Dealing with my Japanese Girlfriend

Esu pigaineis mprosta alla ego eimai akoma piso akoma.

Poso xronon eisai? Ego 18.

Par'olo pou ta oneira mas einai duskola paleuoume... k'ego mexri thanatou afou gia mena einai pigi zois.

Kai dentha ta valo pote kato.

San ton Musashi Miyamoto pou mou dinei dunami kai ton Lu Bu, kinezos polemistis mias kinezikis nouvelas... vlepodas tous entharinomai.

Ego se adisesi den gnorizo kanenan sto eksoteriko ekei pou endiaferomai.

Stelno gia pen pal alla den mou apadaei kanenas ki ean gia mia ebdomada.

Merikes fores thumono kai ta leo pano tous an kai den pairno pote apadisi... alla ta leo meta ap'ola auta pou vlepo pou ginontai (asta, olo sta lathos atoma grafo)

i kathigitria mou pou einai iaponeza padremeni me Ellina mou leei na t'afiso me to net. Auti einai kai i moni mou iaponeza fili mazi me mia alli se ena kai monadiko magazi me iaponika proionta.

Ksereis, i Iaponia distihos den einai kai toso dimofilis hora edo stin Ellada (toulahiston, oso einai stin Ameriki i se alles Europaikes hores). Os apodeiksi aftou einai oti den iparhi ena aksiologo tmima asiatikon spoudon. Opote, ta pragmata ya mas tous Ellines einai poli pio diskola.

Kala, min nomizeis oti kai ego eho prohorisei para poli.. Eho shesi me tin kopela mou edo kai 2 hronia sxedon, kai asholoumai me tin Iaponia edo kai 5 hronia. To provlima einai oti afta ta 2 hronia den tin eho sinantisei oute mia fora. Eho na tin do apo ton Augousto tou 2004. Kai, opos eheis katalavei, i ipomoni tis eksantleitai. :-(

Epiprosthetos, i Iaponia einai mia poli akrivi hora kai ta taksidia ekei den einai kai toso efkola. Vevaia, emena o stohos mou einai na ziso, ohi aplos na taksidepso ekei.

Sughorese me alla den thelo na anafertho se prosopika stoiheia se ena forum, akoma kai an milame sta Ellinika. Alla, pantos den ehoume kai megali diafora stin ilikia. :-)

Emeis oi Ellines pou endiaferomaste ya tin Iaponia prepei na voithame kai na kathodigoume o enas ton allon. Oi efkairies ya douleia stin Iaponia einai poli ligoteres ya mas. Par'ola afta, mas enonei ena pragma...i agapi mas ya tin Iaponia. :-)

Oi perissoteroi apo tous filous mou, oi opoioi ehoun zisei stin Iaponia den ehoun apolitos kanena endiaferon ya tin Iaponia alla tous steilane ekei logo epaggelmatos. Parol'afta ksetrelathikan me aftin tin hora kai lene oti einai stin kirioleksia..iperohi (alla kai akrivi). Oi tuxeroi!!!

Esi eheis shedio ya kanena taksidi stin Iaponia sto prosehes mellon? Ego shediazo na taksidepso tou hronou ya na do tin kopela mou alla kai ya na gnoriso tin hora tou Anatellontos Illiou.

Koita, eiha kai ego polous pen pals alla pistepse me, den vgainei tipota etsi. Eho mia diefthinsi sto yahoo. An theleis, steile mou ekei email na ta poume kalitera. Den tin hrisomopoio poli sihna alla tha sou apantao 100%. I diefthinsi einai: leonidas_and_300_spartans@yahoo.gr. Opos sou eipa, prepei emeis oi Ellines pou endiaferomaste ya tin Iaponia na voithame o enas ton allon.

Ama eheis os protipa ton Lu Bu kai ton Musashi Miyamoto, min fovasai tipota!! :-)

Girishajin and I Love Sakura,

don't you think you ought to bring your conversation somewhere else?

This IS someone else's topic.

It's bad manners to hijack some else's thread.

Just sent you an email replying at you.

Hope it'll go all fine.

Musashi Miyamoto is the honor

Lu Bu is the might

Happy Easter everyone :)

Let me borrow an exert from 'From the view of Japanese girl' :
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''I was thinking why I get angry easily...or something....I always wanted to hear strong words from him. Like...even if we are aprart, we can do it!!! I just wanted to hear such words from him, but never happened. Then, I worry too much and get frustrated and the end. Where am I supposed to go with only my feelings? ''
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Xer it is no coincidence that she said EXACTLY what I tried to relay the 'hidden truth' to you... to which you replied by saying - ''..you cannot assume what I am and am not doing. You also don't know anything about either of our personalities.''


U know what? The thing is, I KNOW a lot more about what you are like than you could ever imagine, just by watching the way you write on this forum and the way you reacted to the situation!


You even admitted it yourself - that it is the long distance that is doing the damage and making her frustrated. I mean, it is just very similar to what the 'Japanese Girl' above has said and what I anticipated.

A GIRL wants the reassuring words from the MAN, especially a Japanese one.

Well I guess you being 21 means you are still learning and picking up more and more experience with each relationship... But there is a very good reason why women and men behave differently to get what they want u see :)


The hint - women are suppose to have much lower EQ than men. They like throwing things around, crying, giving the men crap - instead of hitting someone haha.. what matters more is, if you see deeper into your partner's head - whether you FEEL there is still any love in there, or are they just a bit afraid due to the distance? :D

ROUGE: I think too much of your knowledge of girls come from movies.

well i must say from experience with jp women...do not make her any more special than anyother female...I understand the novelty of having a jp gf esp. if she is cute, but and this is a big BUT...JP is full, full, full of single women who will act right. Granted many in jp as well as the US dont know how to have a relationship...which is the root of the problem itself...they know this and actually fear loosing men because of it, SO on one hand they are so affraid of falling in love with and loosing a man that they would rather get it over with and end it now. Women are at constant odds with themselves about this as well as other "female stuff", but generally speaking they dont see themselves nearly as good or nice or desireable as men see them, so they dont like it when they are put on a pedistal. So when she talks crazy, hang up on her and wait about 2 seconds for her to call you back. Dont answer, instead wait until about the 3rd call then answer but let her talk. Dont get too hung up on one person, believe me she is not the only "nice, funny etc" single female in JP...or anywhere for that matter.

"ROUGE: I think too much of your knowledge of girls come from movies."


???

Adam. Re-read my post. I based my reaction and even quoted directly from a Japanese girl who wrote on this thread herself.


What drug exactly are you that made you so detached from normal life and a normal conversation slightly longer than 1 sentence? ROFLM'D'O.

Sorry Rouge. I shouldn't have been so provocative. I think it was that the "The hint - women are suppose to have much lower EQ than men. They like throwing things around..." part that got me off.

What I mean is, most girls don't throw things around. That's just the movie stereotype of a "angry woman".

Oh, and I misread the EQ as IQ. Did you mean EQ and that women are supposed to have much lower?

it is totally up to you,
you love her more than she loves you,
just stop for a while to contact her, if she contact you, then make her face the problem, which is the comunication, if she is still like this, tell her you leave her.
unfortunately you have to be very clear to her about this.
it will be very hard for you to do this, but if you don't do it, she will kill you mentally.

good luck.

Well unfortunately I have seen some women throw things around :( Look I was just on an analogy, not necessarily literally throwing things around! But yes I was talking about EQ.

I have personally been in two relationships with women just like that. One of them was American and one of them was Japanese. Both relationships lasted 2 1/2 years, so I definitely put in my time and tried to work things out as well as I could....but in the end, both relationships had to end.

Fact of the matter is, women are women. It doesn't matter if they are Japanese, American or Martian...people are basically people. Yeah, customs and culture are different, but emotions tend to transcend cultural boundaries.

People can get on here and jump to conclusions that you didn't try enough or that you aren't "reading between the lines" or that she just wanted you to affirm that everything was going to work out. And maybe some of that is true....or maybe not. It's easy to make assumptions about peoples' relationships based on one's own personal relationships (hehe...that's what I'm doing now actually), but that doesn't really mean they have the slighest idea what's going on in your relationship. Personally, I think Rogue took things a bit too far in his "if you really loved her..." line...and that's probably why he got a little flack from some of the other posters here.

Bottom line is, some women are just like that. I have noticed it a lot more frequently in younger women than older women (especially the 21 to 24 range), but some women are just really quick to get angry. Oftentimes, women that get angry quick are also very likely to change moods quickly and appear to be very fickle. Of course this is not only limited to women...there are guys like this too.

But unlike Rogue and a few other people's seem to think, not all women are like that and it may have had nothing to do at all with your relationship or you personally. One thing I can say with certainty: if you are doing your best to make this relationship work, and her mood swings and angry outbursts are driving you crazy and harming your relationship, then marriage or living together will not fix things. Things only get more tense when you actually spend all of your time together.

The only person that is really qualified here to decide if your girl really has a problem or issue you need to work out of if drastic mood changes are part of her personality is yourself.

If you decide it may be her personality itself (hell...she could be bi-polar too), and there is nothing you can do to correct the situation, then I would just walk away. I have spent too many years in relationships like this where every single little thing I did was turned into an issue of utmost national security, that I understand where you're coming from.

Hmm...I've already rambled on enough here. I guess my main point is that is not "just the way women are". That is jsut the way "some" women are. There are women out there that are in much better control of their emotions that make for much more stable relationships. I'd start looking for one of those before this relationship starts to eat away at your self esteem.

...from the way you talk you about this topic to have a very negative experience from your past...

I've been in exactly your situation and can tell you two things. First, not all women are like this. Many are more mature and emotionally stable. Dealing with constant or frequent emotional outburst is draining and will only get more difficult as you get older.

Second, she is unlikely to change. If she is bi-polar and needs medication, that may help, but she may not take the medicine. In any event, people become more (not less) set in their ways as they get older. Yes, some mature with time and change for the better, but unless she recognizes the problem (think of an alcoholic who won't recognize he/she has an alcohol problem) the situation will never improve.

Like you, I have tried to make things "work" or to "fix" people. Anger is often deep-seated and one of the most difficult personality issues to repair. You're young, you sound like a good person, I would recommend finding someone more mature (emotionally) and stable who will be a better partner for you. Since you're in college, you should have very little problem meeting other attractive, interesting, mature, smart women. Your current situation is very unlikely to improve.

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Personally, I think Rogue took things a bit too far in his "if you really loved her..." line...and that's probably why he got a little flack from some of the other posters here."
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Who gave me a little flack on this point? Absolutely no one.. Don't know where you pulled that one from buddy.

Except the original poster disagreeing with something else altogether that I said.

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But unlike Rogue and a few other people's seem to think, not all women are like that and it may have had nothing to do at all with your relationship or you personally.
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Errr... I didn't think that either.

In fact, my alignment on this issue is similar to yours, in that I think SOME girls are like that and could get angry, tear things down, etc,.

All I tried to say originally and for some unknown reason it has been misinterpreted to an unacceptable extent is -

A) All women want to be loved.

B) Some women act and behave badly trying to get more attention from the guy. They're trying to seek more attention and being counterproductive.

C)It is exactly as the 'Lady from Japan' above has admitted to. But if you see my earliest reply, I've already pre-empted that. Its because for girls that behave or behaved like she did, she is telling the universal truth for those scenarios.


Some women (notice I said some incase some ppl don't read it lol) - they just like doing that, especially younger women. I repeat for the 3rd and last time, its because they feel insecure in some way. In fact at that time, they probably don't even know what it is exactly that's making them do that. They prob only realise afterwards.

Thing is, most women aren't as rational as men. That is why a lot of women, especially weaker (and mostly Asian women) cannot even watch a haunted movie, as they don't 'think' but rather 'react'.

Unluckily, a few of us have had experiences with women where you can keep giving more to them and they start acting like a blackhole, sucking all the guy's energy. This is not all good, but there are good reasons for that.

If you understand the LOGIC behind the ILLOGICALS in this world, you'll find its actually there.

Even BI-POLAR or other mental conditions can be triggered by traumatisation, there are reasons behind a lot of things that happen.

Obviously there are ALWAYS exceptions in this world. Some probably have inborn psychiatry tendencies and if you're unlucky enough to land one of these - the best u could do is wish them luck... but in this certain case and this certain circumstance, JUST READ WHAT THE GIRL FROM JAPAN ABOVE HAS SAID.....


I don't even know why its so hard for some of u to do that. In fact, I've been the only person on this thread who has ACKNOWLEDGED what she said. Its because I actually listen to other people... in case no one noticed lol... and I don't misinterpret what others say either... :)

Exceptions there are much in this world.

We're no robots to act all the same.

If you don't like haunted movies i can simply say you i've seen many asian girls who like them (plus japanese).

From one side you see a jgirl completely weak also in mind but at the other side another jgirl who is even stronger and intelligent and comprehensive.

The same with we men.
We are not same. There are weak and strong.

I, who live in my country i am completely different from others.

We men are also insecure. What do you say that only women are.

You seem like someone who don't wants to be routed by men and says that girls who do this they're bad.

Well, how about a man who sucks like a blackhole a womans energy? It's good?

In my opinion Asian girls look innocent and weak but they're the strongest and most intelligent of all.

You're also misinterpretting most of the things I said - or rather I did not say.


***If you don't like haunted movies i can simply say you i've seen many asian girls who like them (plus japanese).***

I like haunted movies.
I've also seen many asian girls who love haunted movies. But a lot of them don't like it, for the reason I explained above.

***The same with we men.
We are not same. There are weak and strong.***

Yes I agree.

***We men are also insecure. What do you say that only women are.***

I didn't say that.
I didn't say a lot things too. That isn't proof that something not discussed here isn't what I think or not think.

Please people - stop IMAGINING things..


***You seem like someone who don't wants to be routed by men and says that girls who do this they're bad.***

I've no idea what this means. Perhaps you're right or you're wrong. It depends on what ur point is, but I don't understand it!


*** Well, how about a man who sucks like a blackhole a womans energy? It's good?***

Hey, is this your shot at being sarcastical to me? Or is this an innocent question? hahahaha.

Of course its bad for man to suck a woman's energy. Again something I don't talk about here doesn't mean I didn't think its an issue or not.

You didn't say you love your mom here. So you don't love your mom?


**In my opinion Asian girls look innocent and weak but they're the strongest and most intelligent of all.***

So that's your opinion but u want to hear my opinion instead of guessing it again? Here it is.

My opinion is, SOME asian girls look innocent and weak. They could actually be, innocent, weak and smart.

My opinion is, SOME asian girls look innocent and weak. They could actually be, innocent, weak and dumb.

My opinion is, SOME asian girls look innocent and weak. They could actually be, innocent, strong and dumb.

My opinion is, SOME asian girls look innocent and weak. They could actually be, innocent, strong and smart.

My opinion is, SOME asian girls look innocent and weak. They could actually be, not-innocent, strong and dumb.

My opinion is, SOME asian girls look innocent and weak. They could actually be, not-innocent, strong and smart.

My opinion is, SOME asian girls look innocent and weak. They could actually be, not-innocent, weak and dumb.

My opinion is, SOME asian girls look innocent and weak. They could actually be, not-innocent, weak and smart.

My opinion is, SOME asian girls look innocent and strong. They could be innocent and weak.

My opinion is, SOME asian girls look innocent and strong. AND they ARE innocent and strong.

My opinion is, SOME asian girls look innocent and weak. AND they ARE innocent and weak.

Some asian girls look innocent and strong. They could be innocent and weak.

Some asian girls look not-innocent yet weak. They could be innocent and weak.

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U know.... there are at least another 15-20 possibilities to this... but hopefully u're starting to get my drift...

The point is - your OPINION about too many things is too one sided. What U THINK could be right in some cases obviously. But why don't u open up to the other 98% of possibilities there are hahaha...

You make me laugh with you and your funny solutions. I don't see you give any solution since you say that most people are same.

"I like haunted movies.
I've also seen many asian girls who love haunted movies. But a lot of them don't like it, for the reason I explained above"

How do you know then that most don't like them? Have you ever done a survey to do that? Don't make me laugh.

You talk about opening our mind since you don't open yours.

"I've no idea what this means. Perhaps you're right or you're wrong. It depends on what ur point is, but I don't understand it!"

Then open your dictionary and check out for the words you don't understand.

"You didn't say you love your mom here. So you don't love your mom?"

What about your dad? You love him?

"So that's your opinion but u want to hear my opinion instead of guessing it again? Here it is.

My opinion is, SOME asian girls look innocent and weak. They could actually be, innocent, weak and smart.

My opinion is, SOME asian girls look innocent and weak. They could actually be, innocent, weak and dumb.

My opinion is, SOME asian girls look innocent and weak. They could actually be, innocent, strong and dumb.

My opinion is, SOME asian girls look innocent and weak. They could actually be, innocent, strong and smart.

My opinion is, SOME asian girls look innocent and weak. They could actually be, not-innocent, strong and dumb.

My opinion is, SOME asian girls look innocent and weak. They could actually be, not-innocent, strong and smart.

My opinion is, SOME asian girls look innocent and weak. They could actually be, not-innocent, weak and dumb.

My opinion is, SOME asian girls look innocent and weak. They could actually be, not-innocent, weak and smart.

My opinion is, SOME asian girls look innocent and strong. They could be innocent and weak.

My opinion is, SOME asian girls look innocent and strong. AND they ARE innocent and strong.

My opinion is, SOME asian girls look innocent and weak. AND they ARE innocent and weak.

Some asian girls look innocent and strong. They could be innocent and weak.

Some asian girls look not-innocent yet weak. They could be innocent and weak.

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I've read for your opinion and i have not asked yours again.

Then i say all that cause of experience.

"The point is - your OPINION about too many things is too one sided. What U THINK could be right in some cases obviously. But why don't u open up to the other 98% of possibilities there are hahaha..."

Replied at the begging of this post.

You say you're on fire but you're not too hot as you think...

So reply and lose again.

Very quickly, Xer et al, get some balls!! First and foremost you are a man, secondly a human. Noone likes to be treated the way your chicky 'supposedly' has treated you. Stand up for yourself and stop being such a poof. If she goes off and starts throwing things around, calmly wait till she's finished, asked if she's had enough and tell her to call you when she grows up. For god sake man you can be loving, intimate, caring, funny etc etc but never lose your sense of self. You'll find someone who will treat you as you should be treated, but if you persist with this spoilt little tart you'll waste years of your life and be left holding your shrivelled little nuts in your hand saying 'what if'? Trust me, she will have more respect for you if you remember men are from earth and women are from earth!

Rouge has a common viewpoint in many of his relationship posts. I understand what he is trying to say most of the time. I do think that he is trying to be helpful by being direct and honest.

I can't say I agree with everything that Rouge says, not because I have different experiences, but because the opinions given are sometimes too simple and too generalizing.

But, he does make a very good point that I completely agree with. He has the intention of being realistic, even if the truth hurts. That lesson is important, regardless of whether you agree with Rouge's exact opinions or not.

I do suspect that Xer is making a mistake. In my opinin, you do not construct a building on sand. It will almost certainly sink and tip over. His relationship is very rocky, and he admits that communication is confusing. He is getting mixed signals and he doesn't completely understand his gf's messages. Yet, as I understand it, he is deciding to make some life plans for this relationship. I would think making too many plans would be like constructing a building on top of sand.

This relationship has no solid surface on which to build things. Time won't fix that. Only clear communication will fix that. If you can't get clear communication, then it is possible that she is not ready for such a relationship because she can't give it what it needs. It's like growing flowers and deciding not to water them.