Changing last names when getting married?

I am a USA citizen(male) and my soon to be wife is a Japanese citizen and I am going to go over there and get married very soon.
I was wondering about the system of who changes their last name when they get married in the Japan.

I wanted to keep my last name and I said she can keep her last name too.

However she asked her city office if we could do that and they said that one partner has to change their last name. Is that true?

Secondly, after she learned about that, she said she wants me to take her last name.
I am not completely against the idea, however I am worried at all the paperwork hassle it will create for me in the USA and in Japan, as I would have to update all my information that I have in the USA.
Also, is it normal for a man to sometimes take his wifes name in Japan? She said it is because we are going to inherit her parents house(which will also be living in while we are married) so she wants me to take their last name.

And thirdly,
do any foreigner males have experience changing their last name in Japan? Heck, would the government even allow that even though I am not a citizen?

Fourthly,
in the case I do not take her last name, would she be able to change her last name to mine, even though it is a non japanese last name?

http://www.japan-guide.com/forum/quereadisplay.html?0+98879

Please read my reply to the above thread. Actually the you-must-change-name rule doesn't apply to non-Japanese or to Japanesemarrying a nonJapanese.

I was wondering about the system of who changes their last name when they get married in the Japan.

Usually the woman changes her name, but it is not unheard of for the man to change their name instead. There are various reasons why this might happen for example, the will take over a family business or the wife's family has no sons.

I wanted to keep my last name and I said she can keep her last name too.

However she asked her city office if we could do that and they said that one partner has to change their last name. Is that true?

No, changing you name is optional. More info here:

http://www.nic-nagoya.or.jp/en/e/archives/5022

Secondly, after she learned about that, she said she wants me to take her last name.
I am not completely against the idea, however I am worried at all the paperwork hassle it will create for me in the USA and in Japan, as I would have to update all my information that I have in the USA.

Probably about the same amount of paperwork that would be involved should your wife take you last name. Its not that much work though, but easier to do in country.

Also, is it normal for a man to sometimes take his wifes name in Japan?

Its not common, but neither is it incredibly rare.

Heck, would the government even allow that even though I am not a citizen?

Its possible, but I believe you would have to change your name in the US first.

in the case I do not take her last name, would she be able to change her last name to mine, even though it is a non japanese last name?

Yes, no problem.

As for policies in Japan I recommend ''AK'' answer, but according to US, last name changing laws for man, 9 states enable a man to change his name upon marriage:
California, New York, Hawaii, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Oregon, Iowa, Georgia and North Dakota.
So if you reside in one of these you can change it without any problems, but if you don't then consider changing your spouse last name.

Thanks to the experts, I don't have anything to add about international marriage procedures, but let me provide you some info about name changing in general.

The majority of Japanese wives change their family names and, yes, it's a hassle. You need to change your bank account info, driver's license info, credit card info, and you need to mail things or email things or talk to people for each record. You also may want to change your business card, or if you're not changing your business name, you need to inform your employer so that your social security records and business records are linked accordingly. This is just a part of all the fuss. But it's nothing once you get over it.

"Muko-youshi" is another issue. It's not at all uncommon for men to change their family name to his wives', but to be precise, this practically means that he has left his birth family to enter his wife's family.

Conservative families in Japan tend to be hesitant about having their son do this, especially if he is the eldest one. Traditionally, eldest sons are expected to inherit the house, grave, pride etc. of his birth family while daughters are expected to leave her family for marriage.

On the other hand, if the family has no sons but only daughters, conservative parents might wish their daughter to inherit all the family tradition. To do so, she needs her husband to enter her family rather than the other way around. Again, I'm just talking about domestic marriages.

Anyway, a lot of families don't mind sending their sons out to change his family name to his wive's. They might care less about inheriting, or they might care less for their younger sons, because all the family matter have already been taken care of by their elder sons.

So back to the topic. If you are not Japanese and are not employed by a Japanese organization, the paper work could be much more simple even if you change your name (which you don't really have to, as explained by others). Also, your parents and grandparents may care less about names.

But I sense that your fiance's family expects you and her to take resonsibility in the future of her family's tradition, same names or not. I don't know how big this responsibility is going to be. It's different for each family. Anyway, this is a good opportunity to talk to her and her family to see what expectations they have in mind. And you need to make sure that it meets the needs of your family back home.

After all, you all are going to be one big family in the near future.