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J guy-how do i know you like me? 2011/1/16 21:40
I know a J Guy for nearly 2 years and we're friends and I think I like him but I'd like to know whether he's interested in me. He said nothing unless he'd be happy if I have a good ability of Japanese so I'm taking a Japanese course and he knows this. (I remember at first he said he'd like to improve his English. However, at the moment, we use both languages in our conversations.)

In general, what does J Guys do when he likes or is interested in a woman? I heard that some J guy doesn't say or show his feeling so in case how does his woman know?

Help me please. Thanks.
by Esoup  

EASY 2011/1/19 08:18
if i was confuse about a girl liking me or not, and really wanted to know...i would just ask them! this way things clear up and i know that i shouldnt waste my time...and just stay friends!
by b-rad (guest) rate this post as useful

well...through internet? 2011/1/19 15:15
You know the guy through internet or real?

In any case j-guys are really like shy shell and doesnt talk about feelings (there are some exceptions)

But usually I think if a guy is interested he tells you some side "hints" like "you are pretty" or what ever else.

but ask him straight if he has GF! If not you can ask him if he likes japanese over foreiggner girl ;) just simple method to check out the guy...
by RxR (guest) rate this post as useful

Compliments 2011/1/19 16:58
I think Japanese guys usually only compliment girls that they have romantic interest with. So I guess that would be one of the signs you could look for.
by Alex Shih rate this post as useful

... 2011/1/20 03:24
As I know from my direct experience and other friends live in Japan. I think Japanese guys will show a strong interested and sign to the girl they love. Men are same in this world. They will show that they love when they found one.

Firstly you may be going out as friends, but when they feel you more than friend. They will say "Tsuki atte kudasai" or can you be my gf? something... They really say directly (no any clue as somebody understand they are shy or what)

I think OP's case, he thinks you as friend. Nothing special at all. My Japanese guy friend always contact and help me a lot or even send "kiss" incon with mail in spite he has got a gf. I think in Japan socity, friend is more value than gf/bf.

So I advise you to be good and keep contact with him and see what the response from him. Don't say how you feel until you are sure he will be confess you first. Good luck!

Sorry for my bad English!
by PS (guest) rate this post as useful

Thanks a lot but still wonder 2011/1/21 23:05
"you are pretty"

Yes, he said it long ago and again yesterday after reading sad novel and he still 'in' the novel so I tried to make him laugh. I talked to him something and sent him my photo. He said he smiled after looking at my photo and thank to me so I think this can be something like.. a Japanese manner.

I sometimes would like to ask him directly but there's some condition that I couldn't ask him. One reason I'm afraid to ask him is 'what if he just think that I'm his friend'.

What I wonder now is how's the different between his friend and his special girl about things he does to her? Something like .. he will never done this/that/those with his girlfriend but with general friend, he does it. (Sorry if my language is hard to understand)
by Esoup rate this post as useful

So lucky 2011/1/22 02:45
Go out anywhere with ur bibi, Me and my baby gonna travel to Asian Winter games 2011, support our guys, we both wanna get mary:)
by geronimotima rate this post as useful

difficult... 2011/1/22 04:40
I think long distance relation ship isn't something so funny at all. Cause onetime you fell in love or if you think you like him...maybe thats just because you are usally talking with him every or any days in a week?!
If he would like you a lot he would tell you that somehow...maybe through mail ?

"You're pretty" is a true statement from him! Cause usally if a j-boy finds ur pretty he says it without hestiating! If he tells you more of this kind...he maybe likes you! :)

but be aware...you dont have met him?!!!...so its really hard to tell him to like him in this special way!

but good look to find it out!!
by RxR (guest) rate this post as useful

how to tell 2011/1/22 22:57
With my Japanese husband knowing that he liked me was no different than with any other guy I've ever been involved with of any nationality- I knew because he asked me out.
by Sira (guest) rate this post as useful

More questions 2011/1/23 04:06
First question :

At first, he'd like to learn English then one year later he'd like me to be able to speak Japanese. I tried to do so but my Japanese that time was worst so I wrote English then(one year and a half) he said he'd like me to speak Japanese well because it seems difficult for him to improve his English because he doesn't have much time so I decided to speak totally Japanese by using a book. At the second time, my Japanese worked better but he said he prefered to use both language which means my Japanese is still a bit hard to understand. Here is where I am(with him).

At the seventh month, he said he'd like to meet me but I denied because of some reasons and later I talked to him about his visitation to my country. He said he might not be able to communicate with me happily. Later, he started to take a conversation class.

Is this called a serious friendship? I mean is this shown that he's serious with me?

Thanks a lot for all of your answers. They are really helpful for me who's like a blind :)

The second question :

Is it normal for Japanese man to be asked something personally/internal by a woman such as his marriage status or so on. As you know it's our second-third years.

The third question :

Do you have any ideas of when should I talk to him about our first time of meeting. We both are not teenagers so we run things carefully.

by Esoup rate this post as useful

My own experience 2011/2/25 14:56
I read your story and couldn't help writing an answer to tell you about my own experience.

I had a j-friend for something like 1 year and a half, talking to each other by messages, mails and skype almost everyday, thus before even meeting each other.
He wouldtell me that i was beautiful, he would contact me when things were wrong in his life,he would ask me when i could go to japan.
He also asked me things like ''do you like me?''- which meant for him ''do you have romantic feelings for me?''

He would also complain about not being able to meet each other.

Your story sounds in some way very similar to mine in the relationship terms...
I mean, if he contacts you for trashy things such as ''he read a sad novel and feels sad'' and keeps talking about the way he feels on everyday life, it's definitely MORE than a simple relationship.
A j-guy would probably tell you he's feeling sad because of a novel, but then move on to another topic or even just stop the message at this point an say ''ok, anyway, take care and see you later !''
But if he's spending much of his time contacting you, talking to you, skyping with you (- the skype thing is really to be considered), then it's almost sure he has romantic feelings for you.

I used to try to figure out the real motivation of my ''friend'' by asking him, in the middle of a conversation ''btw, what's your type of girl? :D Come on, i'm your friend, you can tell it to me''.
So you can try doing the same: then he will tell you about it. You can also ask if he likes gaijins (foreigners) if he doesn't mention it.

When i did that to my friend, he used to say ''he like japanese girls and gaijins too...'' blablabla....

In short: i have the feeling that this guy is probably interested in you but a japanese guy who's falling for a foreign girl he doesn't really know will hardly confess because he knows it's a very complicated situation.

For my part, after a year and something, he confessed....After a year and a half, we met, as very close friends....then started a relationship. There's been 2 years and a half now ;)

What i mean is: this is worth asking more questions to him, especially if you guys feel comfortable with each other.;)

Good luck
by Momo (guest) rate this post as useful

. 2011/2/25 17:30
He said he might not be able to communicate with me happily. Later, he started to take a conversation class.

This is very recognizable. Me and my Japanese bf started out as penpals as well, and we had over a year and a half of communication before we were able to meet. Before our meeting, it was him who fell for me first (he says), and I followed after about 8 months of communication. I just started realizing that I was crazy about this guy and if the communication stopped for any reason, I'd be heartbroken. Then there were hints being thrown around, but I proceeded very carefully, and eventually it all culminated into him confessing and me confessing as well.

Anyway, he was very insecure about his spoken English (not so much his written English), so it took a while before I could get him to have a phone call with me, even though we had already sent each other videos about ourselves and our daily lives. He also said that he was afraid he would "not be able to communicate with me happily" in English. It made me nervous as well, because a huge communication problem with someone you feel romantic feelings for, is not what you want to have. But we had that phone call and video chat later, and it was more than fine. His English is much better than he thinks it is.
He also follows an English conversation class right now, and I'm taking Japanese lessons.

Oh yeah, when we met, sparks flew immediately. We are now in a LDR but I hope to change that in the future. :)
by beev (guest) rate this post as useful

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