends. It's a practical issue you'll run into if you have toddlers to care for by yourself. But it shouldn't be surprising that your friends wear wedding rings when you see them. If they have young kids, some will not be wearing them in the house.
by sdbri rate this post as useful

rings 2010/4/21 08:44
For some people wedding rings may feel like they get in the way when they are taking care of children.

My mother never took her ring off once that I know of while raising the three of us though, and the same with her mother who raised four children, so it is not really a given that if you are looking after children you need to take the ring off.

It's always a personal decision whether to wear it or not.
by Sira (guest) rate this post as useful

Men and rings 2010/4/27 08:04
now days mnay young couples are wearing their wedding rings. however in the past many married men never had or just never wore their rings. I got married in Japan and my wife and I bought rings. it is and great way to show that you are married. where i was working the company was happy to employ me because i was married. they did not have to worry about me looking for or dating any of their students. it was a great help!
by awakomation rate this post as useful

there are 2 cultures, not 1 2010/4/29 23:58
Well, I also didn't realise that Japanese don't wear their wedding rings. But honestly, I never paid that much attention on it and I don't know many people who are married either.

But, and that is the point, if there is an international marriage, two different cultures crash into each other. If the ring is so important for the western people, what is so bad to wear it as a Japanese? So to say, if I would not wear it due to culture or habit, whatever, but my significant other has a strong feeling for the symbolism of wearing rings I would wear it. And I would expect the same from my significant other, because there are compromises you have to make. If I think I can live without the ring-stuff, then it's okay. But if I can't, my significant other has to make a compromise.
But honestly, when it is clear the rings are not worn after wedding, why spending so much money just for keeping them i a box out of sight? My opinion...
by shunima rate this post as useful

reply to this thread