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no gifts wedding? 2012/3/23 15:41
Hi everyone,
I have a couple of questions about wedding gifts and etiquette. My fiance and I run a small eikaiwa school and have around 70 students. Many of them have been with us from the start and it is a friendly, homely atmosphere.
This summer, we are having our wedding ceremony in The UK. Our students are delighted about the news and I was wondering what to do if we get gifts, especially cash gifts. From what I understand we would be expected to buy a kind of return gift for each person. I don't know much about this though. If anyone else has been in this situation I'd love to hear your experiences. When my friend got married, they said "no gifts please" so they didn't have to worry about return gifts etc. What have others done? None of the students are coming to the wedding as it is only a very small affair, family only .
I' d just like to be prepared , so would be grateful for any information. Please share your stories!

by peony (guest)  

Re: no gifts wedding? 2012/3/23 21:18

It is unlikely that a student will give you cash when (s)he is not even attending the ceremony/banquette, so don't worry about it.

But I can imagine a possibility of some people giving you either small gifts individually or a large one as a group if they feel you are very close. Either way, you are expected to later give in return a happy-looking gift worth less than half the value of the orignal gift.

In other words, if a student gives you something worth 500 yen, you don't have to give anything back. If it's worth 1000 yen, maybe you can share a box of sweets or something.

You can also ask for advise at your local department store, once you receive some kind of a gift.

Here are some details although in Japanese.
by Uco rate this post as useful

Re: no gifts wedding? 2012/3/23 21:38
hi Uco,
thanks for your answer and link, very useful. You say we probably won't get gifts of cash, but let's just imagine we do get one or two, would the same rule apply? ie a return gift of less than half the value of the original gift?
(We have had cash gifts before: when we moved house and also around the end of the year).

I was also thinking about bringing back something a little bit more special as a souvenir this year, rather than chocolates, I was thinking about getting some traditional,handmade lace handkerchieves with initials sewn on them . Would they be acceptable as a return gift?

thanks !

by peony (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: no gifts wedding? 2012/3/23 22:46
Yes, just as the link says, the same rule applies for large amount of cash and I think your ideas are great. Of course, if you are inviting them to a feast, that will work as the return gift. You are expected to give items back only if you have nothing else to pay back with.
by Uco rate this post as useful

Re: no gifts wedding? 2012/3/24 08:44
thanks Uco!
by peony (guest) rate this post as useful

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