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which side the man walks on? 2010/11/22 04:25
i'm an american female in the united states and have been tutoring a japanese guy (who is here to learn english) for a while now. i have noticed that every time we walk, he almost immediately walks on my left-hand side. the first time this happened, he actually said to me, ''i'm sorry, but if i don't walk to your left i don't feel like you are really my friend.'' i don't speak japanese well at all, and his english is probably not good enough yet to be able to explain this to me very well.

now, i have learned that there is an old sort of chivalrous custom of the man walking street-side so as to protect the woman from oncoming traffic (or anything coming from the streets,) but i was led to believe this was western in origin.

oddly enough, i also know a chinese student who i was walking to class with one day who took the street-side position while walking with me. he said to me, ''i'm trying to act more western. i hear that this is the polite thing to do.''

i have never seen anyone do this in the united states, and i'm curious if it's custom in japan to do such, or if he read it in some guide book.
by maria fg  

personal experience 2010/11/22 10:41
I have no idea where the custom originated and where it is still commonly known or forgotten, but I (European) was told by my wife (Japanese) that the man is supposed to protect his woman by walking on the street side. It was a new concept to me.
by Uji rate this post as useful

chivalry 2010/11/22 12:30
Yes, the man walking on the street side seems more chivalrous, but then again I have heard nor seen anything that has such a rule set in stone.
Never paid too much attention to it, nor ruffled anyone's feathers walking on one side or the other...
Maybe it's an overblown interpretation of the man walking on the right during weddings, etc. and if your companion preferred not to, maybe was his way of saying he didn't want to make it look like you two were dating or something.
Strange...
by jmarkley rate this post as useful

not the norm in Japan 2010/11/22 14:47
Traditionally in Japan women walked behind men, not beside them, so I think you can be fairly sure that this is originally a European custom. I'm from New Zealand and had never heard of such a thing myself until my Dutch friend came to visit and insisted on always walking on the street side- he is from an old aristocratic family though and always trying to be especially chivalrous.

My Japanese husband has never wanted to walk on a particular side of me, so I would guess that this is something particular to the guy you are talking about, whether he's read it somewhere or just has a personal thing about sides to walk on.
by Sira (guest) rate this post as useful

customs 2010/11/22 15:02
Another European custom was that a man is supposed to go down some stairs in front of a woman. Is she trips and fall she will fall on his back rather than tumbling down the stairs.
On the way up stairs the man walk behind, to catch her if she falls back...
Unfortunately nowadays many woman would not like to have a man, even a friend, walking behind them...kind of mildly creepy..
by Red frog (guest) rate this post as useful

... 2010/11/22 15:17
This practice dates back to at least the 1600's in Europe.

As has been mentioned, the man walked on the curb side to protect women not only from physical dangers like an out-of-control horse and buggy, but also the possibility of dirt and water splashes due to a passing buggy.

Knowledge of "traditional" customs seems to fade (e.g., walking order when being seated at a restaurant) with every generation or change with new ideals.

In Japan, it seems to be most common for the male to be on the right and the female on the left (if holding hand, his left hand and her right hand).
There are different theories but one is that the female on the left side allows the male to use his strong hand (since most people are right-handed) freely. This is for both protecting and assisting the female.
by kyototrans rate this post as useful

habit 2010/11/22 19:52
maria fg,

It's natural to assume that your young friend simply has a unique habit, and what he is saying is a jokingly way of saying, "I'm not really comfortable in walking on the right-hand side of a person." At least I can say that in Japan, people often use the phrase "tomodachi janai (not my friend)" to jokingly exaggerate the way one feels uncomfortable about something.

Maybe he's one of those people who has the "I prefer to be filmed only from this side" habit or maybe he has slight hearing problems on only one of his ears like my friend does. Who knows?

That said, it is always the rule to keep whoever you need to protect on the side further from the traffic. This is not really chivalrous or old-school or anything. Here in Japan where sidewalks aren't always there, it's one of the most practical customs that exist.

For example, you should never keep your toddler on the traffic side, neither your elderlys, and women should keep their purses to the non-traffic side to avoid them from being snatched (which in fact, happens from time to time) and technically speaking, a guy is expected to keep the girl on the non-traffic side, because females are usually the ones carrying handbags.

In real life, a lot of people fail to do this, but it is indeed pretty much the rule as far as I'm concerned. And I'm the dumb parent who always forgot to keep my child on the correct side.
by Uco (guest) rate this post as useful

For protection 2010/11/24 20:19
This dates back hundreds of years to when the man would wish to keep his sword hand (usually right) free to draw his left-side worn sword to protect his lady. He would therefore walk on the lady's left.
by John (guest) rate this post as useful

no tradition 2010/11/29 11:05
After confirming with some J friends, none have heard of an "official" side a Japanese man walks on, regardless of European influences.

The only thing I was told was that in strict "teishu kampaku" marriages where the "man is king", the wife must walk 3 steps behind the husband. When I asked why 3 steps and not 5 or 2, I was told that 2 would have her giving her husband flat tires all day (I guess), and if 5 steps behind they might as well be strangers.
by jmarkley rate this post as useful

habits 2010/12/1 05:24
In my country (Romania), boys usually walk on the street side. Although with younger generations this is not very well known, my male friends (between 18 and 20+ years old) always walk on the street side when they are with a girl.

I see this as the polite and respectful thing to do.
by ozzi03 rate this post as useful

not custom 2011/1/18 02:04
I'm Japanese.

--- ''i'm sorry, but if i don't walk to your left i don't feel like you are really my friend.''

I don't know why he thinks so but it's not Japanese custom.

FYI, cars keep to the left in Japan.
by Akira (guest) rate this post as useful

women 2011/1/21 17:39
It seems there are very few customs in Japan to do with respecting women or putting women first.
In my experience they are all more to do with protecting or respecting the high ranking males of society which has now evolved into business culture to mean the boss.
I often try to open doors for women or let women go first out of habit but nobody else does and it often leads to more confusion.
We did have business etiquette training once... There are all sorts of unspoken rules about the priority of seating for a meeting (generally furthest from door is most senior), where to stand in a elevator (behind person pushing buttons is highest ranking position) and even a taxi (behind front passenger seat is highest ranking position, front passenger seat is lowest ranking I think)
But I dont think much chivalry towards women exists in japanese traditions...or does it?
by gilesdesign (guest) rate this post as useful

Here's the answer.... 2011/1/24 04:43
Since the middle 1800's, it has been the tradition in the US for the male to walk curb-side. The reason for this custom was to prevent the woman from receiving splashes from carriages passing by and bites on their shoulders from horses tied up to hitching posts on the streets. True story.
Unclear if this originated in the US, but it gave rise to the current practice, even if hitching posts and dirt roads btw sidewalks have become rare.
by pilot87178d rate this post as useful

... 2011/1/24 05:11
I actually find it a bit odd not many have heard of the custom before, not that I had officially been told about it, I did come across it in school classes (In Australia), and in old movies I was forced to watch as a kid.
My hubby and I have been together for 10 years now, and from day one he seemed to naturally take on the role of 'protective husband'. Walking curbside (no matter which side that is), opening doors and letting me go first. Very hard for someone so independant to handle! Although I do like the walking curbside one.
I asked him one day and he just shrugged and said it was what felt natural.
So I guess it comes down to alot of influences,, how your bought up, how nice of a person you are, what country your in, how you view the roles of male/female, etc.
He came form a family with a more than slightly chauvinistic (sp?) grandfather so maybe that was a influence for him?

Hope this helps!
by Imperfect rate this post as useful

Another Reason 2011/1/24 05:51
Maybe the custom goes back to the days when things (and liquids) were thrown from upper windows to the sewer running down the middle of the street! :-)
by Midnight99 rate this post as useful

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