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Opposite gender roommates? 2010/6/13 07:22
Hey, I am not sure if this had been asked before but I'm very curious about this. I even tried looking it up over the internet but could'nt find anything. Is it common in Japan to have opposite gender roommates without them being a couple nor married? Or will that effect one's reputation?

Thanks :]
by CuriousRenee (guest)  

why not? 2010/6/14 14:36
Typically in Japan, when a girl moves in with a guy, it means marriage, but times are changing. A warning though, even if you both might be cool with it as a non-conflict of interest, platonic or totally non-personal arrangement, his/her parents might have something to say about it, especially if they are intended to be the hoshonin (guarantor) . If thats the case simple meet the parents/guarantor(s) to show you're a legit roommate and you mean no harm.
I wouldn't worry about reputation because there's far worse going on out there.
by jmarkley rate this post as useful

. 2010/6/14 15:31
It is not common in Japan for Japanese people to have opposite gender roommates without them being a couple nor married, and it will effect one's reputation if they do. But it's more common in Japan for European or North American people to have opposite gender roommates without them being a couple nor married, and it will hardly effect their reputation. People would just think, "Okay they're gaikokujin."
by Uco (guest) rate this post as useful

very uncommon 2010/6/14 20:58
if they are not a couple then it is almost unheard of. if they are a couple then it is not so uncommon for younger people but they would not advertise the fact - not even to their parents. japan is a very don't ask don't tell society.

i am an australian male and shared with an australian female. when our neighbours found out we weren't married, they never spoke to us again.

it also took me quite a long time to explain to her japanese "suiter" that nothing was going on between us and that is was perfectly normal for westerners to share.
by rick (guest) rate this post as useful

My experiences 2010/6/19 04:48
I'm assuming you mean roommates in the North American sense (sharing a house/flat) rather than the British/Australian sense (sharing a room).

I shared a house with a female Japanese friend - and Japanese people seemed to find it quite odd - they couldn't quite understand the relationship. And she had to explain the setup very carefully when she got a boyfriend.

But I wouldn't have thought in modern Japan it would damage someone's reputation - except maybe with very conservative people - even if they did assume we were a couple.

Bear in mind though that the practice of house/flat sharing is uncommon in Japan - so most people are unfamiliar with the concept even if everyone is the same gender. (Most Japanese apartments are too small, and have too thin walls to be very suitable for sharing.)
by Komaba rate this post as useful

. 2010/6/19 17:38
Komamba wrote
"But I wouldn't have thought in modern Japan it would damage someone's reputation - except maybe with very conservative people - even if they did assume we were a couple."

Komamba was very successful. I have to say that, recently, I spotted a thread on a Japanese internet forum with the OP being an angry Japanese sweatheart of a person sharing rooms with someone of an opposite gender. The thread members were all supporting her.

Komamba also wrote;
"Bear in mind though that the practice of house/flat sharing is uncommon in Japan - so most people are unfamiliar with the concept even if everyone is the same gender."

Actually, although the practice is uncommon, the concept is now very well known under the word VFAnEX (share house). People would find an old house (not apartment) in the city and live together, gender-mixed. We see that all the time on TV, there are "trendy dramas" on it, and I actually knew a young man who did this.
by Uco (guest) rate this post as useful

. 2010/6/19 17:54
A little off topic, but I shared two different houses with two different Japanese people (same gender) before as well. As mentioned in both cases they were houses in Tokyo.

In this economy it is not difficult to find more Japanese people offering up extra rooms etc they might have.
by ExpressTrain (guest) rate this post as useful

they don't want a suspicion 2010/6/28 02:29
I think that having an opposite gender roommate in Japan is not so common unless they are a couple.

For example, I think that most Japanese girls simply prefer to have a boyfriend who lives by himself or if necessary lives with his parents or the same gender roommate. If she find the fact that her new boyfriend has an opposite gender roommate she would probably wonder why he needs that particular female roommate, especially when they are the similar age. Is there any special relationship between them? Couldnft he find a different roommate? Why did he choose her as a roommate? clike that.

Having an opposite gender roommate does not necessarily affect the reputation but if your new real girlfriend start asking why your roommate should be a female, you need to convince her so that she does not worry about you and your roommatefs relationship. But, isnft it too much trouble? I donft want to make extra effort to explain the issue that potentially complicates the relationship, so I would like to choose an opposite gender roommate if I need to have a roommate.
by kkww (guest) rate this post as useful

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