I wouldn't worry too much about communication. We've been to Japan about 10 times, stayed in a fair few onsen ryokan, and have never found it a problem speaking pretty much no Japanese.
The order of things is pretty much the same in all ryokan. Check in, escorted to your room, tea and a sweet, the first question (what time do you want dinner? You can resolve that with a paper and pen, drawing a clock face), the next question (what time for breakfast?), the maid finding some yukata for you (much hilarity about how huge you are - even if you're smaller than the maid, somehow you are officially gigantic because you're a westerner), and then you're good to go....and bathe.
Curtains that hang on the outside of the public baths are often helpfully coloured blue or red/pink to show which sex they are for. If not, then learning the character and/or words for men and women will be useful. There are loads of resources that tell you what to do/not to do in an onsen (basically, wash and rinse BEFORE you get into the tub, don't dip your little towel in the tub, be considerate of other bathers and remember that people are there to relax so be slow and quiet not shouty and splashy).
Other than that, we've always found that if you put the hotel staff as much at their ease as possible (smiling, saying thank you a lot, showing obvious appreciation, taking shoes off before stepping on tatami, ONLY using the toilet slippers in the toilet, doing up your yukata left-over-right and not the other way round, learning some food and drink words and how to say "that's delicious", and always being ready with a judicious "oops, sorry!"), then things go just fine. If you show that you've got good intentions, and are behaving considerately, my view is that this transcends language barriers.
Kaiseki meals follow basically the same path of dishes, with regional differences. A pen and paper, and some charade-playing will generally allow you to work out most of what you're eating, and sometimes will also add to the fun for both you and the person serving you (imagine you think you might be being served duck, or wild boar, for example).
Sure, you'll miss out on loads of details, and are unlikely to have a proper conversation, but lack of language is no real bar to having a good experience. Maybe the one thing to remember is that good ryokan specialise in really high levels of hospitality, so their whole ethos is to make you feel at home. Even if you were to do something that's not quite proper etiquette, then as long as it's not a complete no-no, you are unlikely to even know about it as your host will not want to bring attention to it.
I would definitely make the effort to go somewhere rural for a ryokan stay, rather than in a city, or a big resort area. Calmer, more "authentic", and often better food and baths.
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