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Divorced, with a kid 2012/3/16 05:39
I never thought I would ever write anything about my personal life but I'm desperate for help and advice!

In short, got divorced from my jp wife, we have a kid which she is keeping, we live in different countries and we have different nationalities.

I've been supporting her financially every month, I've been contacting her via email and try to be as nice as possible, but she is being not very nice!

I want to to be with my kid, but she doesn't want this to happen.... Should I take this to court?
Advice please..
by Be-active (guest)  

Re: Divorced, with a kid 2012/3/16 11:07
very short answer: If she is not being cooperative at all, there is little other choice left than going to court. But as we all know, the chances of the judges deciding in favor of the ex-husband are close to inexistent.
by asdf (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Divorced, with a kid 2012/3/16 13:53
Also, because Japan has not yet signed the Hague convention, if she doesn't want you to see your child, there is not much you can do.

Even courts in your own country or in Japan will not probably help you. Embassies seem to be useless in these cases too.
by Kodama (guest) rate this post as useful

... 2012/3/16 17:45
Sorry to hear about your situation.

I have no first hand experience however, unfortunately, whenever I read these stories the answer tends to be that you basically have no power and if she decides that she doesn't want you to have contact with the kids, then you will have very little chance of having contact with the kids. Going to court will make little difference as even if you win it is difficult to get the court orders enforced.

You may wish to visit this website which also has many cases of "abduction" of children, probably more extreme than your situation but the end result tends to be the same.


Good luck
by GC3 rate this post as useful

Re: Divorced, with a kid 2012/3/17 16:32
I understand where you are coming from my wife kept my kids from me for 15 years and I could do nothing about it I fought in courts and she was such a liar and they believed everything she said. My only advice is that if she is old enough to remember you then more than likely she will find you sometime in her life as my daughters did. I wouldn't send more money than necessary, do to the fact she sound like she used you for a pay check and when your child is old enough to decipher right from wrong then your ex-wife might not have the good standings with your child as you will at the end of 18 years.
I cut my wife off totally and my daughters and I were reunited after 15 years, I do think that your situation is a lot different since you are in different countries things could be harder on you in a custody battle. I don't know how old your child is but you might want to count your losses and wait till the child is old enough to make it's own mind up.I think that your odds are very good in seeing your child and your ex isn't going to look very good for keeping him or her from you, for all the time that she has I feel for her in the end.
by kingkewl rate this post as useful

Re: Divorced, with a kid 2012/3/17 17:42
This is unbelievable! Howcome suck rule still exist till today! I appreciate all the advices and comments. Thank you.
by be-active (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Divorced, with a kid 2012/3/19 10:37
I agree that you have no reason to financially support her when she is not cooperating with your wishes at all. She seems to be just sucking the money out of you. Maybe by cutting the money flow, she will think differently.

If that doesn't help. At least you'll not be hurt on the financial side as well as on emotional side. And then you can only hope that your child will seek you out later in life.
by Kodama (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Divorced, with a kid 2012/3/29 12:49
I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I faced it for a few months also, so I know the pain and anguish you feel.

I personally would look at it in another way. Is paying for the upkeep for your child the right thing to do or not? You can give enough that it supports the child and not the mother, but how will you answer your child when you tell her later that you cut the money off from her? We will all answer for our actions and even when someone is being bad to us, they will get the karma back eventually.

Have faith and patience. Why does a mother think keeping the child away from the father will benefit her child? She is hurting her own child, so it shows how selfish she is. Your child will realize this too.

From my understanding, Japan signed something recently or is looking into these types of cases, so hopefully you at least get a chance to visit.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.
by openmind rate this post as useful

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