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Is it Yes or No (confused)? 2012/5/27 03:13
I met this Japanese girl and got her number, I asked for her facebook account too, she said I can search for her on the group page, but I couldn't find her, and she said group name changed, and I search again, still could not find her, so I just gave up. ( and I heard that Japanese ppl never said no).
when I text her, she always text me back, no matter it is 1 or 2am in the morning , but just has at least half hour delay always.
then I text her again, asked her if she wants to go out for a drink some time, she said sure, but is so busy these days. What does she really mean?? Did she really mean it or just being nice?? I heard that Japanese girls never said NO.
by ninenine (guest)  

Re: Is it Yes or No (confused)? 2012/5/27 10:43
Hi, ninenine

As a typical native japanese, I can explain to you why such a friction happens. I'm really worried about this type of cultural frictions.

It only means that she is "reluctant" to communicating with you. In some cases, she might be tired in her daily job, and want to sleep rather than talking with you. If you see such a reaction, simply take it as "saying NO." Some clever Japenese girls will say "anytime" when she wants to say no, so that she can refuse your offer without making you get angry. Their such reactions do NOT mean that you have been accepted by her as a personal friend. Also, don't forget that if she is really busy in her daily job, she might have to work until late night hours even at her home (called "zangyo"). For busy people, talking with you will be something of less priority.

When you see the same reaction, stop bothering her. Don't nose through her personal life. Some Japanese girls doesn't know even how to refuse another person's offer. When they wants to refuse your offer, they will be very frustrated with how to find a better words to say NO.

Anyway, finding another girl will be better for you.

If you have another question, ask me freely.
Enjoy japanese life!
by dosanko100 rate this post as useful

Re: Is it Yes or No (confused)? 2012/5/28 21:19
In general, some Japanese women have strong cautiousness against men regardless his nationality. Now she may be gathering the information about you through the communication by e-mail. She may be thinking whether you are safe or not. Therefore, please keep getting in touch with her and give her your information showing your personality and character. But you shouldnft call her and send e-mail a lot because she may think you are a stalker. Your relationship is not deep yet. She is just friend, not girlfriend. You can open new relationship to other women keeping the relationship to her.
by Tohgetu rate this post as useful

Re: Is it Yes or No (confused)? 2012/5/29 18:12
I'm not familiar with Japanese dating but in general if I receive mixed signals like that I will back off. Give her some space and let her sort out her thoughts. If she come back you can consider warming up that relationship a little. If not, maybe better off find someone who will actually give you clearer indications. Best wishes
by LBSA rate this post as useful

Re: Is it Yes or No (confused)? 2012/5/29 19:40
The general impresssion I get is a "no." What is the impression you are getting?

She doesn't help you find her on Facebook, right? One thing - does it occur to you that she may keep her mobile turned on all through the night, and that your text might be waking her up? No wonder there is a delay of "half hour" :) I even think she is polite that she answers at all... If you want to know for sure, make a specific suggestion, I mean a real one, telling her that you and a few other friends are getting together for some drinks on such and such date and asking her if she wants to join. I'm sorry but If you ask if she wants to "go for a drink some time," that lacks enthusiasm too, so why should she sound interested anyway?
by ... (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Is it Yes or No (confused)? 2012/6/1 21:38

quick update: she asked me if I want to go to the Japanese sweet cake workshop this Sat, she is gonna be the teacher, so what do you think now??
by ninenine (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Is it Yes or No (confused)? 2012/6/1 23:21
Why r u asking us? Only she can answer ur questions so man up and ask her
by Sushi (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Is it Yes or No (confused)? 2012/6/3 13:26

update: I have been to the workshop, but was half an hour late, I text her 10 mins before it started, telling her that I might be late. during the event, she kinda ignored me, paid attention to everyone else but me, after the event and most of other people left, she started to talk to me a little, and said sorry that she didnt talk to me. I stayed for a while then left, she asked me to come for the group movie next tuesday....
what do you guys think now ??
by ninenine (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Is it Yes or No (confused)? 2012/6/3 22:28
I think you should just go to the movie with the group if you want to, and see how it goes. Stop obsessing about whether she wants to date you and enjoy her company as a friend for the time being.

She may have invited you only so that you don't feel left out, or maybe she's not sure she's interested in you or not and wants to get to know you better in a safe environment (ie. among other friends). Either way, it'd be best not to come across as if you're pestering her because in any culture that's just not cool. (As a woman, if you were texting me late at night it would seem borderline creepy, to be honest).

Enjoy yourself, be yourself and stop trying to overthink/overwork it.
by ... (guest) rate this post as useful

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