Ring Customs

Hello,

While I wanted to make a more "classic" marriage proposal, my fiancee yesterday felt quite uneasy, and REALLY intentioned to find out if I was seriously intentioned with her (I really am) so in the end I felt like proposing (she accepted ^_^), but being a "all of a sudden" kind of situation, there were no rings or anything like that.
I am also unaware of local customs on this regard so I wanted to ask what should I do.

What kind of rings do males give to women as engagement rings and how much should I expect to spend on it?

Any advice on the "where" it would be better to buy (in Tokyo Metro area)?

Great!

how much should I expect to spend on it?
In Japan, people often say "3 months' salary for an engagement ring".
(I heard people are influenced by very old CM.)
But following report says "on 2011, in Tokyo area, average is 360,000 yen" and "8% of a yearly income".
http://allabout.co.jp/gm/gc/387174/

"where" it would be better to buy (in Tokyo Metro area)?
Mmm... other place than Ginza?

A lot of people in Japan don't bother with engagement rings and I know very few people who wear them. I only have a wedding ring and my husband proposed without a ring, which is normal here.

My experience has been the same as Sira's. The custom for engagement rings in Japan is that they generally are not given at all.

Really?
I kind of hesitated in proposing as I wanted to look further into the matter, my girlfriend must have felt that maybe I didn't want to marry her or something o_o

Anyone else wants to share their experience?

My husband is a Japanese, I am not Japanese. He proposed to me without a ring, it was kind of spontaneous situation. Later on he insisted he has to give me an engagement ring, even if I did not want to. I did not want him to spend so much money. Anyway, I got a ring and I guess it was expensive so I mostly keep it in a box. I only know another Japanese-foreigner couple, they went through the same "ring" procedure as us but I do not have enough knowledge about usual custom in Japan in general.

Purchase within your comfort zone.

I gave my wife an engagement ring on my insistence.

We found a place in Osaka for the our wedding rings.

She wears both. I occasionally wear mine.

Really?

Yup. Of the half dozen Japanese weddings I've attended, exactly zero gave engagement rings. Most did exchange wedding bands at their wedding ceremonies but even that is a relatively new trend.

I kind of hesitated in proposing as I wanted to look further into the matter, my girlfriend must have felt that maybe I didn't want to marry her or something o_o

Sounds like you guys had the dreaded "hypothetical talk about marriage that somehow ended up in you both agreeing that it would be good if you got married" kind of proposal. That's the worst, and no wonder your fiance(?) is confused. I would call a do-over and propose again, in whatever way is customary in your country.

Anyone else wants to share their experience?

As another poster said, do what feels comfortable for you and your culture. Personally, I am American and my wife is Japanese, and I proposed in an "american style" but without a ring. We ended up going ring shopping together and found that engagement style rings were plentiful and easy to find. Any department store will have something appropriate, and there are dozens of jewelry companies out there. In the end we bought one in the US, but also realized that the engagement ring really wasn't all that important to us (my wife usually just wears her wedding band). Anyway, its really all a personal choice and do whatever you think is right for the both of you. Good luck and congrats!

Derek,

Long story short, since you've done the ''surprize'' already, discuss with her about what she would prefer.

She might be the type of a person who prefers top notch 3 months salary worth of diamonds, or she might want to save that money for something better.

I still see a lot of Japanese posts on the internet about engagement rings, so there definately are a certain population that prefers them, even though they don't wear them.

The whole diamond engagement ring ritual has been devised by De Beers & others in the diamond trade as one of the most brilliant marketing scams of all times. They have managed to convince a fairly large western female population that unless they are presented with (at least) 0.5 carat diamond, they are underappreciated and their fiances are unworthy losers. They even invented the 3 month salary (appropriate price) suggestion.