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Does she like me? We both are girls. 2011/1/7 20:41
She is an Japanese exchange student at my university. When we first met, we hanged out but we didn't talk as much during the beginning of her arrival, but after about a month and a half, our friendship grew stronger really fast. Since that time, I feel as though I am developing mix feelings for her. Just to point out, I really like Japanese culture/language. We both teach each other the languages. Below, I will talk in detail of what gave me this idea that she likes me.

When we hang out with our friends, very often if I am sitting in a seat, she will either walk into the room, find me, and sit in my lap or finish talking to her friends, come over to where I am sitting, and she would casually sit in my lap. When this first started, I didn't mind because I am very comfortable around her. When she sits in my lap, sometimes she is playful with me. I'll be playful back to her. Other times, she would droop purposely in my lap and slide down as if sexually. I didnt have a reaction before but now Im starting to have one. Some of our friends notice our behavior and they have a confuse look on there face because at the time when she first started doing that, she had a boyfriend(american). He is also our friend. Me and him are very good friends. I also have a boyfriend. Me and my boyfriend recently met. Im getting to know him and Im developing feelings for him every time I think, talk, and hang out with him. Now, I don't think she is dating our friend any more but of course still friends with him. I don't want to ask her if she is still dating him because I feel as though she will feel uncomfortable. At times, she will become shy if something sexually comes up and she doesn't understand the meaning.

Another situation is when everytime when we are together, she always tries to hold my hand multiple times. It happens both in public and private. At times, I dont mind but when this happen when she was with her boyfriend during the time when I knew for sure that they were dating, she would still try to do it. At times, I feel as though Im getting stared at by him due to her during that.

When me and her hang out, we go to places to eat, study, party, and talk together. Im very sarcastic. She told me that every time she is with me, she cant stop laughing. I told her that shes funny too and cute when she messes up on saying a word wrong. She also makes fun of my Japanese. Recently we have been seeing each other alot this entire week. Before, I dont think we ever did that.

Another situation is that she said that she likes me in Japanese. While we were joking around about something, she slip into her sentence suki desu. Of course I heard that and she knows that I knew what the words mean. After she said that to me, she smiled. I smiled back at her and started to slightly giggle. After that we continued with our conversation. I didn't want to respond back to her that I like her too because Im not too sure of how strong those words are.

Now to clarify with these situations, I purposely do not try to come on to her. In fact, its the complete opposite. Can you guys give me your opinions about my situation? I just want to see if I am overthinking this matter or not.

by oXoBeatOfAngeloXo  

Go girl! 2011/1/8 02:25
Set sail and see where the wind will take you~
by P.T. (guest) rate this post as useful

let time develope 2011/1/8 06:18
I think she likes you!
Maybe she is bisexual...but as I heared Japanese girls tend to be akward when you will ask them directly or they even pretend they didn't understand.

Just take time and watch what happend!

Besides I have a best friend that is similar to that japanese like holding hands or hugging, lauching much and have fun! Besides I though I love her the feeling grow into deep friendship and trust!
by RxR (guest) rate this post as useful

WOW 2011/1/8 06:40
this is a confusing situation that your in. i dont know if you swing that way, but to me, it seems like you are starting to develop some unexpected for her as well. it almost seems to me like you both are soulmates! (sorry to say) Having fun with eachother everytime you guys hang out...seems like a best friend kind of deal. why not kiss her? maybe she will respond back that way! and please keep us posted
by B-RAD (guest) rate this post as useful

Japanese Girls 2011/1/8 08:20
In Japan, girls who are best friends commonly hold hands and sit in laps, etc. When I first moved to Japan, it really caught me by surprise when I went out somewhere with my friends (who were girls) and I am a girl, they would very often hold my hand or walk arm in arm. It sounds like she is extremely happy to have a best friend at her foreign university, and if you both have boyfriends I can imagine that would only make her more comfortable around you. I don't know the entirety of the "suki desu" thing, but you did say you were joking around. All I'm saying is it does not sound like unusual behavior to me, and if you accuse her of hitting on you, it might just embarrass her. If it really bothers you, you could talk to her about it, but I think it might just be a culture thing. If she tries to kiss you or something, that would be different, but the hand holding, etc does not sound strange to me for a Japanese best friend.
by ... (guest) rate this post as useful

Ditto 2011/1/8 09:10
As the above response said, doesn't seem particularly odd to me... Although I'm a guy in Japan so all I can do is notice the things in public.

However at the same time it's not uncommon for Japanese girls at my high school (I'm a high school exchange student...) to touch each other's breasts making jokes about it. There have also been times where they lift up each other's skirts exposing whatever is underneath. They even have done this while talking to me at times too.

In the US, probably not seen as acceptable really...

So yeah... I wouldn't say she is doing anything unexpected from what I have seen.
by DemonicDerek rate this post as useful

... 2011/1/8 09:33
welcome to the site by the way.

And this is very typical behavior in japan, so if she has a boyfriend and is holding your hand, you need to inform about about the culture difference. Probably he broke up with her because he thought she was bi or cheating or something...

But for any future boyfriends or weird stares, you can educate them.

Its really easy to be 'lesbian' and 'in the closet' in japan, because evern straight people hold hands with each other. You'd never know who was gay or lesbian unless you ask them directly. A lot of guys are feminine here and they aren't gay.

And if she said 'suki desu' maybe she is show affection for you as her best friend?

Because even my american best friend tells me she loves me. She's engaged. Im also american.
by Reina Jess rate this post as useful

... 2011/1/8 13:17
Only way to find out. Kiss her and see what happens.

But seriously, like the others have said it's not uncommon behaviour in Japan. That doesn't mean she doesn't like you more than friends though, so you're going to talk to her about it. Or better yet follow my original advice. ;)
by DrewS010 rate this post as useful

My opinion 2011/1/8 15:15
As i remember my girlfriend told me that in Japan they can say " suki desu" to friends and girl/boyfriend its just the same they just differ on the way they say it.
I had the samr situation before. Im gay and i thought this japanese girl like me in a sweet way so i ask her if she does, i make it a point not to freak her out cause im not yet familiar with their culture so i said i like her in a vert special way, weird way, much more than friends so she said sorry but i just see you as a friend but i didnt give up and after 2 months she finally said yes. So we are still together until now and just had our 1sy year.
Ask her personally about it and you'll get the answers you need. But be careful not to freak her out. I think ill be much better if you ask yourself first if you're really into her cause if not i'd say just let everything slip away and avoid the chances of her or you being embarass and you can also avoid the chances of losing a sweet friend. Ganbatte!
by Zanjoe (guest) rate this post as useful

uncommon 2011/1/8 23:34
I wonder why many people say that this kind of behaviour is not particularly odd in Japan. I've lived in Japan for several years and I still have many female Japanese friends. I've never witness any kind of behaviour like that! Even very close friends don't hug or something like that. Although I've seen some females holding hands before, but the respond from my other Japanese friends were that they are obviously gay!
by Hotel (guest) rate this post as useful

...... 2011/1/9 09:58
well how old are they. i certainly dont think the obaachan generation did it. and my older friends who are like 30 or older dont do that as well. But the high school students and early college years type girls do still , do that. and i think they probably calm down sometime before graduation.

regardless of whether the chick likes you or not, you should just let it go and keep her as a close friend. or best friend with benefits if you wanna act on something.

anyway she's going back to japan. and i doubt a long distance relationship would really work out. Better to keep her as a good friend who you can visit and stay with if you come to japan.

besides, she propbably still live with her family, she dont get to make her own decisions until she got her own place far away from them. maybe. They arent gonna accept a lesbian relationship, and they probably already got somebody picked out for her to marry. or will nag her for years until she does get married.
by Reina Jess rate this post as useful

age changes the games 2011/1/9 19:12
Reina Jess is totally right. Age makes a big difference! When was growing up (in Europe) it was quite common for teens to hug a lot and be (very mildly) intimate with same sex friends. In those days-- and even now to a point--parents discouraged intimacy between opposite sex teens, for very obvious reasons, but turned a blind eye to same sex crushes.
But when one turned 18-19 ..these "special friendships" stopped....thought people often kept an adult friendship with one another.

The OP shouldn't get her hopes up and should be careful..
One of the guys in school ran in some guys that he barely knew but wanted much more than just a hug, and absolutely refused to take no for an answer. It was VERY uncomfortable and unpleasant for him.
by Monkey see (guest) rate this post as useful

Thanks guys for your opinions 2011/1/10 04:58
Thanks for letting me know what you guys thought. Actually, I was having very mix strong feelings. I figured that we are close friends so I ask her just recently. I didnt have a plan to ask her about it. It just happen. Of course, I was nervous lol. It felt like I was confessing my love for her lol. First, we went to eat. We were talking about my boyfriend and places that me and him should go. At the time, I didnt want to talk about the topic of my relationship with her because I thought she would become upset or jealous. But that topic lead us to me wanting to ask her the question. We made a game out of it. We got to ask each other a question and we had to answer it. We went back to my place since it was private. I didnt ask her if she like me. Instead I said the way she was acting towards me and her gestures was if she liked me. I told her that I was having mix feelings and I wanted to straighten them out. Of course both us were blushing of the thought of us being together but it turns out that she just really likes me as a close friend. Im really glad that we cleared it up because if we didnt, Im not sure what would have happen. After that part of the conversation, we talked about what would be accepted over in Japan as casual things compared to over here. That same night, we went out with some friends. She casually hooked her two fingers with mines while we were walking. She told me that its very common in Japan that girls who are close friends to hold hands. After this, I feel as though our friendship became even stronger and closer if that possible since before we were close lol. Thanks for the comments^^
by oXoBeatOfAngeloXo rate this post as useful

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