Rude to give kimono back to gift-giver?

I am taking koto (Japanese zither) lessons from a very kind old lady. She is also the head of a koto playing organization, and I am a member of this organization.

Because my sensei is getting older, she is concerned about the future of her koto organization once she passes away. She feels that I have talent, and she wants me to become a more serious and professional player. She gave me a kimono as a gift in order to encourage me to find more opportunities to play for the public and perhaps even teach koto to others.

While I enjoy playing the koto, it is just a hobby for me, and I do not intend to make it a career. I will also be moving away from the area in a couple of years and don't know if I will continue playing the koto regularly after I leave.

My question is: once it's time for me to move away, would it be rude for me to donate the kimono back to her koto organization so that other members may wear it? I don't want to be greedy and keep the kimono if I don't intend to wear it in the future, but at the same time, I don't want to seem as if I am rejecting her or her gift. I am also afraid that by returning her kimono, she will be sad about the fact that I don't intend to keep playing the koto in the future.

Any thoughts or advice for me? Thanks in advance!

You have received the greatest honor she could give. It would be extremely rude to give it back. Why learn it if you don:t plan to play for others? Such a waste. Please reconsider.

Would you be wearing the kimono for the remainder of your stay in that area as you follow her lessons? Would there be some opportunities for you to wear it at a public (or the organization's) concert? And when you say you will be moving away from the area, are you moving out of Japan?

My thoughts are that if you are not going to pursue it further, it might be better to break the news to her gently and return the kimono as soon as possible, particularly if she made her intention (of encouragement) clear upon giving you the kimono. You can tell her you've thought about it, but that it is not really your idea to pursue any professional career with koto, thus you don't deserve the kimono, though you felt honored.

It would disappoint the lady, of course, but I thought it might be better than you wearing it to classes, possibly even at the organization's public session for a while, in other words, get her expectations up for a while, then say at the end of a few years you tell her that you don't need it anymore, good luck and good bye. Unless, that is, when the time you move away approaches, you make it sound like such a sudden decision, even unexpected on your part as well..

If you let her know of your future intentions soon, then she might have the time (and the mind) to accept that, and maybe look for other candidates among her students.

One excuse, if you are moving out of the country, is to say that it would be extremely difficult to care for the kimono once you leave Japan (which is true).

My thought is that if your thoughts are firm, it might be better to let her know, and also return the kimono, as you cannot honor her wishes, though they are appreciated. Or maybe, maybe, over the next couple of years, you might change your mind :)

Orchid,

I know exactly what you mean. I am in a similar position, except that I am Japanese and apparently a permanent resident here. The best thing to do is to discuss it with your senpai students, hopefully someone you feel comfortable talking to.

I also basically agree with AK. If she still insists on you having the kimono despite all those reasons, I think you should just have it and take good care of it. Maybe she just wants to utilize her old clothing. You never know. Then if she offers you to become Natori or whatever higher status, be sure you politely and firmly reject it.

Maintaining the organization is the biggest task for the head person of a traditional Japanese instrument class. That's what they work hard for, dealing with us beginners who play tunes in often unbearable tones. So it's basically the students' obligation to contribute to that.

But modern teachers will understand that not everybody wants to become professional performers or teachers. The point is to let them know you're one of them. And I know that you know that becoming Natori is not just about "playing for others."

On the other hand, I'm sure she is giving you all these offers because she thinks you can handle it. Maybe going on stage regularly and spending money on it is not a bad idea once you start doing it, and you don't really have to teach unless you become much better. Again, ask senpai as it depends on the organization.