Japan and No Time for Family and Loved Ones?

Hello there. My name is Garrett. I am 21, and in a long distance relationship with a Japanese woman. I came here to learn about the issue in Japan regarding free time. By that, I mean time not dedicated to work. My current understanding is that there is only one "weekend" so to speak, and that long work hours are extremely common. I hear that most folks over there don't enter relationships because they simply don't have the time to spend with those they love, because of work.

How true is this, and could someone elaborate on the issue of little free time in Japan?

I am worried for her, as lately she has been going through long periods of time without eating because she doesn't have time! :(

My current understanding is that there is only one "weekend" so to speak

I don't understand what you mean. Can you clarify? Do you mean "only one day off per week"? If so, that's often true, but I don't think that that itself is a problem, because people don't attend church on Sundays.

and that long work hours are extremely common.

If you mean "overwork", then I think it's more common than it is in a lot of other countries, but it does depend on the job and individual.

I hear that most folks over there don't enter relationships because they simply don't have the time to spend with those they love, because of work.

I'm not sure if that's how I would describe it. You can't help falling in love, and when you fall in love you'd want to see each other. I think it's more that "some relationships don't work out because of the lack of time they share" which does happen in other countries too. But a lot of people I work with go home to their families at 5 pm, and if there are any emergencies they'd send quick emails from home. Otherwise, they'd keep themselves "off" until the next weekday morning.

I am worried for her, as lately she has been going through long periods of time without eating because she doesn't have time! :(

I think that today in Japan it's more common to think that this is not healthy and that it's even against labor laws.

But if she is relatively younger than her colleagues and is working in a popular industry, or is currently working on a busy project, then that could often be the norm. But to be fair, roadies work like that in any country too.

You should get to know her colleagues so that you can understand her work environment/ethics better. Like I said, it's not necessarily a "Japanese" thing, but more of an industry thing.

And you are one of the few people who can allow her to forget work and can ease her pain if any. The great thing is that since you guys are physically far apart, she doesn't have to struggle to find time to go out with you.

Thanks for the answer. :)

I am a foreigner who has worked 10 years in Japan now, what I have seen that in general the expectation of Japanese organization is that you put work ahead of family, there are also stupid unsaid rules like you should not leave until your boss leaves work even if you have no work, often you have to spend time drinking with coworkers after work
However this is changing rapidly, to some extend it depends on person and new generation is more vocal about their preference for personal time
On a slightly different note, in general Japanese people don't wa t to confront so busy at work is often a tacit way to saying that I am not interested in spending more time with you, there was am interesting article in Japantoday on the same couple of days ago
Tho I hope that's not the case with you