Sharing food portion

Hi all,

Kindly advise for some dining etiquette.
Is it acceptable if we ordered 2 set meals for 3 person when dining in a restaurant? Sometimes the portion is too large for 1 person to finish, for example okonomiyaki or set meals. Otherwise will it be alright to order extra rice for the 3rd person ?

The restaurant is not happy 3 persons with 2 dishes.
If the meal seems to be too large or too much, ask to make it smaller or serve a half.

If you want to share a meal, then go to an izakaya and order enough small dishes to go around. But it's rude (or more likely, simply not allowed) to split a set meal - if it's too much food then order something else instead.

Thank you very much for the advise.

Just make sure that you make at least 1 order per person, and try to ask as you order.

For example, if there are 3 people, you can order 1 drink and 2 dishes and that will usually be okay. Or better, you can usually order 2 main dishes and 1 starter or 1 salad.

But as suggested, it all depends on the system. For example, let's say 2 people ordered an "all-you-can-eat-for-an-hour" menu, and 1 person just ordered 1 tea. The person who ordered tea cannot eat from the food that the other 2 ordered.

Either way, just make sure you're making proper orders by pointing the person as you make his/her order. That can avoid misunderstandings. And you can use the word "share" which is an expression used in Japan as well. Then they will usually offer you an extra empty plate and a fork.

For example, if there are 3 people, you can order 1 drink and 2 dishes and that will usually be okay.

Wow, I guess you can do that in Denny's and they won't throw you out, but a normal restaurant would go out of business if everyone did that.

If it's a specialty restaurant like a tonkatsu shop, they expect you to order one main dish each, with or without drinks. If it's an izakaya, they expect you to order one drink each, and some small dishes to nibble on. You might get away with ordering less and they maybe won't kick you out, but that's not what the OP is asking - they're asking about etiquette, not the bare minimum that you can get away with.

Thank you Uco for the suggestion to mention "share" when ordering.

Like Umami Dearest has mentioned, I was referring to a set meal for example Tonkotsu where the meat portion is good enough for 2 person. Or a sushi set e.g. consist of 10pcs (ordering 2 sets for 3 person).

I will be traveling with my parents and we love to explore various culinary. We used to share food when traveling to other Asian countries to try many dishes, but wondering if it's polite to do so with the set meals in Japan. My parents do not drink so we will be likely eating at local restaurants instead of izakaya. Your feedbacks are greatly appreciated and help us in arrange the meal plans. Thank you.

I think it really depends on the food and the restaurant. The set "teishoku" meals are meant to be one per person, so if it's too much food, it's better to order something else. However as a person who doesn't eat a lot per meal, often I wont be able to finish mine and my husband (who got his own meal) will eat the rest. That's always fine, of course.

Okonomiyaki is a shared-type meal anyway, with the dish cooked on the table in front, so it's perfectly okay to order for 2 people and share. Family restaurants will also give you no problems.

I think just use common sense and don't worry too much about it.

Okay, let's just say that what I wrote has been accepted in all restaurants I've been to, within Japan and overseas. And I do go to the best places once in a while.

But to be fair, maybe "1 drink" was misleading. It would, of course, be better if the third person can at least order a side dish. And again, you should make sure, as you order, that the restaurant understands you are "share"ing.

On a related note, another option is to ask if you can "take out" your leftovers (nokorimono), as you order.

We used to share food when traveling to other Asian countries to try many dishes, but wondering if it's polite to do so with the set meals in Japan.

It is normal to share a set meal with a small child. Otherwise, and as Uco mentioned, the other person is expected to order "something". How much that means (drink, side order, half meal, full meal, etc.) depends entirely on the restaurant. For example, at chain teishoku restaurants, it is perfectly acceptable to just order a drink. And I'm sure Umami is just being hyperbolic, but you will not be thrown out of a restaurant in Japan for making an ordering mistake.

My parents do not drink so we will be likely eating at local restaurants instead of izakaya.

Izakaya are great restaurants to check out even if you do not drink alcohol. Just order a round of soda/tea and a couple plates of food and you're good to go.

Thank you everyone!

For teishoku, we will order 1 meal each person.

For okonomiyaki, we are planning to have it at Hiroshima. Looking at the pictures, usually 1 portion is for 1 person, especially when served in front of us (e.g. at Okonomimura). My experience with okonomiyaki at Kyoto and Tokyo is that 1 portion definitely is too much for 1 person. Not sure with portion in Hiroshima.