Interracial marriage & children in Japan

I think her mom is just your usual asian mom - i dont think there's anything wrong with her opinion, if that's what your friend's mom thinks then thats how she thinks. Call it traditional, but you can't really blame people for how they think....and if she prefers her daughter marrying a japanese, then that is not wrong either. Just not as open minded, but definitely not racist.

on the other hand, its still up to your friend, the half-japanese and caucasian to decide what SHE prefers to have as a boyfriend. There will be nothing wrong if she chose a caucasian or an asian either. I have half-half friends who prefer their caucasian side, some vice versa.

I don't mean to offend you but what you posted above is abit one-sided. I do support interracial marriage, mixed couples etc. (I myself am not japanese but have a j-gf) but i think its important not to count for differences in thinking especially in this focus subject. That's my opinion.

It is really racism, under the current accepted definitions. What you are sought of alluding to, is that there are two standards-if the racial roles were reversed, then the people being "not open minded" would be being received as though they also run around in white pointy hoods.It's either all racist, or its all 'not having such an open mind", but ur right about one thing, there is not much point or it is not right or appropriate to make a big deal about it in such a case as this.

I think it's more nuanced than the racist/not racist dichotomy. Being biracial myself (black and white) I can see several seemingly valid reasons involving society's perception of the couple and their children that are questions and concerns about the welfare and happiness of the family and which have nothing to do with racism. It all depends on the reason the parents have for wanting their children to marry within the same ethnicity. Not all of these reasons are automatically racist.

As for the original topic, difficulties of being multi-racial/multi-cultural aside, as long as at least one parent the child is close to from an early age loves the child and tells them that they are wonderful the way they are, the kid should be fine. I'm not saying that they'll never struggle with their identity, but most people have those kind of issues anyway. It gives the chance for the child to grow up with a more balanced perspective than most people have. Anyway, if we ever want to get to a place where there is no longer a need to ask questions like this, we need to start by giving less of a damn about what society thinks and just all make babies with each other.

LOL! right you are,sora da ya,i'm Caucasian and want a j-bf.My dad is thrilled,mom prefers me to marry a white but accepts Japanese too.

It depends on the person i guess..

Curious, I think the answer depends very much on the parents themselves. Are they well-educated, have they travelled abroad, have they had contact with foreigners, do they live in a city, are they interested in countries and cultures outside Japan? If not, you might have some problems. Is the J-guy an oldest son? If so, he may be expected to take care of the parents in their old age. Will children of mixed marriages encounter discrimination - for example in schools? It depends on the child. Bullying is an ugly fact of life in Japanese schools and any child who is perceived as "different" or "non-conforming" may be a victim. That said, I know of children who have been perfectly happy in the Japanese schooling system. I also know a family who home-schooled their children as they felt the Japanese education system is too rigid, conformist and competitive.( They could only do this because their kids had been born in the US and were US citizens). So, a lot of factors you have to consider.

I did not read all of the replies so forgive if this has been touched upon. I am married to a Japanese lady and we visit Japan once a year.
It would seem to me that if you are going to run into trouble with overly conservative/old fashioned parents it would be more problematic for them to allow a #1 Json marry interacially than a Jdaughter. The oldest son will sometimes stay with the parents and his wife becomes part of the family. If a Jdaughter gets married she is expected to leave her parents and become part of the of the husband's family.
Everyone is different and its just something to think about or generate conversation. Basically, unless there is no older brother, in old fashioned Jfamilies the Jdaughter gets nothing. If parents are old fahoined enought to folow this custom perhaps they are also old fashioned enough to not want their family line sullied by their #1 son marrying a foreigner.

What most parents understand from experience about marriage is that it takes work. And that the more complicated you make it for yourself, the harder it is.

The more you share in common, the easier you make it for yourselves.

When parents want their child to marry someone "like us" the real issue is often wanting the young people to share the family culture, both for the new couple's sake, and for the sake of the future grandchildren.

Sometimes young people say "we're the ones getting married (or divorced), not our families-- but the fact is, it is the families who are getting married-- and you are marrying his/her family, not just him/her.

Families of mixed ethnicities often have a much easier time in larger, more metropolitan areas or better educated/ university communities.

Yes, grandchildren can improve the situation, but don't get married without your parents' blessing. The relationship between you and them is too important. It has a way of coloring your home life forever.