MomotaroPeachBoy,
In order to know how much money is being "spent," the best thing you can do is to check your kotatsu' manual and make a calculation. Or you can contact the kotatsu maker and let them do that for you.
But if you want to know if it uses up a lot of energy or not, I think it depends on what you compare it with and how you use them. Kotatsu uses energy, of course, but so does wall-type airconditioners and stand-up style heaters.
For example, kotatsu only warms one part of the room and just half of your body, but the human body is made so that as long as your legs are warm you need not warm the upper part of your body so much. In other words, by using kotatsu you might be able to get more comfort with less energy, depending on what you find comfortable.
Also, you can save energy by using a thick cover as well as a decent mat between the floor. The amount of energy/money used depends on how you set the temperture knob as well.
By the way, the downside of kotatsu is that it makes you not want to move out of it any more.
At least, I know for sure that our kotatsu saves a lot money than our gas floor-heating, because my son used the floor-heating so much last month that it blew our bills, so my husband gave him a warning, and now he's turned up the electric air-conditioner instead!
Well, so much for that, and let's turn to your family. Keeping the kotatsu on when noone's using it is indeed a waste of energy.
Are you asking them to turn it off the minute they go into bed?
Are you making them pay for what they are wasting?
Have you considered taking the kotatsu out of their bedroom?
By doing so, your family will physically remember that it is "uncomfortable" and "inconvenient" for them to forget to turn off the switch.
Or are you using automatic timers and other devices that will free you from relying on human memories?
For example, we have a big TV in our living room, but we also have portable ones. Those who wish to watch TV in bed uses the portable ones, and then you can turn them off easily without getting out of bed.
When your tub is empty, do you have your tub fully covered only leaving the spot below your faucet? Then you wouldn't have to worry so much about the heat running away.
Here are a couple of things to turn your tub water off at a certain level. If you go to a DIY shop, you might find more.
http://www.sessui-club.com/home/hv-83m.htmhttp://store.shopping.yahoo.co.jp/ayahadio/4973987840012.html
Finally, are you asking them to correct one mistake at a time? Because if you ask for a lot of things at once, these kind of people tend to get their minds go blank. You need to ask them to correct only one thing, and then when you feel that it's finally accomplished, you can move on to the next.
Meantime, you need to make it your habit and routine to check everything the minute they make a move, and frankly I don't see why you can't do it when you're at home most of the time.
Lastly, may I suggest you to consult your ward office or city hall to see if you can hire a non-profit interpreter to accompany you to any non-profit gathering for people with ADHD or the like. I attended one of them and the people gave me great tips to make our life easier.
Saving money, I'm sure, is important to you, but saving energy is important to all of us who live on this aging planet. Good luck.