Wedding gift reciprocation

I was married in Japan this year, and a friend and his fiancee attended the reception and gave us a 30000yen gift. Now it's his turn to get married, but as he's having the ceremony overseas I can't attend, and there is no reception anyway. My question is: how much should I give as a gift? The same amount he gave us (30000) or only about 10000 since he doesn't have a reception? As a note, it cost me 20000yen for them to attend our wedding, plus the cost of the wedding gifts to guests (hikidemono).
Any thoughts?

Since you're not eating and drinking for free, a 10000 yen gift sounds reasonable.

I was married in japan a few years back also. My understanding is that whatever amount of yen you are given, you need to buy a present for half the value in return.

The half-value gift in return called "uchi-iwai" should have been given right after the wedding (at least within a few months). Giving gifts for the sender's wedding is a whole different story.

Yeah, after the wedding we had our honeymoon in Guam, and we bought nice gifts for everyone who gave us wedding presents. So that really doesn't enter the equation. ;)
I was recently thinking of a gift in the 10000 to 15000 range. Then they won't really know how much I spent. Good idea?

"I was recently thinking of a gift in the 10000 to 15000 range. Then they won't really know how much I spent. Good idea?"

That's a good idea and a typical idea, but I don't understand why that makes them not really know how much you spent.

Sounds like your not the best of friends if your beening so cheap on the wedding gift. If this is his/her second wedding or something like that, I'd go cheap, but if this is his/her first (and hopefully only) get them a good gift that they'll use and appreciate. Spend the money!

I think that RON SENSEI's budget of 10000-15000 sounds very reasonable, and if he spends much more than that, it will only be a burden on the reciever (at least according to Japanese perspective).

I also assume that RON wishes to blur the price since it would be impolite and again a burden if the price of the gift is too obvious. I just don't understand why 10000 to 15000 range would be the reason to blur the price.

I was recently thinking of a gift in the 10000 to 15000 range. Then they won't really know how much I spent. Good idea?

I think what RON SENSEI meant is "I was thinking of sending a gift, not cash, maybe just the value in the range of 10,000 to 15,000 range. (If it's a gift), then they won't really know exactly how much I spent."

I think it is a good idea, too, because if you give 10,000 yen in cash, it clearly looks like you've done a bit of calculation/subtraction from the gift money you got, and arrived at that number... :) And in the first place, if your friend is getting married overseas, maybe he is not really expecting the typical Japanese "gift of money" thing?

Thanks guys. I did wanna give something nice, but not put a burden on the receiver, and also not put a burden on me. ;) So I will get a nice gift in the 10000 to 15000 range. Should make us happy on both sides.