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Afraid of entering Japanese restaurants 2010/7/20 22:57
I'm embarrassed to ask this question but I don't think I'm the only one with these feelings initially. I'm afraid to enter clearly Japanese establishments. Noodle bars, sushi shops, onsens, everything not westernized. I've been in Tokyo for 2 weeks. Please note, I'm normally NOT this way in my home country. It's just that anybody who is even the least bit different (i.e. NON JAPANESE) in Japan is the subject of so much curiosity and sometimes negative attention, I find it all intimidating. I'm afraid of looking stupid since my Japanese skills are still so limited. I feel as if everyone is thinking ''Oh my god. Look at that stupid gaijin trying to eat Japanese style food! *ROLL EYES*'' Whereas in western style coffee shops, restaurants, and fast food joints, I have MUCH less fear about communicating in my broken Japanese with the salespeople because I feel more accepted there.
(Please don't be rude/mean and tell me to grow some balls. I used to be extremely shy, but I've overcome A LOT. However, this is the first time I'm in a foreign country alone where I don't speak the language.) I do want to overcome this...

How did you guys combat this silly initial fear?
by soaringshrimp  

... 2010/7/21 10:19
I think the main thing to consider is that most Japanese people, particularly in Tokyo, will not have a negative impression of a foreigner making a few small mistakes in etiquette at a restaurant, especially if it is not a fancy restaurant. Moreover, its unlikely that they'll give you too much thought. And if someone does notice you or seem a bit curious, its much more likely that they are interested in a friendly way than being critical of your table manners.

However, you do have to accept that you wont eat, drink and speak exactly like a Japanese person, and will occasionally commit some small faux pas. However, as long as youre acting with good intentions and following common sense, no one will consider you rude.

One thing that will make you feel more comfortable is having a bit of knowledge about general etiquette or table manners. You can find some information on the pages below;
http://www.japan-guide.com/e/e620.html
http://www.japan-guide.com/e/e2036.html
http://www.japan-guide.com/e/e2005.html

Since youve come all the way to Japan, it would be a shame to miss out on the variety of unique foods because of one's own feelings of hyper self-consciousness.
So go on and jump in, enjoy the food!
by Terminator2 rate this post as useful

take it easy on yourself 2010/7/21 11:03
You're definitely being a bit sensitive thinking that people are looking down on you or rolling their eyes at a foreigner trying to eat Japanese food. The people who even give you a second thought will most likely think it's great that you're trying Japanese food rather than going to McDonalds. In most cases staff here will try very hard to help you and not get frustrated- you are a customer after all. There may be some grumpy waiters/waitresses around, but they're in the minority.

I understand where you're coming from because I felt some hesitation to try different styles of restaurants etc when I first came to Japan, and I already spoke and read Japanese to a reasonable level!

You have only been here a couple of weeks, right? Don't expect too much of yourself. You don't have to try lots of new places right after arriving. Find a place you like and visit it a few times until you feel comfortable going there. Branch out later once you have settled in to Japan a bit more- you still have more than two months to go I think?

Take it easy in this heat- Japanese people and long-term residents also get a kind of summer lethargy called "natsu-bate" because the heat is draining- don't overdo it.
by Sira (guest) rate this post as useful

Been there, done that? 2010/7/22 01:19
I have been in Japan for 14 days. I went from Tokyo (I have a good friend there) and now in Osaka by myself. If you go to the popular areas you can ask for an english menu. I seriously have pointed at the pictures on the wall. I walked by a few places scared to go in, but after I went in, I was fine. I mean most places want your yen. Business is business.
I was scared at first on my own, but just go for it. If your really lucky they will want to practice english.
How long are you in Japan for?
I am here untill August 19th. SO e mail me directly if you want to talk about Japan.
by Travelman rate this post as useful

A memory 2010/7/22 08:34
soaringshrimp,

Let me tell you confidently that many many many...many people feel the same way. Your concern is honest and not a matter of balls.

Most of the Japanese you will meet working at restaurants will be able to assist you with ordering food and the others will be polite and do their best.

You are on an adventure and if you get fried tofu when you thought that you were ordering chicken; you take a moment to consider how foolish you personnally feel and then help yourself to the great dish of fried tofu you are served.

Relax. Enjoy the country and as someone else stated, it would be a shame to go all that way and not enjoy all the many foods.

Tenshi

P.S. Looking round and pointing to a great dish someone else was having worked for me.
by tenshinyc rate this post as useful

. 2010/7/22 12:07
If you have money most places would love you to eat there. Osaka is very friendly to foreigners. Enjoy!
by . (guest) rate this post as useful

Japanese feel the same way, too 2010/7/22 17:59
Every restaurant has its own atmosphere, not only in Japan but also elsewhere I believe. It will be a torture if you must eat out what you have ordered while realizing that you are not fit for the place. I, a middle-aged native Japanese male, often feel this way when trying to enter a local restaurant or bar while travelling alone on business. But never mind. You will never be outcasted simply because you are a foreigner. And if you are interested primarily not in the atmosphere but in food itself, there will be no problem. Enjoy Japanese food!
by ... (guest) rate this post as useful

Don't be! 2010/7/23 10:11
Being in a restaurant by yourself is intimidating enough no matter where you are in your country or anywhere else in particular! I can so much relate to that! But don't waste the chance to experience new food and atmosphere because you are shy or afraid of embarrassing yourself with table manners or being the only foreigner in the cafe/restaurant.

I love Japanese food, my first choice when I travel is Japanese food, anywhere, was it in South Africa, Thailand, Dubai, Italy. I always go to Japanese restaurants because I feel more safer there some how because I know almost all the dishes I like. However coming to Japan was no different for me since it is the homeland of the Japanese food.. little did I know that it was more complicated than I thought, it did not stop me from trying, sometime I would be the only woman in a restaurant late at night with no foreigners but me and few of old Japanese men, that made me feel weird at times but then I just try to make the best of it, keep smiling, don't show anyone that you are clueless about things, ask for English menu or a menu with pictures which some restaurants have, if they don't even offer that they will try their best to help you.

Bit by bit you'll get used to enjoying Japanese restaurants.

Though one more thing, if you want to go to an authentic sushi restaurant, it is best to find a Japanese friend who can go with you, this way you will enjoy it more. My friend invited me to a sushi bar and it was so much easier as he ordered all the course for me, it was fun trying new things and the chef was always putting something in my plate and going TRY THIS and they wait until I eat it and comment on it, it was so funny but really entertaining, I will never forget that experience.

So please, enjoy it, don't stress so much over it. Japanese people are so nice, if you think they staring at you or anything remember it is all about you not what other people think! :)
by Ayshasan rate this post as useful

Don't think too much 2010/7/23 20:32
I found that a quick way to get over the fear is to make the mistakes that you are afraid to make and get embarrassed once or twice. The fear should go away (.. Mmm I am not helping am I).

I just think that it is "abnormal" for me NOT to make some silly mistakes. It is normal for me to ask for helps.

Don't think too much about the consequence. The worse case would be that you get laughed by a bunch of strangers.

They are "strangers" and you probably won't see the same groups of people ever in your entire life. So try not to care too much.

Just to share you my story. The 1st time I was in Japan, I spent about 5 minutes trying to entre a bakery next to JR Akihabara. The automatic doors of the bakery just wouldn't open for me at all. I kept waving my hands and walked near & far, left to right but the doors just stayed closed.

There were A LOT of people staring at me. Finally a guy came up to help and pushed the button on the doors where it printed "PUSH". I was blindly assumed that the sensor was on top and didn't even look for the buttons. I was so embarrassed and yet couldn't help to laugh at myself.

Anyway, after than experience, all the minor embarrassments really are nothing compared to that one. So just relax, you won't be the funniest Gaijin in Tokyo. As long as you can open the restaurant doors under 5 minutes, you are already smarter than I am.
by Douglas (guest) rate this post as useful

thank you 2010/7/27 02:56
Hey everyone,

Thanks for all the words of encouragement and insight! I knew I couldn't have been alone in this. Everyone has to fumble along with varying levels of nervousness (depending on the person) when trying something new, but eventually they find their way. There IS a reason why you see more foreign faces in a McDonald's than the Japanese noodle restaurant next door. It's familiar and within our comfort zones.

Anyway, the same day I posted this I felt silly about the whole thing. I went into a gyoza shop and had a teishoku and LOL that was that! I felt so elated afterwards though! I just tell myself I'm being brave and I can handle whatever comes my way. The more I focus on the fear the more overwhelming the situation seems, so it really helps to just look at the situation from a logical standpoint.
by soaringshrimp rate this post as useful

Good for you! 2010/7/27 16:44

Well done on your food ordering success.
When I first came to Japan, I made a point of never going to places in the peak eating times.
If you eat lunch at 1.30 or 2 rather than 12-1, the crowds will be much less and the staff will have more time to be patient / help you out.

Also lots of restaurant staff esp. in chains are Chinese and Korean and can probably empathise.

Keep calm, smile and perservere :)
by girltokyo rate this post as useful

I have the same fear 2010/7/27 18:32
I have this same fear, so I can relate to your situation. I'm going to Tokyo for the second time next week and I'm trying to find out as much as I can about the restaurants and such that I want to go to(Also submitted a question about it here).

Last time I was there, I was with my girlfriend who doesn't really eat japanese food, so I couldn't experience all the nice things I had heard about.

What I can tell you though, is that if you leave Japan without trying out everything that this great country has to offer, you will regret it later on.
by Akseli (guest) rate this post as useful

I can really relate 2010/7/29 20:09
I felt the same way when i travelled to Tokyo alone. As a comfort, i can tell you that 9 out of 10 times i have been really happy about daring to enter those places.

The very few places who don't accept foreigners/non regulars will show that at once, and if you should be unlucky enough to enter into one of those places (unlikely as it is) just remember to not take it personally. If there is a menu displayed outside the restaurant, i've found that means they want to attract new customers.
by Sarah (guest) rate this post as useful

I have the same issue 2010/7/31 08:22
You aren't alone. Just yesterday I was about to enter an Udon shop in Kurume...One I'd already eaten in just a few days early. But yesterday it was packed, and more people were approaching the entrance as I arrived.

I almost turned around, but realized it would look even more weird if I did that.

Once inside, the only seat I could find was at a shared table with a bunch of salary men, slurping down their noodles.

The only thing I have going for me is that I've learned how to slurp fairly well, and I have a mobile phone, which I can fixate on completely anytime I feel uncomfortable.

I think that most traditional restaurants are hard to enter because they don't have the completely transparent front entrance ubiquitous in western restaurants. You have to go through the little curtain, and then slide open the opaque door, and of course the staff shout out their "irasshaimase" which feels like it's drawing even more attention to your arrival.

I guess I'm lucky in that I've never experienced any negative attention anywhere in Japan (that I'm aware of). Personally, I like being in the smaller towns better because I stand out so much, people are often more curious about me and surprised at my limited Japanese.

In Tokyo I feel like I'm the least skilled of the many expats wandering around, so the bar has been set higher.
by tobias (guest) rate this post as useful

don't be afraid!! 2010/8/1 06:46
don't be so afraid! think about all the great food you are missing! katsu curry, sashimi, gyoza, udon, etc etc!! i was nervous the first time i entered a Japanese restaurant too. but i have been to over 20 countries and Japan stands out as being the most most accommodating to the foreign traveller, especially one who makes an effort to communicate in Japanese. just dive in and accept the fact that you will make some mistakes and life will go on!! that is part of the fun of foreign travel right?? if you are that nervous start out at one of those curry shops where you order via a vending machine in the corner and hand the ticket to the staff. just don't go to mcdonalds!!!!! my biggest problem in Japan is figuring out WHERE to eat, so much good food and not enough time/money!!
by chris (guest) rate this post as useful

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