Stringing me along or interested?

Met a girl through a female friend who had just returned back to town. We've hung out a few times (~5 times). She replies to my messages almost always, however I don't message her every day.

After the fourth outing I asked her what I should introduce her as to my friends. This was something one of my gal friends pushed on me after saying it was strange we both never used the word date. In the end she said she wasn't sure yet and I left it at that.

I gave her space and went about my work. After a week or so she messaged me and asked to go out again. We've gone out now about 7 times.

I should add that there's been minimal physical contact. Some small hand holding or soft touches here/there but nothing sending any clear signals.

That being said, I enjoy spending time with her. I like her attitude and I enjoy seeing her smile. That being said, I feel like I might being strung along. I'm not after one night stands, I'm looking for serious dating. But I don't want to invest my time with someone who isn't serious.

What do you think?

I think she likes you, she might just want to take things slowly and see where it might lead:)

she messaged me and asked to go out again.
that is a important signal.

You've been out seven times, and haven't tried anything yet?
Man up and make a move on her!

Yeah we've been out 7 times. She just got out of a serious relationship a little under 2 months ago. I don't want to be a rebound. I'll admit to not being terribly aggressive but this is my first time since being in Japan with a girl. Cultural differences and being hard to read are making me question myself. Make any sense?

Also I'm not after a bag/tag thing as I said originally

Seven dates/outings should prove to her that you are not on a "bag/tag" mission, but there is a whole lot of ground between that and wondering if you are being strung along in the "just friends" zone

If you want to know if she is interested or not, you should try doing something that "just friends" don't do, like, I don't know, kissing her on the mouth?

Japanese girls do do this, you know. Cultural differences aren't that extreme.

I'm not trying to make fun of you. Seven dates is plenty to prove your sincerity. It might even just be too late, in fact. That depends on her. But you have to make a move.

The fact that she called you is a big sign of interest, by the way. But if you don't do anything, that interest can turn to boredom.

Good luck.

I do appreciate the insight. Didn't take it as teasing. Admittedly I didn't include this previously, so I'll add it now.

After the outing she asked me out to she got drunk one night and asked if she could come over to my place. I said yeah and she showed up. When we got into bed I did make a move a couple times but she said it was too soon. There was some kissing involved, but then again she was drunk. Long story short I was a bit confused so I eased off.

We've gone out 3 times since then and like I said before just small touches here/there. Last week at the movies just some hand holding and her leaning on me.

I will throw it out there right now that I am for lack of a better word inept at reading signals and not the most experienced dater. Back home I focused more on work for a few years and took myself out of socializing for close to 5 years. When I got back into dating 2-3 years ago it was as bad as being a teenager all over again.

Moving along just fine given her breakup. She's showing interest already, just give her some time to get over the past and be a good guy.

Naturally, give her opportunites and don't be too shy. Look forward to Xmas =)

You haven't explicitly said it - Are you a native english speaker and she is Japanese? She could be using you for free English lessons. It happens.

But most likely, she likes you but is afraid of commitment. You sound like you're very serious. If she gets that, it might be making her even more hesitant.

I'll give a woman's perspective:

Based on her actions and the fact she has recently broken up with another guy (is that right?), I think she's confused and not ready for a relationship.

I dated 5 guys after a breakup just for the thrill and needing to feel "I was still sexy". Yeah, I strung them all along.

I'll be honest, I think this is what she's doing. Enjoying the attention, but she doesn't seem to have any interest in anything serious ... AT THIS TIME.

If you want to wait, great. If not, just move on. She seems to have baggage.

For the record, after about 5 dates, someone will make the leap and ask to be your boy/girlfriend. In Japanese, it's called "kokuhaku" (lit. 'confession'). My (now) Japanese husband did that to me, formally asking me to be his girlfriend. Most men & women do that here. And it doesn't take too long for a confession to come out, especially if the person is over the age of 30.

I hope that helps. There are lots of nice women in Japan; you'll have no trouble finding one who doesn't give out mixed-signals.

Best of luck!