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Why does japanese never say "I love you"? 2012/7/8 10:45
Hello... I've been dating this japanese girl for some months but in despite of her dedication towards me, she never actually said that she loves me. Although, she did say some romantic things like that she'd devote herself completely to me or that she'd like to spend her time forever by my side. And then according to a source, I read that even the most intimate japanese couples never say "I love you" to each other because it's just not their culture. But still... I'm not really sure if the source is genuinely correct or not. If it is... then what does explain that?
by IllusoryMoon  

Re: Why does japanese never say 2012/7/8 20:29
IllusoryMoon,

First of all, are you saying that she never says "I love you." in English or that she never says "Aishiteru." in Japanese? The reason I ask is because the two doesn't exactly mean the same nor are they used similarly.

Either way, the Japanese in general are more used to saying "Suki / Daisuki / Taisetsu" etc. as opposed to "Aishiteru." And all in all, more Japanese don't rely on words to express love.

So if you need her to say words, just tell her so. What she's saying, to me, seems pretty much the same as "I love you." so I'm sure she wouldn't have a big problem saying it as long as you let her get used to it. However, her devotions may not be as heavy as "Aishiteru." She may need time.
by Uco (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Why does japanese never say 2012/7/9 03:17
Mmmm... I'd say neither. I mean, she has never said to me "I love you" nor "Aishiteru" even though we're still quite intimate with eachother. I'd like to hear her saying the last one to me since I know it has a stronger meaning than "I love you" but if it's really such a heavy expression, I think I'll probably never hear that from her nor I'll force her to say that to me. Cause I really don't like to force things, nor I feel comfortable with it. I'd only be happy if she said that to me herself, and not because I asked.

But still... I'm still a bit naive on the "real" meaning of "aishiteru" I know it's a strong expression alright. But I'd like to know in which situations it's used. if I'd have to be married with her for like 20 years in order to hear that or something.
by IllusoryMoon rate this post as useful

Re: Why does japanese never say 2012/7/9 04:44
My husband and I tell each other this often. We are married for just a few years. I think it is more relaxed times and easier to say but not so easy as it is for western couples who use the words too much and sometimes casually. We began to use these words when we were very serious about our relationship and were ready to be a permanent couple. I think in some western countries, people say "I Love You" for many different reasons and it loses its stronger meaning.
by hirosumi rate this post as useful

Re: Why does japanese never say 2012/7/9 12:28
IllusoryMoon,

I'm beginning to think that this thread should belong to the "Love and Relationships" section, but here goes anyway.

First of all, I don't think it's really healthy to go on feeling that kind of stress without trying to communicate with her, although that's just my personal opinion.

Some Japanese girl may want to say those things all the time while many would go on forever without saying a word of it. And not saying it does not mean she doesn't mean it.

As for me, there have been guys (hey, I'm 50 and still going) that, wouldn't force me of course but, would say things like "You don't say these things." and then we could start the conversation of like me going "Do you like to exchange words like that?" and then I would have the choice of observing him and knowing that he needs those words or considering myself trying to shift into that mode.

I know you'd rather have surprizes, but you have to communicate in order to build your love.
by Uco rate this post as useful

Re: Why does japanese never say 2012/7/9 14:53
It could be that, because he is a foreigner, she is just having a good but not too serious time. She knows that, in a few years she will settle down with a Japanese guy...

I am a Euro male and don't feel the need to say I love you all the time. As someone else wrote western people sort of cheapen love (by always talking about it)..
by Monkey see (guest) rate this post as useful

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