Is Yokei na koto rude?

Hello, I would like to ask about the word yokei na koto. It is used to express annoyance and disapproval towards someone who meddles in things that are not theirs or talks too much about things they shouldn't. I have read that it is a harsh phrase. Is it seen as insolent and rude? Or is it only seen as harsh?

I will be grateful for your help.

Well, it's definitely not a polite way to refer to someone else's actions. "Yokei" is used to describe something that's both unnecessary and unwanted, so if you say to someone that what they did was "yokei na koto," it implies that not only do you not agree with the results, you don't think they should have done it in the first place. Same deal with saying something someone is planning to do is "yokei na koto." The message isn't just that you don't think the actions will turn out well, but that's it's wrong to even make the attempt.

As to whether it's an insolent or rude phrase, that depends on the context. It's a strongly judgmental phrase, and so it often carries a confrontational tone. If, for example, a classmate or coworker did something I hadn't wanted them to do, I'd probably only call it "yokei na koto" if I was very upset and thought their actions were malicious or negligent, since their are more polite/compassionate ways to express that I didn't want them to do that than calling it "yokei na koto." And I don't think I'd ever use "yokei na koto" when talking to a teacher, boss, or parent about something they did unless I was prepared for it to start a full-on argument.

However, the phrase "yokei na koto" itself isn't profane or rude, so it's common to use it when discussing your own actions if you think they may cause/have caused problems for someone. For example, a person might apologize and call their own actions "yokei na koto," or they might, when offering assistance or advice, soften it by saying that they don't want to do "yokei na koto" in order to communicate that if the person doesn't want their help, it's OK to refuse it.

It depends on the situation or the way of saying.
If you say it with the 'Do not' sentence like 'Yokei na koto suruna (do not do)' or 'Yokei na koto iuna (do not say/talk', it sounds aggressive.
If with 'Maybe we should not do' like 'Yokei na koto wa shinai hou ga yoikamo', it sounds like a suggestion.

"Yokei na koto" literally means "something excessive" and is typically used to mean "annoyingly unnecessary" no less no more.

For example, you can say "watashi ga yokei na koto o shita" to sound humble. Or if someone praises you too much, you can say "Anata wa yokei na koto o iwanaide" to jokingly sound shy. But since it means "annoyingly unnecessary", it can sound insolent or rude or harsh or whatnot depending on how you say it or the context.

Thank you for your responses. I was thinking of a situation where one person talks too much and in the process reveals some confidential information, then hears "yokei na koto" from a somewhat irritated co-worker.

I was thinking of a situation where one person talks too much and in the process reveals some confidential information, then hears "yokei na koto" from a somewhat irritated co-worker.

Yes, that's like, "That was unnecessary of you," and rightfully so. Or depending on the relationship and situation, you can translate it as, "Gosh, you're not supposed to say that."

If the co-worker wanted to be extra polite, (s)he would probably say nothing except maybe something like an "Umm," be it in English or Japanese, right?

I get it. So in this case "yokei na koto" was rather harsh than rude/offensive?

So in this case "yokei na koto" was rather harsh than rude/offensive?

Well, that depends on your definition of "harsh, rude and offensive," wouldn't it?

Let's say you have a colleague who shares the same age range and career experiences as you. You two are more like friends or siblings than business clients. You casually joke with each other. You share beer. So, what if that colleague messed up? Would you say nothing? Watch the colleague as the colleague keep making the same mistakes over and over? That would be kind of rude to that friend, wouldn't it? You'll be doing a favor by telling the colleague that the colleague's attitude wasn't appropriate. That's sort of like kindness as a friend, rather than rudeness. And you can wise-crack while at it.

But let's say you have a co-worker you don't really get along with. You hardly chat except for on business. You don't want to sit at the same table at lunch. You've tried to keep your distance. But then the co-worker makes another mistake. You just can't help it. You tell the co-worker that it's wrong. Then I bet you can't avoid the harshness in your words.

Or let's say your mother told your best friend that you have a bad habit of biting your nails. You're embarrassed. Wouldn't you say, "Hey, mom! You didn't have to say that! (yokei na koto o)"? Would that be harsh? Or would that be affectionate?

Why are you asking this question, by the way? If you can share some more background, perhaps someone could offer you a better answer.

Thank you sincerely for your reply. In the same way, I want to thank the guest "..." whose reply I had not noticed before. I'm sorry!

It's a bit silly to admit, but I'm trying to get used to the Japanese language by watching anime, among other things. Usually in such situations the characters react differently (using different words). This was the first time I encountered "yokei na koto", I searched a bit on the Internet and one says the phrase is rude, others say it's (kinda) ok but harsh. That's why I decided to ask myself, as I was very curious about it.

Okay. It's great to learn language through anime. And I think the key to learning language is to always imagine how you yourself would use each expressions in what situation you're familiar with. I hope you get to hear more "yokei na koto" in more situations, be it in anime or in non-fiction documentaries where expressions and situations are less exaggerated.

「I want to thank the guest "..." whose reply I had not noticed before. I'm sorry!」
No sweat! Looks like my reply wasn't initially displaying, but glad to be of help!

And to second what Uco said, the line between rude/impolite and harsh/mean is always going to be kind of a gray area in any language. So I think it's actually a good thing to, while also studying Japanese through conventional methods like textbooks or classes, to also consume Japanese media, since a lot of times it's easier to understand the nuance of a phrase when it's used somewhere where there's lots of context for the situation and the relationship between the speaker and listener.

Thank you very much!!!
I am grateful for your help! It was hard to find something on the internet about this sentence. Your knowledge helped me really a lot!