Depressed in Tokyo

I arrived in Tokyo 2 weeks ago and I am finding life here difficult. I guess it's what they call culture shock. The heat, the people, the sudden change in lifestyle (I was living alone in my own apartment and now I am in a guest room in a guesthouse). I'm here on a visitor's visa for 3 months. Nobody said it was going to be easy, but I am finding it lonely not being able to communicate. I know it will take time and I am going to intensive Japanese school.

I was wondering if there were therapists or doctors I could see about treating my depresion.

I know people are different, but there has been another person relatively recently who said he was lonely in Japan, and got some suggestions:
http://www.japan-guide.com/forum/quereadisplay.html?0+75607

Any extracullicular activities at the school you can participate in, or any friends you find at the language school, or people in the same guesthouse?

I know it must be a big shock and hard (so it was when I went to the US for the first time at age 13 with my family; I understood almost zero "real-life" English at all), but your interest in Japan and the language brought you here, I hope you will come to enjoy the time you've planned for yourself here. (Um, by the way, I must admit that the heat brings down locals' spirits as well, though....)

Tokyo English Life Line is a free English telephone counselling service- you can talk to their counsellors, or if you wish to see someone then they can point you to English speaking therapists. Here is their website:

http://www.telljp.com/

get out of your apartment and make some friends, staying inside will only make you feel worse. use the classifieds section of this forum to make some friends and meet up with them at cafes or whatever. you'll feel better pretty soon.

I have lived in several towns in several countries and it is normal to be nervous, insecure, worried at first. I spent lot of time at first exploring the neighbourhood then various areas of the town. This takes some of the stress away... in my case a couple of times I was looking for a job in a foreign language and country. Believe me, this was even more stressful than when I moved to a foreign town to study.

One trick that I did in each new town is to look for a cafe-snack place close to my "home" then go there at least once a day or even twice (morning, afternoon). Quickly --within days--the staff recognizes you and greets you when you come in. You can "chat" with them..with a mix of smiles, hand gestures, a bit of English or other language, a bit of the local language (Japanese in your case). It works wonders...

2 weeks is a very short time. Give yourself time.
Japanese people are very sociable and you will soon make friends. If it's gaijin friends you want, you will meet them through work or local gaijin bars.

DO NOT sit around in a 6 tatame mat room or you WILL feel down.

There is so much to do in japan. Getting outside and just walking around can be exciting..

Anyway, just take it easy and keep your chin up ;)

I'm embarrassed to ask this question but I don't think I'm the only one with these feelings initially. I'm afraid to enter clearly Japanese establishments. Noodle bars, sushi shops, onsens, everything not westernized. I've been in Tokyo for 2 weeks. Please note, I'm normally NOT this way in my home country. It's just that anybody who is even the least bit different (i.e. NON JAPANESE) in Japan is the subject of so much curiosity and sometimes negative attention, I find it all intimidating. I'm afraid of looking stupid since my Japanese skills are still so limited. I feel as if everyone is thinking ''Oh my god. Look at that stupid gaijin trying to eat Japanese style food! *ROLL EYES*'' Whereas in western style coffee shops, restaurants, and fast food joints, I have MUCH less fear about communicating in my broken Japanese with the salespeople because I feel more accepted there.

(Please don't be rude/mean and tell me to grow some balls. I used to be extremely shy, but I've overcome A LOT. However, this is the first time I'm in a foreign country alone where I don't speak the language.) I do want to overcome this...

How did you guys combat this silly initial fear?

I feel for you. If you have been feeling depresed for 2 weeks, it is a good idea to see a therapist. Did you try the site Sira posted? I would also suggest you to contact Canadian embassy to find groups of Canadian people living in Japan. You might find one nearby. You could try this site, too. It is normal to feel scared and/or awkward when you first came to a new place where you have little command of the local language. It would be easier once your school started and see people like you there. Please give yourself a time and try not to be hard on yourself.

Don't worry about people staring. They're just curious. As a gaijin you will be forgiven for many of your "goofs". Japanese people don't expect foreigners to fully understand every little eccentricity of Japanese culture.

So start small. If you love sushi, go into a local sushi bar and order some. If you've eaten it before you probably know the pronounciation of your favorite types. Get comfortable doing that, then when you are ready try a different type of restaurant.

Many restaurants have pictures on their menus so point at what you want the server will understand. (Though as a humorous side note this can have unexpected results. I tried that in a Yakitori restaurant and the pictures and the words were not matching up. I thought I was ordering chicken yakitori and wound up with what I can only describe as cartilege. It was....interesting. But as soon as I figured out that they had the pictures in reverse order to the words I was fine. I laughed about it alot later when telling my friends.)

And as others have written above, definitely get out, walk around and explore. There is so much to see and do in Tokyo.

My roommate left Japan and I was devastated for 2 days. My reaction was to speak to people. I went to Shibuya and met a Japanese man who spoke little English but enough to communicate. He showed me some parts of Tokyo and told me about his job, son and wife. A friendly and honest man. Then I went to Shinjuku and met 2 gay men. I talked about missing my friend and they helped me giving advice. I returned home so happy because I met these 3 people that I slept so well this evening and forget about missing my friend. I still miss my friend but in a different way now that does not interfere in my life. My depression was only 2 days(I know it is rediculous) and today I returned to my day-to-day life, studying Katakana, Hiragana, some Kanji, conjugation of verbs and building phrases and sometimes talking to people. That's my goal here in Tokyo and I may not lose this perspective. I hope I was any help for you.
EX-depressed Guy

Hi Soaringshrimp,

You don't have to "grow balls" and do things alone. Like others are saying, try to find a friend first, be it foreign or local, experienced or shy. With a friend, it would be a lot easier to enter places you couldn't.

Hey, my mom is from a generation in which she can do almost anything alone in any foreign country, but cannot enter restaurants and cinemas alone. We once made an appointment to meet up "at a bar". I was waiting for her in the bar the whole time until I had to catch my last train, so I paid my bill, went out the door and there she was standing alone right outside the door. She said, "How do you expect me to go through this door alone?!"

I travel around the world alone and there are just places where I would go back and forth the door and never be able to go in. The bars in Spain for one, and I would miss my lunch. I just can't imagine myself merging into all these old-time locals, while it's easy for me to enter one of those bars with a friend who could lead me. Don't tell me that Spanish bars are harmless. I know that, and I merge with old-time locals from time to time, but that's just how I am.

It's normal. Don't worry about it. Just try to talk to someone you CAN. Talk to the owner of your guesthouse, your teachers, the Life Line, anyone!