japanese manner asking about age

Situation: In Japan, normally we do not ask others regarding their age during a normal conversation.

Under what condition, a japanese lady will confess her age to a man eventhough the man did not ask the lady her age.

I thought we were (compared with others) ruthless with asking or at least asking probing questions into peoples ages.

It depends on the lady's age, but a few situations I can think of: she might mention her age voluntarily if she (suppose she is over 30 or so) has reasons to believe that she looks younger than her age and that the surprised guy might drop her a compliment; or if she is in her 20s or early 30s - sensitive age - and got introduced to a man, and has reasons to believe that the man is assuming that she is far younger than she actually is, she might feel compelled to mention it herself, just to correct him.

Are you asking out of real-life situation, or would this be for a novel? :)

japanese people are very ruthless about age height weight however they are shy with salary relationship status and rejecting someone.

japanese people are very ruthless about age height weight however they are shy with salary relationship status andrejecting someone.

I don't agree with the "rejection" part.

It depends on the person.

They just vanish whenever they are uncomfortable in any relationship(read friendship,romantic,casual)its hard for them to confront and clarify.Yes I do agree it depends on each person but the number of such cases I have seen with Japanese people is so high that I have came to this conclusion its indeed a cultural thing .

From personal experience, I have to agree with Shen.

It's pretty much the same as English-speaking countries like the UK, US, Australia, New Zealand etc.

Many ladies never confess their age, while many people like me just say it regardless, like "I'm 50 and when I was in school, blah blah blah..."

If there is anything different, a lot of people in Japan mention their "eto" instead of their age. ("I was born in the year of the ox, so da da da...") Sometimes this works well on bluring your age, but for many situations it's just a more convenient way of finding things common with other people. The listener might respond, "Oh, you're the same eto as my father. But of course, you're probably 12 years younger."

Either way, if you're a guy, you shouldn't even pretend to ask unless you need to.

Under what condition, a japanese lady will confess her age to a man eventhough the man did not ask the lady her age.

I am male, and I don't recall ever having a Japanese woman reveal her age to me unprompted. However, I have been asked my age countless times. In fact, it is probably one of THE most common topics of casual conversation behind asking where I'm from and what I do in Japan.

From personal experience, I have to agree with Shen.

I was talking from personal experience too.

From personal experience, I have to agree with Shen.

I was talking from personal experience too.
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This is interesting.I am assuming you are a foreigner.You mean you have been given explanation/clarification by a number japanese people about how they do not like something/anything about you or your view/decision/idea of living at any kind of occasion when they decides to move away from whatever relationship you were having with them?If so then it was really great for you to meet those people.

You mean you have been given explanation/clarification by a number japanese people about how they do not like something/anything about you or your view/decision/idea of living at any kind of occasion when they decides to move away from whatever relationship you were having with them?

Spot on.

You mean you have been given explanation/clarification by a number japanese people about how they do not like something/anything about you or your view/decision/idea of living at any kind of occasion when they decides to move away from whatever relationship you were having with them?

Spot on.

That almost never happens, and when it does it usually means the person being rejected really left no other choice. While far from the norm, I've seen this done once or twice in situations when the offender was hopelessly KY of the normal social cues.

i just can say that depends on person, some are super friendly, other are extremely "japanese". on another site i knew a girl i use to exchange emails for months. one day i had the brilliant idea to ask her ask her real name since she never told her and i always end my email with my name. she says that it was rude to ask her real name because was a really personal information!!!

From my experience as an exchange student, I was taught it's almost the 2nd or 3rd thing you ask someone regardless of gender.

That or to ask more indirectly like year in school, years working at a kaisha, etc.

-Derek

People rarely outright say their age I find but they always give obvious hints. Like "Oh, I was in australia for my third year of uni. That was.....2003?" gives you a obvious place to work from of 2003=21/22 or so.

I am female and I was asked my age and marital status within the first 5 minutes when first introduced to the friends of a friend in Japan. I'd never get asked that at home by relative strangers, especially in a mixed gender group, and it amused me greatly. On the other hand I never got asked a single question about work/salary.