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gay relationship

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gay relationship 2008/1/16 00:53
im a discreet gay...i now permanently live here in japan...

is there a possibility of gay relationship here in japan? i know gay marriage is not granted here...the thing is i dont frequently see gays here...and i think japanese hate them...but are there gays out there? sounds silly...what is a typical japanese gay guy?

by emtee  

hmm 2008/1/16 12:32
Although I'm a female I can answer a few things for you.

For one it's hard for me to tell if Japanese men are gay... because Japanese boys tend to be very close to one another in almost a brother-like fashion. About a month ago a friend of mine was sharing a hotel room with 3 Japanese high school boys. He says during that time the two of them began jumping onto each other in a suggestive fashion while the other recorded (this.. made my friend quite uncomfortable as he himself happens to be gay). And at night they even in the same bed very close to each other.

Yet it turns out, these boys are straight!


But at the same time it shows that Japanese can be more open about gay relationships, it isn't as much as a taboo as it is in other countries.

But anyway, of course theres a possibility of you getting into a relationship. Even if discreet, you should be able to be happy. I've never seen any men holding each others hands but then again, in Japan PDA isn't common to begin with.

You could also try a using website like Mixi to meet other gay men living in your area.

Good luck. =]

by niko-chan rate this post as useful

another girl, but 2008/1/16 13:27
I am also a girl, but I know several gay friends who have relationships with jguys, so it is definitely possible!

Meeting guys on mixi is good, as is finding the local gay bars (if you're in a larger city there should be a gay district). This will make it easier than just meeting guys out- I find that in Japan a lot of guys look and act what people would consider gay (they're very concerned about their looks and the appearance of other guys, are playfully affectionate with each other, will even tell other guys they're handsome/sexy etc.) but are in fact straight- in fact, when my boyfriend went to America he got hit on by ONLY guys because they thought he was gay when he was just being a typical fashionable Japanese boy. ^^;

The real gay guys I've met are very low key, casual about their clothes and quiet about their sexuality. It's not easy to be open about being gay here, but many western guys seem to do just fine. Good luck!

by Kate rate this post as useful

. 2008/1/16 18:12
This is such an interesting topic.

To Western standards, the way a lot of Japanese guys dress up and gel their spikey and very dense hair is kind of gay. Its even below what I'd call metro-sexual. And some j-guys even have obvious make-up on their face.

Took me a while to work out that they're just trendy and many Japanese guy hosts are more or less the same, yet they're definitely not gay at all.

So it probably makes it harder to find some other guy who has the same sexual interest, as its visually confusing!

by Blanc rate this post as useful

Good luck! 2008/3/5 21:02
Yes, I've noticed it to- in Tokyo here sometimes it is almost impossible to distinguish the males from the females!
Make-up, while not common, seems to be a lot more acceptable for boys to wear here. Also, as previously stated, boys are more closer to each other. For example, my two host brothers (aged 17 and 21, both straight) bathed together. It's not a strange thing here.
Also, the Japanese are a lot more open about things such as porn- it is readily avaliable at most convience stores. Yet most Japanese discouage dating until school is finished! Weird, huh?
I would reccomend you don't be flamboyant about your lifestyle though- Affection in public is frowned on for straight couples and same sex couples.
Try www.outjapan.com- according to a lesbian who posted on this website it's a good site. Good luck!
by Emily rate this post as useful

another girl opinoin 2008/3/8 05:00
well,im not gay myself but maybe i can help you,there's probably gays in japan but you dont see them because they will get in trouble if anyone knew they were gay.you could find out if there is someone there for you so you can be happy.this is all the ideas that i have this moment.i hope you find the right dude.
by kaitlyn rate this post as useful

Another Gay guy 2008/4/26 11:07
Hey, I lived in japan for only 4 months last semester and I actually met alot of gay guys, the trick is though that you will only find them in gay clubs/bars/districts, and by mixi and jguyusguy.org I believe is the site or somevariant of that hope this helps good luck!!
by T rate this post as useful

Civil Partnership - is it recognised? 2008/6/17 04:11
Does anyone know if the Japanese Government recognise civil partnerships performed here in the uk?

My partner and I are looking at the possibility of relocating to Japan and while he is able to get a visa on his job and experience (Teacher), i may have trouble as I have no degree but do have management experience.

What we were thiking is that if they acknowledge civil partnerships wether this would fall under dependants visa or not for me

by J rate this post as useful

Civil partnerships 2008/6/17 07:57
J,

Does anyone know if the Japanese Government recognise civil partnerships performed here in the uk?

No, same-sex marriages or partnerships are not recognized here.

by Dave in Saitama rate this post as useful

Jguy Boyfriend 2008/6/18 03:16
In my case, my boyfriend and I hold hands when we walk. We get stares sometimes, but they are the same I get when I (been a gaijin) get while walking alone. About kissing, we only do it in public when we say hello or goodbye (saying goodbye at the train station for example), so we have a quick but real kiss mouth to mouth. So far, haven't had any problem, not even in front of the police. I live in Tokyo by the way.

by David rate this post as useful

Not a resident, but... 2008/6/18 12:55
My girlfriend and I went to Japan together last year. While we did refrain from PDAs, we would hold hands (only when appropriate)and when we stayed in western style hotels we were given double beds, no raised eyebrows, judgements etc.In generaal, you will find that people are very polite and would not confront you anyway.

That aside, good luck finding a partner. Remember, all over the word there are many people, gay, straight, white, black etc. Japan is a very diverse society. There will be somone out there for you.

by R. rate this post as useful

no troubles finding our kind 2009/10/18 04:14
I have found totaly the opposite to you, shinjuku nichome, surely youve discvovered it, it is the largest collection of gay bars in the world, I am from australia and will be here for quite some time (tokyo), if you really are that lost and stuck send me an email address and i can try to introduce you to gay society here.
by tokyo isnt so bad (guest) rate this post as useful

.. 2009/10/18 16:47
I would think that the topic starter has settled in by now - he asked that question almost 2 years ago.
by Shiroi Koibito rate this post as useful

2009 2009/10/25 04:23
the Japanese Justice Ministry announced plans to issue the necessary certificates for its citizens to marry foreign same-sex partners who are citizens of countries where same-sex marriage is legal.
by . (guest) rate this post as useful

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