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. 2006/10/1 04:40
I think if you really love her, then you should put this issue aside.

Well - let me explain why!

If you never minded it in the first place, then 1stly it shouldn't bother you.

2ndly let's face it - she offered to pay her share in the beginning because she learned that you are saving money for college later, also she wanted to be a strong woman (whatever...). However she is now probably finding it hard to keep up with you 'money spending' wise.

Well - contrary to what you said, she is telling you what she really feels, right at this moment. You know, you say that Japanese women don't really say what they want straight up with you. I certainly agree usually, but not on this case... she might have changed her viewpoint now and realised that hey... you got enough money to pay for her share.

You could call it greed finally coming home, or she's changed, or that she thinks you've saved up enough money now, or you could even call it the price-of-love? But at least she's being genuine to you, and that's a big bonus.

Anyway, if I am in your position, I will probably say to her that ok, I'll start to pay for more things not a problem with a smile :) But tell her that you expect her to chip in for part of the share of being in a relationship, until you get married or whatever.. :)



by rouge rate this post as useful

Going dutch 2007/2/16 13:09
If going dutch bothers you,you NEVER want to date anyone from Northern Europe or most of Europe (except maybe the south,but even there things are changing). In Northern Europe,if you go on a date or anywhere,you WILL pay your share:) And women here wouldn't even accept that a guy pays for them.
People who want their meals,etc to be paid are not really respected here.
So maybe you should date somebody from a conservative culture:)
by Sparkles rate this post as useful

dutch 2007/2/16 20:31
I have been told Japanese couples usually go dutch
by kris rate this post as useful

Wow... 2007/2/20 00:34
I can't believe some of these girls who expect everything should be paid for them... I'm a girl, I work, I can pay for my own stuff... Of course it's nice to be treated to a nice place some times, but why should the guy always pay?? Maybe 50 years ago girls wont' supposed to work as much and have their own salary. But today I don't really see the point anymore. My boyfriends owns more than me, so he offers to pay quite often, but of course he expects me to pay sometimes too! And on a first date I wouldn't mind if a guy expected me to pay part of it. For me, it means I'm independant which is the most important to me...
by Kali rate this post as useful

Dutch Japan 2007/2/20 15:44
Japanese have had cultural interactions with the Dutch e.g. at Kobe, which was an international trading port a couple hundred years ago. Hence, the Japanese imbibed the cultural trait of going Dutch.
Kidding aside, I think it is a cultural thing. For instance, while on the train, I see girls giving their boyfriends the vacant seat. I even saw a girl on a bicycle with her boyfriend riding at the back. I don't think all Japanese have this variety of culture, but I'm sure that some do.
by SpanishWine rate this post as useful

why so much expectations? 2007/2/22 11:44
I feel everyone has too much expectations, I mean don't get me wrong I pay the bills always. But to think that just because one person accepts money from another for the bill to generate a discussion this long it crazy.

If you have a feel for the person then just ask (provided that they are not already with someone else), why keep these questions to yourself. Because the answers you will recieve from people are always mixed, you won't know what he/she thinks unless you ask them
by w1nter rate this post as useful

mixed signals from Gunevire 2007/10/18 00:02
You give the guy mixed signals. Make up your mind if you offer to go dutch go dutch don't expect him to be able to read you're mind . Men cannot read womens minds. If a woman said to me she would go dutch then I would think ''Oh, she wants to go dutch.'' I wouldn't think ,'' Oh she wants me to go dutch but she really doesn't want me to go dutch she wants me to pay for the lot but she doesn't want me to think that she doesn't want me to go dutch she wants me to think that I should pay for the lot.'' Confused well I guess he was too.
by Alma rate this post as useful

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